What is the essential pretentious hipster garbage books I can pretend to read to impress cute girls?

What is the essential pretentious hipster garbage books I can pretend to read to impress cute girls?

Critique of Pure Reason.

a 2nd hand dostoevsky anthology

I hit on a German girl at a club by talking to her about Kant. We made out and grinded to salacious nigger tunes on the dance floor. True story.

Simone de Beauvoir The Second Sex

I was not meming. The hottest girl in our year was a phihead. One time she got into a super-excited conversation about the relationship between mind and matter or something and started talking about Kant. I am about 70% sure having read Kant would have got me laid that evening.

You read what you like, you see as you do, you pretend to read the book, as open as you. You try to impress, by reading a book, but nothing is as open as you as the book. Your words carry with them the flies, that are in your mind, you can try to supress, but you cannot unwind. It is not essential, to be that confidential, but to be busted like that, is unpresidential.

If she was a pinhead all you head to do was namedrop him and mention whatever scant details you know. The girl I talked to didin't know shit about Kant.

Murakami

The nix
A little life
Infinite jest
Lincoln in the bardo
Oscar wilde
Bronte sisters
Harry potter
Rupi kaur
All the light we cant see
What happened

I'm sorry, user. If she's American she probably wouldn't have been impressed anyway. European girls get wet for smooth intellectuals, try your luck over on the continent.

John green

The Picture of Dorian Gray
The Analyst

My professor likes me because I've read Joyce and she's a girl

>tries to impress girl by forcing art on her
>niggawhatudoin

It doesn't really matter what you recommend as long as what you talk about is something you are actually passionate about. I once hanged out at a party flirting with a girl who was talking about rocks for like half an hour because she was a geology major. I couldn't give less of a fuck about rocks, but she was so passionate that it was cute still, because she was so passionate about it.

Personally I often recommend Huxley's the Island, Orwell's Homage to Catalonia and some of the Strugatsky brothers novels, especially roadside picnic.

Sometimes some Dostoyevsky

>The Picture of Dorian Gray

I think it works better for gay people. That book is gay as fuck, in a good way though

Unironically this.

Why would cute girls be impressed by books?

Murakami
Any Russian
Austen
Wilde
Hesse

tfw read way more murakami than i probably should have but still no hipster gf

American girls wouldn't be, but Euro girls find it hot. I feel sorry for burgers.

This. When I bought Norwegian Wood in a bookstore the qt cashier started talking really enthusiastically to me about it.

Hemmingway

Oh and vonnegut

why do i never see attractive people in bookstores

last time i even had an interaction with someone in a bookstore it was to help some old lady get a copy of Neuromancer off the top shelf

What did you say about Kant?

Really? Where I live most of the workers in bookstores are young women, a lot of them are cute.

>tfw cracked jokes about some dude looking like a hasidic yid to some chick in the club and got laid that night

Life is strange sometimes

i might be going at the wrong times, i'm a college student so i just go in the afternoon on weekdays when it's mostly old people and people who have irregular work hours

old lady with good taste

user, this. Except you should already be over Critique of Pure Reason if you're anything above high school. The Metaphysics of Morals worked wonders for me.

>Any Russian

What a pleb

literally any book

Proust is a certain bet

Eh.... you could try
HOW TO FUCK YOURSELF AND DIE; a scathing rant on the hipster vermin of today and the skidmark they leave on society.
Great book man.

this and john fowles

Nothing makes the females moist like a talking about the end to Blood Meridian. Try this, bitches are low-key sluts for McCarthy - no exaggeration.

fuck off, Fowles is interesting and talented, this thread is about HIPSTER GARBAGE.

Being and Nothingness.
Be sure not to actually read it, just let it be the largest book on a cluttered bookshelf. That'll impress your guests.

DFW short stories for leftwing

Plato's Symposium for rightwing

I only read BAN when Im really drunk and I talk out loud to myself about how dumb it is, as though Im giving commentary on a talk show or something

What's the deal with Symposium?

>he thinks women are interested in guys who read books

Pretty much anything
Most girls I know don't read anything, and if they do it's Young Adult shit or Self Help books

Can confirm. My sister only reads this kind of garbage

I was on a flight a couple years ago ago, sitting across the aisle from a husband, wife, and their teenage daughter. The girl was cute, blonde, slender, wore glasses, probably 14-15. She was reading a book on mythology. I noticed she also had a copy of the Odyssey in her bag. She seemed very engaged in the book.
She said something to her mom - who noticeable had breast implants - about what she was reading a couple of times - each time her mom rolled her eyes and muttered a monosyllabic response before getting back to her movie.
Only time I've ever seen a female engaged in reading something that isn't popular fiction, outside of literature classes. Wonder if she's still interested now or succumbed to being a brainless bimbo like her mom.

the only thing that impresses girls is physical appearance, so a book about dieting and working out.

Money>confidence=physical appearance>intelligence

see
If either of you were intelligent you would be working out and making some money, judging from your responses I'm guessing you guys need to start working on these.

Working out is for manlets. Unironically. I'm 6'2", haven't gone to a gym in years. I've been asked what my "workout routine" is. Genetics are a wonderful thing.

wow you're so cool man haha

What chinese cartoon is this?

a book about ontogenetics and molecular psychiatry would be better

i already forgot the title, something about a girl looking for a disappearing island with her seaplane

>waiting at shitty community college for class to open
>reading Dharma Bums
>pretty meh
>solid 7 girl sits down next to me
>asks me how I like it
>fight through dry mouth, manage to rein in spaghetti
>class opens she chooses seat next to me
>asks me for help with homework after class
>sack up, ask her if she wanted to get dinner, find out more about each other
>has a bf
>still cool girl talk about stuff still agree to take class together next semester
>fast forward 3-4 months
>about to hop in car for class
>she calls in hysterics, bf got arrested
>assure her I will take notes for her
>towards end of semester she is close to dumping bf
>don't need to take another class together
>don't call her after final
>let it slip away