Responsible adulthood

Philosophy early on in life has made me despise and abhor the concept of being responsible and mature in society. Granted I do things mechanically and it has gotten to a point I am currently married and a PhD candidate, but I derive no joy from any of it. It's like I learned how to do stuff, or rather, I learned how to convince people I am really good at doing stuff while doing the least possible of it, but I never quite had a drive to do said stuff anyway. I don't take any medicine so it leaks out badly at times and I'm in for a couple of days of miserably failing everything.

There's little difference in how both of us feel (not much consolation I know), so beware of your definition of adulthood, and THAT is something philosophy can help with. Not with your habits but with your outlook.

A lot of people see ‘adulthood’ as taking on responsibilities (that, honestly, is what a lot of people mean when they say ‘adulthood’, whether or not they recognize this) but responsibilities are essentially the death of the true self. They force a person to armor themselves with a superficial superego to cope. 9-5 has a much more horrible effect on people’s humanity than we tend to admit. There is a true self deep under charged memories and acquired traits (dhamapada and plato’s Parmenides) that we were closest to just after birth and we grow further from it the more conditioning our psyche suffers. The goal of the human is to recollect that pre-birth state of being to gaze on the idea of the Good itself but every step toward adulthood is five steps away from this goal. Or something like that

23 is fine if you get working now.
26 is the too late marker

>The goal of the human is to recollect that pre-birth state of being

Try killing yourself

>Well- let me tell you about Pinocchio

Take it up with Plato, Jung, vedantic philosophy and Taoism. I’m just relaying the message

>Take it up with Plato
Plato preached gaining knowledge not a pre birth state stupid dumb boy did you even read Phaedo?

> like I learned how to do stuff, or rather, I learned how to convince people I am really good at doing stuff while doing the least possible of it

fuck I know this is going to be me and im only 18

Yes, not as much as living the wild life

Romanticism has an antidote. You're not going to like it.

How do I stop loving? I need to go on, to carry on, to fucking progress my life

You need ritual, spirituality, and entheogens for a jumpstart. Politics: Chang Tzu. Exercise and save money.

What is it?

kill yourself?

Being 28 and thinking about a girl you went to highschool with and haven't seen since is not love

Heartbreak (breaking up, casted aside for someone else, being cheated on etc.)

What romantic books deal with that?

yes it is
if you mean how do you stop loving some specific person then i've had to deal with that situation:
>hook up girl (who is also a friend)
>i was already in love before we hooked up
>we hook up a few more times
>once when we were hooking up she tells me how she doesn't deserve me, i think "hmm thats weird" but ignore it
>taking me completely by surprise she ends up dating one of my best friends
>i don't say anything to him about it because i feel bad because i know they sort of had a thing first, but i feel internally devastated
>after a few weeks of heartbreak i decide to go all out scorched earth policy
>i almost completely ignore her, avoid situations where i know she will be
>since i know i cant completely socially avoid her when i do see her around if she talks to me i give brief answers and try to eject from the convo as quickly as possible etc
>after a couple months of that im completely over her, and we even become friends again
>later through the years we hook up a few more times but the old feelings for her are completely gone

basically , the only way is to quarantine yourself from the person you're infatuated with. if you were in a very serious relationship with this person for a long time, then i dont know if that would work but it's worth a try

24 year old manchild here. Was an alcoholic for three years, now 3 months sober, completely aimless.
Talked to my attorney today (he keeps putting continuances on my court date (DUI) because he wants me to be doing well before there's court penalties over my head) and basically told me that I lack any character and that what I'm doing is not living. He tells me to exercise and get a sponsor but I doubt this will solve my problems and give me a personality.
Alcohol was the only thing that did. Any addict anons here with advice?

retarded frog

Anamnesis is not about being a useless NEET, birth is a trauma that erases your connection to the one, going back to that trauma won't bring you any closer to it

Romantic love is a modern phenomenon actually. 400 years old at best.

just do like Dante and become part of secret society about love
>The Fedeli d'Amore (The Faithful of Love) were a group of poets practicing an erotic spirituality, which can be seen as an application of chivalric ideas (including courtly love) to the regeneration of society. Anderson [ADM 80] describes them as, "rare spirits who were struggling to devise a code of life that retained from chivalry the idea of nobility, while making it depend on personal virtue instead of inherited wealth and breeding, and that preserved spiritual aspirations not unlike those of some mendicants without demanding a life of withdrawal or celibacy." They "formed a closed brotherhood devoted to achieving a harmony between the sexual and emotional sides of their natures and their intellectual and mystical aspirations" [ADM 85]. The Fedeli were expected to write only about their own mystical experiences, so actual practice was mandatory, and they apparently had a system of degrees representing the levels of spiritual progress.

For all the people saying it's too late, explain why for once.

I'm in the same boat, but at least I'm not frogposting.

social skills take years of constant effort on the part of infants to learn, if you are a 30 year old fuck with decreased brain plasticity chances that you would have the willpower to put the kind of hours needed to actually develop the skills you lack is very low

Can it help? Certainly. That being said, there is no miracle book that will magically transform you into a man without any effort on your part. Personally, I find reading about ambitious and great men that I can idolize useful for this purpose. The autobiography of Ben Franklin for example.

It doesn't take that long as an adult, even if you have to take breaks for months because things get in the way you can do it 1-3 years.

