Veeky Forums how do you cope with being a big intellectual fish in a pond of brainlets growing up and then being btfo...

I've already realized that and it's depressing
I mean I actually scored highest on nearly every test at my high school, including AP, without putting in any work.

I guess what bums me out is the loss of identity.

Whats it like being a girl?
I wish I was born a cute girl desu

>loss of identity
You're not that stupid, if you've at least figured that out. There's not much more to be said except 'something something radical freedom'. Go out and forge your new and don't let any preconceived notions limit your choices. Time to fucking mature.

A bit frustrating at times.

Studying in my car in the CC parking lot once, I drifted off to sleep. Some guy tried the door handle and ran off because it was locked.

>The answer I did not want is probably right
Fuck. I'm 25 and I'm completely indecisive. I talk myself out of every serious pursuit because I find reasons why I won't be the best at it and I crave being the best. At this rate I'll end up having someone choose my path for me and I loathe that too. I'm a lazy piece of shit.

wew

There are so many people in this thread who can't read a whole sentence OP's ego's probably just shot through the roof.

How old are you?

Will you be my gf?

Man I feel sorry for OP everyone here literally can't read.

you know whats funny? I feel this way too, and sometimes I think "well at least I'm self aware" but even that isn't unique. I wish I could make myself feel allied with people like me (like you) but instead my instinct is to consider us opponents, or at odds because we're both trying to fit the same niche. I want to be the smartest dumb guy people know, and I also want to be the best at something. Being great seems to come naturally to others. Why the fuck is it so difficult to find a path to greatness in ourselves? I really hope I can find people like you and cooperate to achieve greatness in my lifetime.

>he's not smarter than others anymore.
I think by "btfo in your 20s" he means that he's a failure at life, not that he isn't intelligent compared to his peers.

Good point.

Sorry OP. I was going to respond with something else, but reread part of it and got all lost second guessing myself.

Keep learning, but learn to be gracious and humble too.

I detest education from kindergarten thru university. Not so much the idea of learning but the organization of the institutions. I come from a family of teachers and my fiance is a teacher. Frankly, I think they are saints for putting up with all the b.s. but I lack their patience and would be looking for an escape before tenure. Also, it's why I quit college after getting two associate degrees. I'm academically minded, but I can't stand academia so I quit while I was ahead (no loan debt)
Eh. It's Veeky Forums. I know where I be.
More advice would be nice, but ultimately I've got to make these decisions for myself. I was just in my feels this morning.

could you fucking leave please you attention whore?

I gave up on being great because it's simply too late--every person that becomes great at something A) starts young and B) spends their life practising. You can't just pick up a violin at 40 and become a virtuoso. Time limitations, "muscle memory" (try learning a language as an adult)... there are reasons why successful people start young and stick to their interests.

Sometimes a part of me still thinks I'm gonna make it. I started playing chess and my first train of thought was "what if I do nothing but this for the rest of my life" but I quickly realised I'm not going to be a grandmaster.

It sucks because the only thing I'm actually talented at and could become well-known for is programming but I feel like I've already wasted my teenage years and my 20s in front of a computing at a computer and my 15 minutes of fame wasn't satisfying in the slightest.

Im a drop out, I study for fun and am smarter than pretty much everyone I meet.

>160iq

Nice trips. I'm open to collabs but I've never found anyone who wants to collab with me. Honestly it's one of the biggest fuels to my "my own intelligence is a myth of my own hubris" fire.
It's both. But I've had some success at my current job, it just feels a bit hollow for various reasons.
I try to be gracious and humble, but I want recognition too. I don't think I'm the greatest or anything and I fully realize and accept that there are betters out there, but I still want recognition. I think I'd be more frustrated and angry rather than sad if I thought I DESERVED the recognition, but I don't deserve it. I just crave it.

Yeah, I get what you mean with realizing that "the greats" were already good, if not great, by their late teens. I'm sort of also realizing that I'll be a sort of "B" student at life for the rest of this trip. I wonder if it will get us anywhere comfy. At least we won't have the stress of maintaining an "A+" lifestyle?

But are you happy? I'm the same as far as dropping out and studying for fun. I've never taken an i.q. test that I know of.

