Well, Veeky Forums?
Have you ever wondered what Hogwarts, the magical school from critically acclaimed best selling piece of literature Harry Potter, would be like... if it were predominately black?
Let's have a literary discussion about this hypothetical literary scenario taking the planet by storm, as it is both relevant to literature and the purposes of this board, and highly thought provoking
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It would smell really bad for a start
It would be about 250 pages of this before it ends with someone stealing the flying car
Probably the same as black schools in real life, most of them would drop out after failing too many classes and knocking some ho up
probably would look like any inner city school in a nigger town
I've wondered what would Hogwarts be if it were all Russian. I think there would be a lot of bullying.
Like this, I imagine.
Powerful. Inspiring
Wouldn’t have sold desu
>watch video
>girl starts to read something at 3:40
>al--alleg---alej---all-LEG-ed-LY
Jesus Christ shes illiterate.
>teachers have to let students openly curse and insult them because expecting them to act civil would be called racist
Houses to be sorted into:
Hennessy
Dindunuffons
Cadillac
Sicklecell
Classes:
Defense against the paternity test
Lootin
Magic is real yo
How to steal car stereos
How to turn books into food stamps
Quidditch is banned because “we don’t want no snitches up in this piece.”
Black Dumbledore names His Phoenix “mixtape”
Shaniqua granger uses the time turner only for winning at lottery tickets at the gas station
Death eaters only use glocks
All broom models are called “my dick, yo”
Err body respects serius black
Black hagrid only raises pit bulls and Rottweilers
Black Mrs sprout only grows weed
All the carts pulled by invisible horses have spinning rims on them
I could go on but it’s so easy it would be a crime....
And crime is for niggers
In all seriousness, instead of sticking a bunch of black people in Hogwarts, why not, say, imagine another magical school in some country in Africa? Maybe they'd teach shaman magic, spirit magic, ancestor magic, that sort of thing.
Because people are actively being eaten and burnt alive in Africa around that shit and its a bit too real for a childrens fantasy book
Sorry Nazi, having access to whites and white resources is an inherent POC right.
Ayo
>this is the future of the university
>predominately
>17 posts
>still no pasta
Would still be the DULLEST franchise
i bet it'd be pretty good.
but according to The Hate U Give, poor black people in the U.S. mostly identify with Slytherin because Slytherins are rich.
EXPECTO ABORTICUS
The exact same but with ashy elbows
underrated post
There's no reason at all to wonder about a BLACKED version of one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
The free condom machine would be broken into and garbage would be sitting around the can instead of inside of it. Desks would probably be nailed to the floor.
Lol
hol up, is Hypersphere good in any way I just figured it was postmodern garble and memes
Are you taking a book chart that includes "Clifford for President" seriously?
gangs instead of houses
10/10
Hypersphere completes the Western canon
sup my muddies
wuss poppin jimbo
>knowing this much about harry potter lore
who's the real nigger?
I'd watch that spin off.
It's not saying much, but that would probably be more interesting than the original book.
No it isn't. Evergreen was criticised heavily by the state for listening to these bands of students, their funding plummeted and everyone sees it as insanity.
The most absurd thing about this to me is that it was in WA where this happened, one of the most liberal and unoppresive states to be a othered minority in. Evergreen was a literal embarrassment for WA schools. No one was proud.
no I haven't. See, once you denounce racism completely, you simply stop thinking about such thimgs
omnia extares
I knew enough people who defended them to think otherwise. Today's radicals are tomorrow's regulars; this is especially true in the academic world.
You're wrong.
Evergreen College is not heralded by anyone that anybody takes seriously.
It's nearly impossible to imagine any kind of narrative involving black people beyond petty "ayo hold my shit nigga" squabbles.
The entire school would be a dump, nothing would be learned, and all of the adult figures would be weirdos who are good at crying wees beezum needinta upliftment dem chitlins but too stupid to actually do anything.
just imagine the addidas track uniform squatting students everywhere
all the drunk broom flying accidents
the chambers under the school being a
fucking metro
no chess just CS:GO
There is one, it's called Uagadou and it's in Uganda. They can apparently cast spells with their hands, so that's cool.
isn't that durmstrang tho
or is that just generic eastern european (despite having a spoonerised german name)
their bit was the best bit of the worst hp film tho
youtu.be
it would be the same just with people of Nigerian and Jamaican parentage who's culinary tastes, speech patterns, and general cultural practices are largely indistinguishable from those of their white British counterparts
There are no Americans at Hogwarts.
The flying car would be a lada. Hogworts would be very expansionist and voldermort would be a pissed off Ukrainian. Potions class would be a class on mixing drinks and all the wands would fire 7.62 ammo
>The entire school would be a dump, nothing would be learned, and all of the adult figures would be weirdos
Honestly, this describe Hogwarts quite well.
>who's got the power?
>muggles got the power!
In Uganda thei kno de wey
ayo hold up, i heard we got fuckin magic snakes in this mu'fuckin old-ass whack-ass shitter, yo
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