THE INTERNATIONAL OBFUSCATED QUOTATION CONTEST

A Veeky Forums equivalent of the International Obfuscated C Code Contest.
Post common quotations (I'm thinking opening lines, but whatever) rewritten as obscurely as possible.
People try to guess them. Fun is had.

When associating me with a short verbal identification-tag, I ask you to follow the example of the patriarch Abraham, tackling a similar problem with respect to his first-born son.

Moby Dick, pretty easy I guess.

What happened was a perfect demonstration of that supposedly-mythical, idealized phenomenon in which a single brief visual stimulus sweeps away all emotional reticence.

If we consider all closely consanguineous groups who have achieved emotional contentment, they will be found to have many qualities in common, whereas those lacking such contentment must be analyzed individually.

You, masked man, are an exceptionally large individual. I implore, if I were to remove your guise, would it greatly harm you?

when tf my mom die lol

Very good, except he says the second part first. So you're almost being SNEAKY.

At a point in history considerably before this narration, and furthermore, in a location considerably removed from us, even by the standards of interstellar travel...

Tolstoy
ez
wars star

It had come to the attention of the mob, mob being sown together by a universal banner of their temporality, that this rabble had the best and, with a surprisingly unserendipitous development toward the idea of the aforementioned, the worst

the course which a river shapes and follows through the landscape, located farther than the Church of the Immaculate Conception, with a course that includes the bend of the shore and the curve of the sea, leads a viewer along a comfortable village of repeated circulatory patterns that would return the viewer to a fortress on the northern peninsula and its surroundings

hahaha of course it's hard to make F W *more* confusing than it is already

"Will the person moving about indistinctly in my field of vision please identify himself?"
"Your request is declined; on the contrary, remain still and upright and give me that exact information."

today
or maybe yesterday?

ahhhhhh
i thought this was trolling
i just got it
i guess i'm just a stranger to your way of thinking

Eponymous object of adoration, metaphorical dispeller of darkness, fierce combustion impelling this author towards fecundity.

That vast expanse beginning where earth's atmosphere ends - the greatest and last of all circumscribing barriers against which we rebel.

Omelette

Fajita

Sehr gut.

I am certain to be an unknown quantity to you, unless you have harvested the intellectual fruits of one of my author's earlier works; but this will prove no barrier to your enjoying the following tale.