Have you ever emotionally hurt another person as as result of anger, jealousy etc?

Have you ever emotionally hurt another person as as result of anger, jealousy etc?

Are there any books on learning to live with the fact you have done this?

Fiction or non-fiction, I don't mind.

>Have you ever emotionally hurt another person as as result of anger, jealousy etc?
When I was a child, maybe. Not as an adult

In Crime and Punishment almost everyone does it, Raskolnikiv, Sonya, Marmeladow, Svidrigailov.

What happens to them? How do they deal with their actions?

I admit I am very paranoid etc, but I feel like I have this big black stain on my existence because of the way I've behaved in the past. What's worse is that I behaved this way towards a stranger, and it was obviously a result of my anger problems and my jealousy at the time. I won't go into details, but the idea that something I wrote harmed someone and made them feel bad haunts me to this day.

Try reading Dostoevsky. The true contender for a guilt-ridden mind would be Crime and Punishment but it's taken to the extreme in this one.
I guess the Eternal Husband would be good too. The protagonist is basically someone who's struggling with the memories of bad stuff he did in the past, at the beginning of the novel, but the story doesn't really revolve that much around this. Still, it's an interesting book to consider within the larger scope of Doestoevsky's other works.

What are your personal views on the issue?

In my case I find myself simply unable to cope with the idea that my reckless words bourne of jealousy caused another person, a stranger at that, to feel bad and negatively affected their life. I admit I overthink everything I do and imagine paranoid, unrealistic scenarios but still, I am so greatly ashamed of how I acted in my early 20s.

I have very similar feelings. I feel a bottomless dread because of decisions made in the past, the way I behaved and the general state of humanity. It doesn't do it justice, but to put it very simply, I completely and utterly wasted my entire youth and feel separated from humanity. Instead of time "healing the wounds" it did the opposite. I try to cope by the fact that normal humans have a completely different sense of consciousness than me and have so much going on in their lives that they simply forgot about it or easily dealed with it. That may very well be the case, but I'm still fucked up and will be forever.
I've been a shut-in for over two years now and I don't think any book will help.

Without attempting to negate your feelings or dismiss your convictions, I would suggest that despite your being a shut-in you are still - as far as I can tell - ethically blameless. That alone is something - if applicable to yourself - that you should feel proud of. I have a job (though it is by no means a career) though I am friendless and utterly lacking in social grace. But I am so thin-skinned, so concerned with the virtue of my actions and decisions, that I find it incredibly difficult to feel at all "good" about myself despite the fact that people generally view me as a polite, kind-hearted guy. I have real intense anger issues stemming from my childhood (not an excuse in adulthood) and although I haven't done anything illegal or consistently harmful (e.g. harassment etc) the real shameful thing about my situation is that I don't simply express my anger by fighting someone, or taking drugs, or shouting at a friend - instead I channel this hatred in a really cold, pretty calculated manner. It isn't good at all and I would honestly rather be a NEET who never hurt anyone than a mildly "successful" wagearner with this guilt haunting me.

I've been trying to write a decent reply to you but I just can't come up with something satisfactory.
But I think I understand how you feel. I personnally dread my teenage years for all sorts of reasons and have had (and still have) a hard time coping with the guilt/shame of things I've said or done during those years.
The thing is I can't say I've overcome anything in a cathartic way. Reading Dostoevsky aroused a certain interest for religion in me, but I've never followed through with this interest to, say, actually join a christian community, though sometimes I really want to.
I'm basically like and live as cut off from the outside world as I can be but there's still a sense of responsability to some people that I try to shun and I feel like a complete coward about it.
I'm not sure I'm one to give you meaningful life lessons or advice. Maybe read some philosophy or theology, that helped me a bit. Definetely read Crime and Punishment as it strongly deals with guilt, so you'll most likely get something out of it, whatever it may be.

The thing about shutting yourself off from the outside world is that while things such as poverty, obscurity, alienation, loneliness and social failure can cause immense suffering, as long as you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and be fine with what you see then all is well. But the wealthy man, or the successful man, or the popular man who can't do the same, or can only look at his reflection with elaborate justifications for his foul actions, is in my opinion in a worse position.

I think of George Saunders's story "Offloading Mrs Schwartz" and the final line is really very intense (i.e. the line about wiping your memory and telling your new self that your old self never hurt anyone) and that sentiment kills me. I simply can never imagine myself being happy or content with my life with this indelible guilt in my life.