Prove you are a better writer

I HABE A BERY BIG BENIS TOUCHIT

Nobody here can even fathom. Let alone imagine. ...

They are all thirsty betas. with no potential.

I woke up to a woman. Apparently she broke into my home and tied my curtains around her legs.

Fuck you, sleep with me. I'm not going to dive into some romantic bravado, you know exactly what you're doing. As do I, so let's start in style.

I destroyed some cunts and broke some hearts in my Life, but still I feel this overwhelming loneyness all the time... seems like my destiny is to live in solitary confinement

Woke up. Ghost was there again. Tassled, youthful, supple, unreachable. Clothes red this time.

Can always tell with ghosts; they look like you've been rubbing vaseline in your eyes - too glamorous.

i'd rather read quora and yahoo answers than this garbage.

also op, very nice picture i love it. i saved it!! because i want that knit and that lady is so pretty she reminds me of my mom and also just super gorgeous. love her!!!!!!!! natural is best, like brooke shields and even then.. omg what a beautiful knit dress top/skirt iw ant!!! :')!!!! next year for sure!!^-^!

How could a man, respected and loved by the whole city, fall into such an obvious trap? His absolute incompetence baffled him. There was a woman, not entirely unlike the stern and solemn picture behind her, who, garbed in a horrible knit, looked at him. What she had done to him was, to her prisoner, still unknown.

"Dad?"
The surgery had clearly been a success. Poised in his late mother's bedroom, my womanly father was now stretching his limbs and practicing making faces in vanity mirror. He must not have heard me.
"Dad?" I asked again. He turned, his feminine hair falling away to reveal the convincing illusion of supple breasts. He raised a seductive, inquiring eyebrow.
"I just came to ask how your quadruple-bypass/kidney transplant/liposuction/LASIK relaxing surgical getaway went. I guess they still had that BOGO deal, huh?"
"Shut up and get me a beer." Came his old, familiar voice. He hadn't changed a bit.

That's nice

Woke up, saw a busty chick In my room, asked her if she was Jewish. The answer was an obvious no, so I threw her out

1. why am I in a Russian palace
2. who is this qt and did we do it
3. her form is lacking, she needs to have both of her delicious footsies planted on the floor to get a good hamstring stretch

My pants, I came in them.

2 things come to mind. 1) Did she bring chocolate Babka and Prosecco? 2) Why is she still wearing clothes?

HOOLY MOLY

The
Big
Penis.

Veeky Forums has a sense of humor

I think all of you are pretty swell

My peepee is hard
My hand is so silky
When I touch my peepee
Out comes white milky!

I was clearly dreaming...

The bedroom light snapped on revealing the tasseled whore, the very same I'd rebuffed at the bar earlier. Our eyes locked as she shed her curtain dress to reveal her bushy vag and floppy tits. Ay carumba! I exclaimed as she set upon me, attempting to unleash my inner fury from my 1000 thread count sheets. I over powered her and rained blows down upon her she was defeated. I lay wasted atop the sheets savouring my victory.

i hate your outfit, come here and get this knot out of my back you bitch

Doesn't get old

unnerving and by that i mean my dick could not be more flaccid

"Finally." I said with a sigh as I reached the hotel room door. The plane flights from New York to Prague grew to be quite tiresome as the years grew on - yet another failing of being an office-lackey. Grasping the ornate door-handle, I tiredly thrust the door open to my usual home-away from home in all of its gilded-gold regal nonsense. Thinking about the flower curtains almost gave me a migrane. Instinctively I pulled the door closed behind me and began to release my feet from those awful dress-shoes, only to see something strange in the corner of my eye amidst the typical neo-classical bullshit composing the room. I looked up to fully see what the strange shape was and realized that it was another person.

"AHHHHH! Holy shit! What the fuck!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, and as the reverberating din of my sheepish cry fell silent I realized that it was some sort of harlot, dressed in some absolutely ghastly burgundy knit get-up that looked more common in a strip club than the Intercontinental Hotel. 'What the... are those boots or are they socks?' I thought to myself, now taking in the absolute travesty of the... "clothes" on her body. 'And... gold trims with tassels? What the fuck is she wearing?' I was about ready to lambast this foreign agent of lechery for her poor choice in fashion when I realized the most disturbing thing of all: this bitch broke into my hotel room. 'No, maybe it was Charlie, I bet it was fucking Charlie. This is the last fucking time he pulls some dumb shit on me like this I swear to god... 'It's just a prank'? My fucking ass...'