I wanted to do so many things in my life and pretty much none of it has panned out. (Wanted to be a film director for one thing) but dreams for dreams sake are what I strive for now.
I've wanted recognition (though no fame) too. People start families to mean something to some people. Try and mean something to some people. Deserving people.

I'm still not sure if it's worth it to be honest. Imagine spending your whole life doing one thing. I don't even have to imagine, we can all think back to a time when we were obsessed with something and it consumed all our time. Would you live your entire life in that manner to be seen as the best? I quite like having had the time to take part in different activities, read a variety of topics, and the luxury of just taking some days off to do stupid shit like look at memes.

I've got family, a fiance even. Still feel listless.

I'm a certified genius clinically tested by a psychologist. I wouldn't know. I can tell you that intelligence isn't important. It's better than being smart to be humble, honest, reliable, friendly, and happy, and those are characteristics that most people can develop with the right beliefs and some work. Intelligence is a highly overrated characteristic in our society.

I too am an intelligent burnout with these exact thoughts and feelings. Comforting to know there are others. I pray we all figure it out.

For a certified genius that's a rather pithy observation.
At least you got programming and I'm assuming at least some nice money for it.
I was consumed with all things military, historical, and political but I've been talked out of joining so many times by so many people. But part of me still considers it a passion I just have never tackled all of the moral implications.

I look at people who have friends, girlfriends, wives, who feel like they're part of a community, laughing and having fun. Then I look at people who have done something impressive, they've invented a technology, discovered a molecule, developed a theory... I am way more envious of the latter group, and being in that group takes intelligence.

why aren't you getting along with new lit friends in real life? getting btfo is a chance to learn.

My economy of language is intentional. I despise people who try to impress others with language. It's incredibly tedious to listen to someone and realize that they could communicate the same meaning using a fraction of the words, but they're putting on a show. Those people come off as tryhards. While they might convince stupid people that they're intelligent, I've never met one who I'd consider a deep thinker. My reaction to such people is disgust. I conceal my intellect in everyday life.

I actually don't mind hanging out with smart people, but they are hard af to find. Even harder to get a group of them together for regular hang outs. I got a friend who's a STEM who has a gf in English grad school, but they are total pseuds. Like they would get memed for soyboy and feminist humanity student who's only canon author they like is Austen. I've read her writing and it's boring af with no depth and she's struggling to even find a decent subject and lens for her thesis and she's been at it for like a year and a half.

There is a difference between concise and vague and shallow. If you were as intelligent as you claim you'd know that.

Why don't work on that craving then? It puzzles me when people who seem smarter than most -like yourself- would analyze and deconstruct almost every aspect of their lives -most of the time leading them to misery- but won't dare get into specific parts of their psyche, like this craving of yours. Because as you put it, it seems you see this "craving" as a driving force in your life.

Why don't work on understanding the need you have for approval/recognition, your obvious self-esteem issues and so on. Once you get to the bottom of that you'll give two (2) fucks about such issues. I went through something very similar to what you have described and ended up realizing there's no point in being remotely smart if you're a depressed fellow.

I mean, if you can't get hold of your own thoughts and desires, and feel content about your own existence, what's the point of having all this intelligence? Don't fall for the smart people are inherently sad trope. Once you get out of all that mentality you'll realize there are a gazillion instances in life where you'll get recognized for being smart, and people would be thankful for having met you. You're just frustrated you can't get that one type of recognition you have conceptualized on your mind.

Sounds like you didn't get enough love as a child, so want to be admired instead. That isn't healthy.

If you were intelligent at all you'd know the definition of "pithy."

Wait a sec- striving for success is a product of some kind of childhood trauma? I doubt it, you couldn't apply that logic to everyone who's reached dominance in a pursuit and gained recognition. These people didn't just do it for the love of their profession I can tell you that much...

No. Not just striving for success. Eschewing all friendship, family, relationships, and belonging in favor of public esteem. Keep the goalpost where it is.

It's not approval per se. Recognition, yes. But I want to be the best at something because I'm very competitive (like purposefully try to injure opponents in h.s. football competitive), and the recognition I crave is only a reflection of winning or beating others. It's fucked up, I know. I don't even have like a crazy sports dad to blame. I played football for 12 years and he only supported it because I liked it. He didn't even like sports. I was born a competitive person, but I have no outlet. I think it's partly why I'm attracted to the military. War is the ultimate competition.

