Tell me about your experience with college """"""English""""""" teachers

>junior year (of high school, got AP credit for colleg):
>really hot MILF teacher
>total bitch
>hated me 1st half but 2nd half of year thought I was genius cause of this poem I wrote
>she cried at my poem
>always fantasized about her
>knew she was married to vice president of some company and if she ever banged me her life would b over
>still don't know how to fel

My creative writing professor helped me a lot. She’s the reason I was first published, because she half-forced me to submit something to a journal. I wouldn’t have even tried for years probably. Got me to pick up the habit of writing one page a day no matter what, and to work in long hand until the late drafts, which have both helped me improve. Taught us how to write a cover letter for all our submissions as well. She understood my major influences are almost all 19th century and earlier 20th century writers, but also tried to push contemporary fiction on me because she felt I was too influenced by 19th century classics. It didn’t really work except I do get the collection of O. Henry Prize Best Stories every year.

It helped I was one of the only people that actually read on my own time. I would often go to office hours to talk about other books that were not assigned for the class.

>junior year
>hear that teacher's cat got run over yesterday
>hes 5 mins late
>i get up and go to white board
>draw giant 10ftx10ft quite detailed depiction of his cat getting run down
>sit back down
>he walks in
>see it
>looks away, walks to desk, sits down, puts head down
>we hear sobbing
>at this point im like whoops went too far this time
>he gets up, face blood red with anger
>grabs the dude in the bag up out of his seat because he for whatever reason thinks its him
>he starts screaming at him about a total lack of respect and how we were all evil, etc
>he looks at the kids desk
>he was drawing pictures of dicks like in fucking Superbad
>teacher picks it up and screams "OH LOOK! HE'S ALSO DRAWN PENISES DOING VARIOUS HUMAN ACTIVITIES. ISNT THAT CLEVER? WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF WE HAD THE CLASS WHITE BOARD EXCLUSIVELY FOR YOU TO ALL COME UP AND DRAW GENETALIA ON?"
>I snigger
>he turns
>"IM GLAD YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY MR user"
>he storms out
>i erase the board
>draw a dick with wings
>another kid draws a vagina with arms and legs
>other kids draw dicks and stuff
>he comes back in after like 20 mins
>sees the board
>never saw him again

Joseph?

fake and gay news

No. Sorry.

>freshman year english course
>professor is middle aged woman with a knee brace
>finds out some girls in the class play basketball
>spends 30 minutes talking about her collegiate basketball career and how it fucked up her knees and tells them how to avoid fucking themselves up
>goes over the syllabus for 10 seconds and tells us to fuck off
>second class
>unprompted, starts talking about how much money her husband makes for 10 minutes
>then starts talking about israel and how we as americans are obligated to help them out unconditionally
>after 20 minutes of this shit i leave and drop the class

>doing this in college
faggot

it was basically a neo marxist indoctrination course

As an engineering major I will say that, thought the english professors I had were terrible, many of the engineering professors I had were even worse, and if I had the opportunity to take more english classes I probably would have had better teachers at some point.

High school, but he straight up told us he wanted us to read fewer straight white men. The entire class was purely focused on social juistice. He told us gender and biological sex have literally no correlation whatsoever, you can’t be racist against white people, talked about manspreading, and at one point brought in one of the school councilors as a guest speaker to tell us men can’t be raped.
I shit you not.

>work in long hand until the late drafts
Care to elaborate on this?
Non native here.

I'm always wondering if that's American education or some /pol/ack trying to shit up the board.

I'm a Frog working in a wealthy liberal art college now, and I've never heard of that stuff. How can that shit fly?

It was a very liberal school in s very liberal city. Ironically though gay teachers weren’t allowed to come out because it was a catholic school and they would lose their jobs.

>How can that shit fly
That's what happens when you base your entire national zeitgeist around mcdonalds and guns

What.
It saddens me because I am a SJW - as in, I do support emancipatory movements and social democracy - but it often feels like hordes of absolute retards have taken a liking to what they perceive as an "ideology of progress," and they seem very keen on enforcing it even if it contravenes directly with basic human decency.

