Be me

>be me
>be an ugly beta 27 year old
>wake up at 9 am
>read brideshead revisited for 3 hours and feel sad I didn't go to Oxford or have friends at university
>feel like a consumerwhore for reading instead of creating
>go to gym (felt weak due to coffee affecting sleep)- Staceys everywhere, awful pop music everywhere celebrating Chads and Staceys
>go to full time job
>leave work after 10 minutes because I have nothing to do- realise I am unhappy during what should be my prime
>realise that when I stayed at the office 9-5 my life was gone
>go to drink coffee in central London and browse Veeky Forums and feel sad about my life
>will probably binge on junk food when I get home due to the demoralisation of seeing Staceys who consider me an ugly subhuman

>struggling to think of a good life philosophy- endlessly agonise over means and ends
>constantly scolding myself for not focusing on one thing, focusing on many things, waking up early, working late at night etc.
>having schedules or detailed plans or routines
>know that this is stupid but it won't stop torturing me

>will spend the Friday night either reading, or, if I can summon the willpower, learning maths / programming because I feel like I have to
>did well in education but procrastinate learning stuff or any productive hobbies because I feel like an IQ fatalist (or it's how I justify laziness to myself)

serves you right for being nonwhite in europe

fuuuuuuck off londonposter this isn't your blog site and you never have anything intelligent or even interesting to say. take that shit to /britfeel/ threads in please

wow this modernist novel idea sounds great op, go ahead and write it

>be ugly
so smile
>feel like a consumerwhore
so create
>celebrating chads and staceys
celebrate with them
>realize i am unhappy
realize you are happy
>central london and browse Veeky Forums
do not do this
>binge on junk food
eat, do not binge
>demoralisation of seeing staceys who consider me an ugly subhuman
stop categorizing
>struggling to think of a good life philosophy
struggle less while you think
>constantly scolding myself for not focusing
stop scolding, focus
>know that this is stupid/torture
break the pattern
>if i can summon the willpower
you can summon the willpower
>IQ fatalist
I believe this is the root of your problem. IQ is nothing but pattern recognition and processing speed. Just look at the people that make up high IQ societies. They are just as annoying as you.

read more poetry. enjoy more art.

Did she ever come back?

I am sceptical of the recent "No, IQ really is relevant" ideas as well but it still kills my motivation

Honestly Oxford is nothing special. A bunch of elitist assholes who think their are too good to read genre fiction.

yah she just posted a channel update about why she took down the milo video and what she is working on

well, if you let it, you let it

I would recommend thinking that you are too good for something

>tfw i used no notice patterns in everything all the time but since I started treating my mental illness that didnt allow me to function all of that is gone
Is probably a combination of pills not allowing certain neuron path ways and depression having killed big part of my brain
jdimsa

Is Londonfrog really nonwhite?

get therapy !

>if you are not a turbo normie sheep you are ill!
Dont waste your time with that crap op

Bump

Good bait.

yeah pills mess up your pattern recognition

i like that you put variations on this gay incel bait story

>went to Oxford
>loved Brideshead
>lived that life, drinking and balls and societies and drugs
>realise I read nothing and made nothing whilst I was there
>realise the friends I made were shallow upper-middle class assholes
>wish I'd gone to a normal university where I hadn't bought into the Brideshead meme

OP here. I binged on Ben and Jerry's, crisps, chocolate, a supermarket sandwich, and pepsi max when I got home.

But I am optimistic because I no longer feel like I have to do some stuff (not based on external pressure, just my fucked up mentality and fear of pseud persecution) so I have saved myself time in the future. I will reward myself by lying in bed and reading today.

Source?

>feel sad I didn't go to Oxford or have friends at university
Ah yes, the ancient and illustrious University of Oxford.