"Oh my!" said the escort with a surprised expression, "I didn't mean to scare you." "Bitch what the fuck do you think you're doing in my got-damn hotel room?!" I exclaimed. "Oh... well I thought that we could have some f-" "No I don't fucking think so, get the fuck out now and tell Charlie that I'm done with his fucking games." "Can't we just have some alone time together?" moaned the escort, now propping her foot on the bed and leaning over in a sluttish manner. "No bitch, I don't want anything to do with your filthy meat-pocket." The whore became confused at those last words, and after a moment of what I'm sure was the most thinking she'd done all day she asked, "Are you gay?" "Yes bitch, now if you would so kindly take your dumb ass out of my goddamn hotel room I won't throw you out of the fucking window." I said, pointing to the flower-draped window with my open palm. "Well I have a cure for that.. don't worry big boy..." "Big-big boy-no, no no no, get the fuck out NOW." The bitch chuckled under her breath in a sultry manner and said, "Well I'm not going anywhere, handsome." she said, sprawling over the bed. "Okay." I said.

I dropped my bags to the floor in complete disregard for my precious laptop I used on business trips like this one and swiftly walked over to the bed. I could see the expression on her face almost becoming satisfied for a moment, but then changing quickly as her eyes went wide with fear. “No, wait, what are you doing?” she asked, becoming scared of my intentions. Quickly I mustered my strength and grasped her waist with both arms, carrying her off of my bed to the window. “No it’s too late now bitch!” I said, grunting under my jet-lagged spirits and the weight of a dumb hoe. “No! Stoooop!” yelled the harlot. “I told you bitch…” I said, heaving her backwards, “you’re going to get the fuck out or I’m going to throw you out!” and pitched her through the window. I went back to my bed, hardly registering the sounds and sights of her ejection from my room. I fiddled through my pocket and pulled out my B&H’s, lighting one and inhaling its smoke deeply. In the distance I heard the awful honk of euro-sirens in the distance from the now “open” window, which was now at least more interesting to look at. As the sirens drew nearer, I realized that this was going to be one of the most painful trips to Prague ever.

"Hello Laetitia Casta, you look 15 years younger than you currently are. I used to jerk off to you a lot."

Honestly loved it

Prague and windows is a combo that never gets old

Writer here, I figured you were referencing something I didn't know about so I searched "prague window" on google and found this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestrations_of_Prague

Holy shit my fucking sides man

Oh egads! My roast is ruined!

books on how to get a cutie like this?

shit was sooooo cash
feces so money

I ound her in the red Room. She stood like a burlesque dancer in front of the painting of the lady. Her choice of clothing indicated she has fashioned them from the drapes with a pair of rusty scissors. A Thot come to take my wizard powers.

My turgid member stirred deep within my loins

Kidnapped

I swung the door open faster than I care to admit. It hadn't gorged itself on any street meat since the last full moon and laid before me was the most succulent tenderloin. More rare than your average, I marveled at the distribution of it's marbeled fat. Thick only where need be.
Speaking to me, it mumbled,
"P-please Gidìan sss-start at the f-fingers"

When I woke up there was a woman in front of me, the woman I had gone to be with last night. Sleep had been rough to start, for she had been up immediately post-coitus and made a business of tearing down my beautiful red velvet curtains with golden thread detail. At the time I was languid in the arms of fading orgasm, and simply bore the spectacle without protest.

In my dreams that night I heard the sounds of great textile workers' scissors severing expensive threads. They made curious counterpoint to the dream itself, in which I wandered a house of infinite rooms, each one containing featuring a different set of beautiful curtains over its windows. Of some palpable, incomprehensible fear I could not approach the curtains and pull them apart to see what lay beyond the window.

On waking, in the brightest of winter's daylight amplified by the night's thick snowfall, I beheld before my portrait of the obscure Queen Josephine—who had secretly reigned in Victoria's place for a mere two days in 1876—the woman who had destroyed my curtains. I decided then that, with my eyes transfixed by the magnificent chiffon breasts that billowed forth from the neatly refashioned detritus of my once prized curtains, I would never have casual sex again.

Bright lights of nothingness simmer his fictional universe into dark crevasses of Satan's anal passage. Lacking control, the temporary death of his former self was escaping firm grasp. Breaths of floral beauty withered in shame as the florescent trees of life faded into the dusk. Saddened was he. How could a world so tangible become dust in the hands of the creator? The apocalypse of fabricated times bent the hands of the frigid clock. Dark turned to light as numbness turned to feelings of frightened tranquility. The screens of post modern filmography became clear vision. Desperately, he leaked tears on the world he once knew as plausible, as if dead societies resurrected with emotion. Was what he saw in the distant reach a figure of the dream world? Disappointed, he murdered the bell that rang the awakened beast.

