If a book can't tell it's story in less than 1,000 pages it isn't worth reading

If a book can't tell it's story in less than 1,000 pages it isn't worth reading

>my novel is 999 pages
Phew!

what if the story is a metanarrative about a guy who feels he has to write a 1000 page book to stop from killing hisself?

>my novel is 1001 pages

argh

What a strict criterion, you lovable radical!

what if i just shrink the font or make the pages bigger lol

Dude this thread is a joke. Why signal your heterosexuality like that and say what you would really do?

Why so serious? As my favorite character, the JOKER would say. It's my favorite character because he resembles me psychologically.

Learn to laugh. Learn to troll. Learn to play with your posts. This is Veeky Forums bitch, it's not ducking rebbit.

Welcome to the madhouse. Nothing is what it seems around here.

JUST

MFW @ Midnight with Chris Hardwick comes on TV.

Yikes!

If a post can’t distinguish between its and it’s then it’s not worth- oh wait...

lol because all books are about stories.

I honestly think it's the opposite.
Long term books are always a bigger joy to read for me, truly feels like I've gotten fully immersed in the world of the novel. Anything under 500 is too short for me.

PUBLISHERS GONNA FREAK!

>breaks his 1000 page novel up into two separate volumes

That's still one novel in the end, though.

No it's not. The second one is a sequel.

The lord of the rings is 1 novel divided into 3 volumes. Book of the new sun is 1 novel divided into 4 volumes.

t. intelligent, nihilstic and a wicked sense of humor

Lord of the Rings are 6 novels

>publisher forces novel to be split into 3 volumes
>gets published as one long novel afterwards, anyway

Book one ends. Book two picks up on a whole new scenario years later.
Example: The Three Muskeeters series.
All it takes is one counterexample to disprove your theory, which I have.

I agree. Pedro Páramo is the only novel worth reading

Yes, but I was talking about something written as one novel but then divided into two as said. Just because it got split doesn't mean it's two books, it's just one book that was divided up.

Who's to say my 1000 page novel doesn't cover two distinct time periods?

Then why is it written as one novel in the first place? There is no logical reason for this

For some reason I despise it when books are more than one volume long, I don't care about the page or word count, I just want it all to be in one book. I have the complete works of O. Henry in hardback and it's one volume with 1,700 pages, and it reads perfectly fine.

>he fell for the metric meme

...

>mfw he killed himself anyway
woopsie

OP here, after some time of thinking, I've realized the mistake of using pages over word count. Here's my revised statement: If a book can't tell it's story in less than 300,000 words it isn't worth reading

it did hold off the tendencies for a little while.

obvious solution: write even more 1,000+ pages books

My book is 299,307 words, but it now you dumb fuck

>but it now you dumb fuck
I think you're the dumb fuck

What if the book is 1,000 pages in hexadecimal, huh?

even if it was less than 1,000 pages, it's still overrated as hell.

War & Peace and LOTR are both amazing books and over 1000 pages

but what if the book has

i'd argue 500 pages is the real standard for "if you've passed this point you need to cut shit out"

>War&Peace and LOTR are both amazing books
I kind of want to see you fight a tiger barehanded

That seems a little short to me, I like epics.

These books are boring as shit, the fact that they're so fucking long is what makes them boring.