If you were a certified genius you'd understand sarcasm.

obligatory kys

Then look into why you're like that, unless you have some sort of medical condition, most aspects of your personality could be worked upon. You're seriously limiting your possibilities in life if you choose to think of yourself as a competitive person who has to act in a certain way to feel satisfied. I don't know if you care about happiness at all, but you'd have a difficult time finding it or any kind of rest if you need to compare yourself to and beat others in order to feel alive and well.

I was depressed for a while, then realised that this authentic sense of inferiority I now experience is exactly what I wanted growing up. An opportunity to have fallen behind meant I had to improve my life by own will or fall into a half-coma of lethargy.

I can't say for certain, OP, but maybe you're just realising how hard it is to incentivise yourself without it depending on automatic approval from others (I mean yeah that's what you already stated).

It would be easier to discern your ennuit if I knew what you went to university for

not him but can you not see that seeking dominance is a human characteristics and it brings many people happiness? that's why we're so competitive, that's why enjoy winning, that's why we want to be the best even as children.

Not literature

No. You misused the word. I thought you probably misused it, being unaware of the "expressive" component of the denotation while only knowing the "terse" part, when I composed my reply, but I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. Trying to save face now by claiming irony is just dishonest. You would have used another word like "extravagant" if that had been your intent. You just didn't know what pithy means. See what I mean about tryhards?

Idk you'd be surprised how many people like reading if you just express your interest in the stuff. Met somebody recently who'd read all the DH Lawrence stuff that I'm just getting into. What's a soyboy? Idk what you're talking about in the second part of you're sentence.

I can see that obviously, I was a child once, I take pleasure on that as well, it's pretty fun, but there's nothing much beyond that. Once you get what you craved you'll crave another thing, and another. Getting carried away by such feelings and thinking life is only meaningful when you accomplish your current goal is silly.

Was feeling empathy until I read military

christ

I mean I've always been like this. Either win or rage quit. I didn't play football my senior year, not because I wouldn't have played I started 3 ways frosh and j.v. and was the only junior to start varsity, but because our team as a unit was ass and I knew we weren't going to win shit. I'd rather be a role player who comes in, gives a starter some rest and performs admirably on a team that wins state then be a three way starter on a team with a losing record. I've tried for 7 years now to be happy without competition but it hasn't been sustainable, the happiness comes and goes.

Soyboy is like nu male. Or hipster. It's a Veeky Forums meme. I don't use it irl.
This is what I mean. People say bootlicker etc. Or moralistic people call you a murderer etc. But I crave drastic conflict, drastic competition, drastic winning. I feel I need an outlet for this that is bigger than a hobby because my intensity is too much for people just trying to have fun in pick up basketball or flag football. I have to check my intensity a great deal to participate in that sort of thing. Maybe it has something to do with the stakes too, I mean I can't write a paper until about to trip over the deadline.

You'll get used to it and then find it liberating to not be special.

Learn to enjoy the supermarket and get comfy in your grey anonymity and read books about the gentle sadness of daily life and drink cups of tea and maybe try to roast some chicken in the oven you never used before and have a calm wank on the couch with your trackpants around your ankles and later look out the window of your little flat holding a can of lager with the sounds of political debates on the telly in the background.

Kinda do all that already. Except my oven is well used and I can cook like a motherfucker. Political debates have become a bit masturbatory to me because there is an intelligence deep state and we have no fucking clue what's going on so why argue about stupid shit.

ooooooh my
Yeah you're a lot stupider than you think

>War is the ultimate competition.
Yes, between scientists. The grunts are generic.

War isn't a fucking competition, it's the result of failures in communication and economic strife. Seeing it as a competition is disgustingly romantic, I worries me the amount of media you might indulge in. Being "good at war" sounds like a rabid dog that feels in control because all it can do is resort to violence. If you really are so standoffish about wartime and want competition, now about politics? The cuban missile crisis was solved with an agreement on punctual landlines.