How did I do? Really? Im amateur I need critique

I wake up with my usual morning wood poking through the rift of my pajama bottoms. Upon seeing the half-dressed hag at the foot of my bed my boner rapidly deflated.

"Thank you," I said. "It'll be so much easier to piss now."

The woman said nothing because she was, of course, imaginary.

My dad shit on my face. "Faggot," he whispered. Obama was there

I woke up this morning to a woman in my bedroom. She tried to seduce me by making lingerie out of my curtains. I killed her for failing.

I woke up. With the voice of a mad god the words, "I hate minorities," soared out the lips of my statue. I went back to sleep.

the best things in life cannot properly expressed

These were fun, thank you. Keep writing!

>"Yes, even I get a turn to be his whore. Lucky me, eh?" said Anna.

Wool knitten panties, oh my. I bet those are awfully uncomfortable, my love. Better you come to grandpa so he'll take them off for you.

The squeak and bounce of my mattress shook me awake. Blinking, I realized she had hefted one of her legs onto its corner. What was this? I had collapsed from fatigue, arriving home after an ultimately fruitless and frustrating journey. She must have let me sleep for a time, but now stood above me, presenting herself. I felt repulsed, but did not show it. This... lingerie? She had knitted it. Her latest pursuit. I knew to compliment the work, but struggled for words. "What fine tassels," I said lamely. She almost hid her frown, and continued to stare. I had been gone months, and this was her way of expressing that she would be dutiful, regardless of the distance that had grown between us. Neither of us desired the other, nor would either of us be the first to admit it. I parted my lips, as if to speak, then closed both lips and eyes. Taking a breath, I sat up, and put a cold hand on her thigh.

During a chilly, dark autumn morning. As I search across the endless space that is the web, for a pair of neon kitten socks. I stumble across an advertisement for the Veeky Forums board, as I am distracted by Veeky Forums during my quest for neon kitten socks.

"What a fancinating board, I say!" I exclaim softly through the silence of the dark. I scroll through the board on what is my Smartphone with the left hand, I clench onto my suffed animal with my right hand, embracing it in anticipation as I am presented a challenge of wits through the art of writing in what is the lit board!

"I accept this duel!" I exclaim, as I raise my fist with my index finger held out as I point towards the cieling of my bedroom.
"Hey, Asshole," two loud thumps echo across the two-story house "I'm trying to sleep!" says my disgruntled awaken roommate with a disdainful tone in his voice.

I do not respond to avoid disturbing my roommate any further. And so, with this challenge presented to me. I see a moh-bile photo, with a framed painting in the background, and a seemingly pleasant woman breaking the 'fourth wall' in attempt to tempt me into a quarrel that leads to casual mating, with me leaving awkwardly in the middle of the night and her wanting me to call her again.

~Thee end!

I come to beneath a monument to flesh, The Lady in Red, hotblooded curves of coppersun complexion traced tightly down into cotton sleeves, pinup legs in the space of dreams, read in hunter's eyes felt in ruby lips between locks of bronze election

Damn, I'm gonna pound that so hard it's gonna look like attempted murder.

"Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne" I thought to myself

3 am
night was a balaclava made out of chain-mail
some photo of girl on an image board
shining into my eyes like
burning light
so bright
but i didn't care
because there where other and better posts to see
other and better places to be
like my bed
Op was a fag
and she was some hag
and my existence is sad
because it's past midnight
and i'm on Veeky Forums

I wake up feeling groggy but I hear a seductive voice ring in my room. I stir and look up to find some charlatan in lingerie has broken into my room and glued backwards binoculars to my face.

I awake and find that the genie had granted my wish: the throw pillow from the living room, the red one with all the tassels, had been brought to life.

I like this user

It was Letitia Casta, dressed like an idiot.

I couldn't drink enough to stop this horror but I tried,

please move out of the way you are blocking my view. also i am allergic to your tassles if that is any animal fibre, get away from me or i will die.

Of a sudden, I arise to sentience. This woman hovering over me, pudendum asway, is brushed aside for access to my glasses. upon my lenses shielding me from the fuzz, I wonder who this woman is, and stretch myself. I look then at the painting and make a mental bote to determine its value. I ask her the obvious question and await response.