Might a point there.

>highschool English teacher was a melancholic woman
>had trouble maintaining presence in class and would sometimes give up
>class would make noise and she would call us sub humans whenever she could keep our attention
>when she would she would provide the best analyses of books I've ever heared (maybe not impressive now but hey it was interesting in highschool)
>class didn't think so
>would make fun of her behind her back
>pull pranks on her every so often
>but she still persisted teaching us
>she loved to describe a her favourite passage from a book over and over
>describes a woman being left at the altar by her husband, and she just stands there shocked for days on end
>this description makes me love literature but I would still continue with the stupid bullshit the class would pull on her
>fast forward two years
>she leaves the school
>hear talk from some younger students that the reason why she always seemed melancholic was that her fiancé died a few days before her wedding and she hadn't had a relationship since (she was approaching her fifties)
>it makes sense why she held that passage she would quote was her favorite
>feel like absolute shit
I'm so weak

He means writing by hand instead of typing

In my freshman year, he spent almost an hour telling us how it's objectively wrong not be feminists, and daring any of us to refute him.

No one did, but that didn't derail his pontification.

my junior year high school English teacher thought The Divine Comedy was written in Greek.

>lives with his mom
good lad, his instincts still work

My writing 2 professor marked me for using "that's" instead of "i.e." I dropped the class.

instead of using a computer or a typewriter, I write my stories by hand in pencil. Usually at least two drafts.

>is a prole
>still paying for uni
there's a thing called financial aid and another thing called merit scholarship, they give the 1st one out like hotcakes at smart uni's and the 2nd to smart kids. i guess you're just not very smart. it's ok, uni isn't for everyone

I'm an Assistant Language Teacher. I did a Bachelor of Arts majoring in Japanese Studies and Asian Studies.

Did you want to know something in particular?

Old guy in his 70s, had us reading Proust and Wordsworth in the course. He started every class with a 1-2minute meditation session bookended by a miniature gong. Taught me to read Proust, sorta. The gong was the best part of the course.

>junior year of college or some such thing
>professor is more salt than pepper, probably pushing mid 40's
>dude always wears the skinniest pants, pretty sure front row had bulge in their face the whole quarter
>constantly gesticulating with his coffee mug
>obsessed with Bob Dylan
>no fewer than 75% of the papers we were assigned had us comparing Bob Dylan songs
>when providing examples of credible sources he listed the Jacobin
>watch actual documentary about Bob Dylan and "Greenwich Village" in class
>final paper must be a comparison of some aspect of 1960's social upheaval to today
>says we should use what we learned from the Dylan songs

The quarter before I had that class I had another English professor who literally said the words "I am Elizabeth Warren" in the context of us needing to feel sorry for well-heeled liberals who lost some of their money in the housing bubble and now want to help all the peons, mostly by removing the payday-loan industry from the Earth. Where everything in my other class was about Bob Dylan, everything in this class was about the Ford Pinto. Solid school I went to, really got a lot out of it.

>the gong was the best part of the course
Lel

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Australian Shitposting. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of our culture most of the jokes will go over a amerifat's head. There's also an Australian's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - our personal philosophy draws heavily from our convict past and the Emu War, for instance.

The anons understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Australian Shitposting, truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in our existential catchphrase "G'day Mate," which itself is a cryptic reference to Banjo Paterson epic Waltzing Matilda.

I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Australian genius unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools... how I pity them.

And yes by the way, I DO have a Southern Cross tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

I approve of this post

Christ you guys have bad professors. My first english professor was incredible and he taught a class about hip hop.

My second english professor was a weirdo who graded everyone poorly at the beginning and then better as the semester went on, obviously to try and say that she improved our writing. I actually tried less on my later papers when I caught onto this.

I had a dumb whore on online class and I got a C. Fuck her and fuck computers.

>long hand
What's that? Just regular?

Most of my English teachers were autistic weirdos, obsessed with their area of study. Stuff like medieval lyric poetry and American southern literature. I thought it was great. Then there was 10 percent that were extremely driven to get ahead in the university system. I didn't like them as much desu.