Yeah probably. I never claimed genius. I got 4's on a.p. tests without applying effort, but I'm sure millions of people have done the same. What part of brainlet pond did you not get? That said I really don't understand contempt for the military.

I second the motion.

Read l'Etranger and become Meursault irl.

You sound a bit like those girls who like drama in their relationships otherwise they won't feel loved. People like that seem unable to appreciate life itself and want something "greater" and more "dramatic" out of it, turns out there isn't such thing. I don't know if literature or movies are to blame for that. Just look at all the depressed or cunty artists and entrepreneurs who didn't find the golden pot at the end of their quest.

I like this life

>Scientists
Yeah and strategists. I have considered the grunts are bullet fodder angle. My plan would be to join, complete the second half of my 4 year degree while the military pays for it, and then officer academy.
War is a tool of politics to be used when things have come to an unsustainable impasse. It's usually a fault of both parties, but often one is to blame more than the other and sometimes solely. The act of combat though is the competition of survival, the most dangerous game. M.A.A.D. wouldn't exist without two strong militaries to counterbalance each other. I do enjoy politics, it would probably be a post military career option.

Will research.
I do admit I find myself often pining for a grand adventure of some type. I love stable relationships tho. I haven't figured out how to reconcile that entirely either.

You haven't read Camus yet? That's like entry normie level girl with cursive text tattoo tier babby first lit.

Follow up with Nausea, Journey to the End of the Night and Elementary Particles. French do dreary normality best.

No. The only French author I've read is Voltaire and it was Candide. I've been trying to live a life of bucolic banality up to this point and it isn't working.

Realize that potential/intelligence is 100% worthless until you use it for something. Oh, you're the smartest fry cook McDonald's has ever hired? Congrats, now I'd like to order 2 McChickens and small fries.

If you really are smart, go to school, get a degree that has actual earning potential, and make some money. Or learn how to weld and do that.

Are you the old butterfly? Are you the one who's been here for at least 3 or 4 years?

What happened to Feminister?

and REI?

I miss old Veeky Forums

>fake and gay

I can weld, work on cars , and do other stuff with my hands. It's not that I have no skills that could make me money. I just want to enjoy what I do too, ya know? Making small circles with my wrist while maintaining a ¼ inch distance from rod to metal just doesn't do it for me.

It's comfy desu

It's a man btw

Aren't we all?

I'm a woman, actually. I pretend I'm a man to be treated like an equal on these sexist, misogynistic boards. Uncomfortable in public, uncomfortable with the attention my sex appeal draws, I withdraw to male or androgynous personae online while lounging naked in a dark room, alone with my books and gigantic, bare breasts. You see, I loathe clothing, yet wear clothing as close to a burka as it comes without being gaudy or standoutish.

But I hate being treated differently on account of gross physical traits, like a perfectly waxed, tight pussy, like an ass I've forged to perfect shape through years of squats, like my perky-but-plump tits. So you'd never know I'm a woman. But I'm a woman.

And I read Kafka. I read Hegel and Deleuze. I recently started on Debord and Sartre and Baudrillard. I talk like you men. I can keep up. You'd never know my clit pokes out just enough to keep me near-constantly aroused, my slender form tapers from soft shoulders to curved middle, out into hips shaped to grab. And I'm young. I'm 19. You're all a bunch of dumb tools to me.

But you'd never know.

That I'm a girl.

You'd never know.

Me the whole time. Don't come by but for a day every couple of months or so.
Yeah, I miss some parts of it too.

Business Management 1. Must have been a wet spring because I can still smell the old cars humidity and looking out the rain streaked windows to see what the hell that was that woke me. Too out of it to be afraid at first but once I woke up my adrenaline shot through my body. Once the shakes stopped I went to a Subway for something to eat and be in a more public space.

46 now.

HAHAHA

There be fuckery and douchbaggery afoot. Note: pic related.

If this is what certified geniuses are like then I'm glad I ain't one. Jesus Christ.

>fighting against the sea of stupid
>being an anarchist

pick one

write like a grill
trip fags have to leave

What does a girl write like?

If my hands are soft, is my language, too?

Can you imagine my lips wrapped around each word as my tongue pushes it out. I gasp a little with each . , an intake, a little lust, before ahhhhhh, I exhale a phrase

right

against

your

ear.