>decreased brain plasticity

People throw this around all the time, it doesn't hampen you anywhere near what you think it does. It only takes around 21 days to instill a habit as a 30 year old.

lol

forming habits is fine, but it will take much longer to build your skill, and all that time you spend building skill you will receive negative feedback from people every time you fuck it up

which is fine as a kid, because kids are retarded and if you have decent adults around they'll have patience with your retardation, but if you are a grown up nobody is going to indulge your autism while you practice, so you'll have to push through it using willpower, and if you are specially autistic you'll have to use willpower and burn through a bunch of "practice people" until you actually learn

there are also many pitfalls like people who try something, it works for them once despite it being retarded, like they get laid by acting like an ass towards a girl that happens to be retarded enough to fall for it, and then they get mentally stuck there even though that will only work for emotionally unstable women

What even is a manchild? Americans have such a bastardized view of maturity and adulthood I don't even know what it's meant to represent. For some reason yanks think they can fully self actualize through work alone.

...

Holy shit that font is as atrocious as the Japanese war crimes!

Plato forgot all he knew, even his name, except for the streets of his city, his soul. Everyone over the age of ten was kicked out of his republic (soul).

I don’t understand how that is an argument. You acknowledge that recollection is the goal, remembering something we once knew, but you say it’s not about retrieving that state of mind from our memory? What the fuck do you mean?

It's harder but not impossible. You have to go through yourself though, and that might be easier knowing a little bit of psychology. For me, it helps a lot being able to interpret my dreams, see what the other parts of my self have to say or tell me. I often discover new POV, opinions or facts I had about myself and that is greatly useful in building new ways to locte your problems and develop your life.

If anything, I'd suggest Freud'sInterpretation of dreams and Jung's Red Book, which is about re-discovering his true self during his midlife crisis. It's very visionary but it might be an example.

>inb4 frogposter

I've never read Freud or Jung, are they ok to start with?

>what’s Ludovico Ariosto

>What are the troubadours

>Romantic love is a modern phenomenon actually. 400 years old at best.

Well, I'm not a psychologist but yes, I started with them. Actually I'm re-starting as of now. I read the Interpretation when I was 17 or 18 and the following years were the most flourishing of my life. I stopped looking inside of my mind some time later and everything went shit (like, it felt shit), and basically abandoned the maturity I had reached. Now that I'm getting back to them I'm growing aware that it was because I stopped listening to my inner needs and so I sorta lost the compass in my life. Like, I went boating without a navigator, a helmsman and a captain, i.e. without most of the crew.

To me Freud and Jung are useful to find your crew, so yes, you can start with them.

>What is the song of songs

>durrr durrrrrrrr leftist propaganda rulez muh brain durrr
>also 400 years means it was invented by cishet capitalists to stop women from having anal orgasms and from making teenagers into trap cum sluts

28 year old manchildren do

fucking kek

idk, but Sartre's Being and Nothingness had a pretty big impact on my worldview, moreso than anything else I've read by far.

This may work for some, but other peoples feelings may even get stronger if they choose the way of quarantine, a friend of mine basically needed like 7 months to get over a girl because he somehow managed to increasingly add positive things about her in his mind and ended up with a completely different, perfect version of her. If that's the case, I would try to look out for another person who may fill that void she left, but you have to let it happen.

Man, I wish I could experience that unmatched joy followed by bittersweet pain at some point in my life, but I can't seem to fall in love at all and I'm 23. It feels like I only got a demo version of feelings, I never really got over the point of sympathy regarding my opinion of other people. Whatever, cry me a river, right?

I don't want to create a separate thread so ill just ask here
what books advocate for the responsible, mature, ethical lifestyle? stuff like "crato" or "either/or" - part 2
preferably novels

Posting on Veeky Forums makes you a manchild by default

>is the fake stuff ok
no user

>preferably novels
any bildungsroman, it's in the name

Literally the only thing you have to do to be considered an adult is have a job.

...

Who looks at their life at 28 and thinks ‘now it’s time to grow up’? This is something most do at 17-21.
You don’t give much information about you and manchild is a very broad term.
>How to be a responsible adult
In a society that treats you like a child
>would you like fries with that?
>is that all sir
>do this, don’t do that
Etc you need to take control, lead and be straight forward with people.
There’s not a book that’s going to help you grow up and getting sucked into self help books is pretty childish too.
How you bear yourself, what you wear and having a clean cut is important I think in looking like an adult. Complaining is childish too and no one likes a man who talks too much.
I don’t know, I’m 19 so bear that in mind.
Saged, dumb thread. Read Tolstoy kiddo, jk. Get your life together rather.

> know very few millennials who can afford their own home and have a good career
> they're all vegans who have beards, partake in photography and perform burlesque

Wish I was exaggerating. Not sure what type of world this really is. Maybe I need to stop talking to hipsters.

"love" is just an enticing smokescreen you put up to delude yourself
>the only way is to quarantine yourself from the person you're infatuated with
I think you need to distract yourself sufficiently at the same time. Now, "sufficiently distracting" will wary a great deal from case to case.
find, or construct, a tempting ideal that inspires to action. you need to work towards a new goal. realize that there's literally billions of women, there is no need to restrict yourself to just one even if it is the only thing that feels right. it's your life and you shouldn't let it wither just so you can remain true to an impossible conviction.

26 year old here
goddamn

No, it's just another distraction from doing what you know you need to do to get your shit together. Intellectual escapism is still escapism.

>Who looks at their life at 28 and thinks ‘now it’s time to grow up’? This is something most do at 17-21.

Boy are you going to be in for a shock, the vast overwhelming majority of humanity thinks exactly like that.