>be me, midwestern white dude
>really good luck w/ professors
>they all help me on my journey to become hs english teacher
>each one is a role model in their own way
>they all expose me to new and interesting ideas
>could say they are surrogates for my parents, who weren't around
>now I'm a teacher, and I try to provide this same service
>tfw you "can't learn" at university

>retards
Uh, I just want to go ahead and let you know that using THAT word is NOT ok. Ok? You’re not truly invested in the struggles of others if you use the r-word. I’m so sick of people thinking they can be sjws when they need a true sjw to come and wreck them for constantly using ableist language. You’re scum and I do hope you die.

My ENG102 teacher was one of the best professors I've ever had. Never pushed an agenda or anything.

The only English-y courses I had to take were gen-eds and boy howdy did I fucking hate them. The worst was Readings in the Humanities. I had this one prof who was actually a pretty nice dude but he made all his classes so fucking political. I had him right around the elections and he kept talking about what a retard Trump was and how great Shillary was, he would always talk about feminist theory like everyone in the class would agree with him. The day after the election we had his class. The first thing he said was, "Well, I was planning on doing a class today were we would talk about all the hurtful, sexist, racist, misogynistic things that Trump said during his campaign but seeing the results I think that's a bit inappropriate."
You fucking nigger it would be inappropriate no matter what.
Literally fucking hate professors of courses that are not political in any way making them political.

Catholic college, had us fill out a card with our favorite book, mocks all the women in the class because they all put Harry Potter. Reading Hawthorne, in discussions starts complaining that people can't pick up on Biblical references, waving his hands toward the crucifix on the wall.

>mocks all the women in the class because they all put Harry Potter
deservedly so

Nice.

I had a jolly old guy who would always wear a Buddha belt buckle. He would explain the themes well enough that you could get by without having to read the book. He actually made me like literature more without getting me to pick up a book.

Had an American Literature Teacher who referred to the majority of western canon as 'mansplaining.' was otherwise a pretty cool guy though so I let it slide.

>guy
>referred
did he just mansplain?

If people like that were dragged out into the street and shot I don't know if I'd lift a finger.

Reminds me of a teacher I had in High School.
>Older woman who had a reputation of being stern and strict; she took shit from no-one.
>get her as a senior and she ends up liking me because I try to debate with her on everything
>80% of classes become constructive lit debates between me and her that have the whole class in hysterics
>is intentionally critical of me in order to make me try harder and also helps me out with personal problems
>actually asks to say goodbye to me personally on the last day of school
>Then a few months ago, I find out that she’s dying.

I miss her.

youtube.com/watch?v=hIGXlm20DH8

I dunno, I never paid attention. I just read what needed to be read, passed all my tests, then fucked off

How does one get to be an English teacher without being able to spell?

I had a professor for a class on black writers. He looked almost exactly like Sam Hyde. He also had kids that he and his wife adopted who were black.

America

>Be in Literary theory 1945-1970 class
>professor is old gay guy who says outrageous shit and is clearly a neurotic alcoholic but still charming
>professor refers to character in short story as a “dyke”
>autistic screeching from two LGBTQ students commences
>they beigin to cry and yell that he can’t say that word because it causes them trauma
>mfw Doc Brown the drunk professor who would talk about the gay porn he watches snaps back with no hesitation
>mfw he tells these shitheads that all of his friends died from AIDS and he used to get gay bashed in Baltimore in the 80s and he has the right to say whatever the fuck he wants
>girls end up quitting the class and the 12 of us left have great discussion about why post-modernism leaves us feeling empty

tl;dr college is real gay

>Class is Literature since 1900
>Majority of the readings are from the late 1800s
>Professor begins every statement with "in some ways" or "in a lot of ways"
>Every time a student says something he disagrees with he says "could be," and just moves on without engaging with it at all
>Prefaces what are obviously his own interpretations with "now the modern feminist interpretation is..."
>Makes every single reading about how women are oppressed

He was kind of a cool guy, though.

I had one where he would jump around in excitement everytime we started a new topic of a book we were reading, especially about Frankenstein and Cyrano de Bergerac.