Best bible translations

hey fags,
i wanna read stories in the bible (similar to jordan petersons reading of em), whats the best translation for that kind of analysis?

KJV.

Literally better than the 'originals'.

You won't get anywhere with that shit image

why's that?

what image would you suggest?

>(similar to jordan petersons reading of em),
Fuck off, if you had any literary sense the answer would be obvious.

...

"Peterson" should be a banned word on Veeky Forums, like "reddit" was for a while.

Written by more intelligent theologians in a better literal language, with a better crystalised meaning and flow.

47 Bible scholars who reviewed each other's work and used both original Greek and Hebrew manuscript, using dozens (can't remember exact number) of manuscripts.
New translations use two codices and a handful of translators, and generally leave out a lot of small but important details.

KJV is definitely better than the banal NT Greek, its debateable about the OT though; the Hebrew is generally seen as great poetry (in parts) there are just not many non-Jewish scholars whoa re flunet enough to really give an unboased view of things.

Try Maurice nicoll, the new man

Based KJVposter.
The KJV is the single most important text in the history of the English language. All English speakers should be familiar with it. It's not that it's a more accurate translation than others, although it is more literal than most. It's that it's just superior English.

The Bible's Greatest Stories
Paul Roche

Very cheap also: $5 to $8 burger bucks

Modern scholars do much more research, based in old scholarship.
Fuck off, proddie.

The Great Code the Bible and Literature
by Northrop Frye (another Canadian)

It's criticism of the bible as literature also. It points how the bible already had the plot structures that Western Literature would flash out later.

There's a cheap paperback of it.

and I almost forgot: OP is a faggot

fuckin pleb
is this bait? seems like it would be too edited
thx for recc
what about 's criticism?
i mean, he sucks on a lot of things, but i like the bible interpretations when he doesnt go off on a tirade. at least to me, it seems like he's pretty well thought out the points in the stories, but i could be wrong?
>not a teen, do hate blacks gays n jews tho
let me guess now.. kjv? ive literally never seen anything about it really desu before today

>is this bait? seems like it would be too edited
no bait, mr. gorillanon
> i wanna read stories in the bible (similar to jordan petersons reading of em)
I just assumed OP wanted something storifiedly edited to get acquainted with the material.
Otherwise, I would suggest Douay-Rheims.

Don't fall for the KJV meme.

>The KJV is the single most important text in the history of the English language
No it isn't. Only KJVfags believe this.

>Original Hebrew
>Masoretic text
Pick one. The KJV literally uses sources that didn't exist until they were distributed by Jews in the ~9th-10th centuries. The Septuagint is older and more accurate.

the artscroll stone chumash

holy shit this is amazing. jewish autism is truly marvelous, i unironically want to convert now.

now it got me curious about sabbath and time zones, is sabbath calculated according to Jerusalem time or something? or the sunrise and sunset in Jerusalem?

It's only a daylight thing. the lizard people are free to go back to t heir degeneracy come nightfall.

It's where-ever you live sundown Friday to Sundown saturday

"Oh, Jordan, your alter boy slave is here. please let me circle the tip of my tongue around your asshole while stroking your shaft. I love it when you erupt over my face. Oh, Jordan, tell your filthy slave all about Cain and Abel again."

"Call me Dr. Peterson or Daddy, you bloody postmodern neo-marxist, and bend over. I've got a bible reading later, so no time for foreplay this time, bucko. But Daddy's gonna fuck your ass raw, man, and it's no bloody joke"

"Yes, Doctor Peterson. I'm sorry. Do you at least have time to talk about Marduk while your slave spreads his cheeks for you?"

so the site should calculate the closing time based on user's location to work properly, but I doubt they do that

Shouldn't it be based on wherever they're located?

yes which is why it's based on the time in new york

the sabbath is based on local times but festivals outside of israel are an extra day due to ancient difficulties in spreading word over long distances about the phases of the moon.

>image features fit attractive men and women in a clear bisexual/swinging subtext

>he proposes that there is anything in any meaningful way whatever wrong with such a great image