My cheek can brush yours. A breast on your arm, lightly. Is she flirting with me? Do I do anything?

Do you feel flush? Pink, maybe?

Why don't you write like a man, and not some internet pimple bitch?

oh shit i misread you and i forgot my trip

uh

WHUM

Tsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Lmao at ur life.

Did You get patted on the head your whole life and majored in underwater womens studies or something?

>attention seeking homosexual
why do you feel the need to attract unnecessary attention to yourself for your nature rather than your intellectual properties or works? what is it that says to you “i do not need to be intelligent, i do not need to be strong or composed, my presence and its affects are what I seek to influence others with, i have no ground to cover, i will dissipate as scenery, as effect, as element of my environment but i will not play architect nor conqueror of my environment” do you think you might be biologically inferior? do you think you might be a parasite perhaps? just curious, its interesting to me, how homosexuals and women’s first reaction is to wag their genitals in someone’s face when told to leave a space for being stupid and obnoxious. I don’t mean figuratively, i mean you literally immediately defaulted to talking about your feminine features and homosexuals do this too talking about how they’re really secretly desirable. Its just all so funny to me, you behave like an animal, exactly how a cat does when its scared and it puffs itself up, makes a great deal of noise and tries to mimic something or influence the senses of something instead of fighting it to the death. What would you do if I just annihilated your sense of self and your whole value as a human? If i were to say: you are going to be automated out of existence, you began as servile appertures for producing more males and we’ll be rid of you in the similar manner by imitating your wombs, your only valuable function. We don’t need you for civilization or pleasure, we can simulate the feautures we like and genocide the rest of you. How do you respond besides resorting to teasing?

>tfw big fish in middle school
>btfo once I transfered to a magnet HS and once again in good research uni
>become incredibly insecure and hypercompetitive since I'm never good enough
>get into grad school for niche STEM subject
>biggest fish once again
feels good mane

I like being the big fish OP. People say a lot of bullshit about stimulating your mind by being around smarter people, but I'll take being the smartest person in a field of dumbshits any time. It's good for your self esteem.

>affect Is trivial, effect minimal
>responds in an angry paragraph showing neither intellectual prowess nor mastery of the terra

Sweetheart, please

lol owned

>overestimates because he's average

>I'm a lazy piece of shit.
>Being great seems to come naturally to others. Why the fuck is it so difficult to find a path to greatness in ourselves?

Yup. Grow up, anons. Being the best takes work and dedication. You aren't perfect and the road to riches is riddled with potholes and speed bumps. The fact of the matter is if you don't make a decision now, you will forever remain standing still.

>It sucks because the only thing I'm actually talented at and could become well-known for is programming

why the fuck are you equating greatness with fame? Achieve greatness on your own terms.

>excelling in my professional field and feeling secure for the first time in my life intellectually and materially
>still don't have the self confidence to ask out or flirt with a girl even if she's nowhere near my level of socially defined success

Anyone else know these feels?

Being able to see through anyone's bullshit and best them in debate isn't a skill I display in everyday life. I cut most people slack, since most people deserve it. I reserve this talent for when people are unreasonably aggressive, for important professional matters, for when money is at stake, and for blowing off steam on Veeky Forums.

>gotta steer clear of the actual combat
>i'm so smart and noble look at how I carry myself heehee let me tell you more about me heehee
n-n-niiiiiiiiiiiigger

honey, I don't know if you know this, but the essence of things is all that's real. your exterior is just the expression of code, of things you can't see or touch or sell (yet) to people. Your affect, that you resort to because you have no accomplishments or organic value to Men is what gets you through life and without this affecting of states and presentations for others you'd be basically homeless or dead.
>Effect
Yes being dictated by one's environment or social sphere is despicable and low. Its the behavior of one who is secondary, who takes cues from superiors. That you always need to take cues from males shows that you are secondary in nature to us. You are always following our tracks, our scent, our winnings, our beauty and our strength. Without strong, and most importantly resourceful males to teach you everything you know, to create the world for you to waltz through, you'd be dead or property or nonexistent as a legal entity.
>babble
FEAR is what drives you, and you're afraid of me