Could you recommend me some authors that deal with the matter of how ridiculous modern life is...

Is the pursuit of knowledge hedonistic? No
Scientific discoveries are also not fueled by hedonistic desires but instead for pursuit of knowledge and bettering the world

>Hedonism

Toss a nickle into a bookstore and walk out with whatever it hits. Chances are you'll get exactly what you want.

And why do people want to better the world, user?

To ensure humanity doesn't kick the bucket

>not by hedonistic desires
>but for bettering the world

have you been out of your house since you were born? The world is a shithole

>t. "depressed" first world young adult
We unironically need firing squads for people like you.

you would do me a favor, I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. Any afterlife must be better than this hell

>pursuit of knowledge and bettering the world
>still living in juvenile enlightenment fantasies

Lost Connections : Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - And the Unexpected Solutions

you know what would sort you out nicely. military youth camps with serious racist overtones

That doesn't sound very hedonistic

What thoughts I have of you tonight, Walt Whitman, for I walked down the sidestreets under the trees with a headache self-conscious looking at the full moon.
In my hungry fatigue, and shopping for images, I went into the neon fruit supermarket, dreaming of your enumerations!
What peaches and what penumbras! Whole families shopping at night! Aisles full of husbands! Wives in the avocados, babies in the tomatoes!—and you, García Lorca, what were you doing down by the watermelons?

I saw you, Walt Whitman, childless, lonely old grubber, poking among the meats in the refrigerator and eyeing the grocery boys.
I heard you asking questions of each: Who killed the pork chops? What price bananas? Are you my Angel?
I wandered in and out of the brilliant stacks of cans following you, and followed in my imagination by the store detective.
We strode down the open corridors together in our solitary fancy tasting artichokes, possessing every frozen delicacy, and never passing the cashier.

Where are we going, Walt Whitman? The doors close in a hour. Which way does your beard point tonight?
(I touch your book and dream of our odyssey in the supermarket and feel absurd.)
Will we walk all night through solitary streets? The trees add shade to shade, lights out in the houses, we’ll both be lonely.
Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent cottage?
Ah, dear father, graybeard, lonely old courage-teacher, what America did you have when Charon quit poling his ferry and you got out on a smoking bank and stood watching the boat disappear on the black waters of Lethe?

Yeah it's too bad we can't go back to drinking and fighting and rumination like the last 1000 years.

>drinking and fighting and rumination
some of us are still on that stage

>We
We who? Speak for yourself, philistine

Don DeLillo's White Noise deals with consumerism and supermarkets.

>productive
Insect Chinese or German, only one of those is good, I'll let you decide.

...

you could try Bukowski if you haven't already

Reading Death of Ivan Ilyich rn, probably in line with what you're looking for. It's not strictly modern but the issues are the same.

Rene guenon

>I'm 16 and I've had my first epiphany about life: the thread

OP I have exactly what you're looking for. The Elementary Particles by Houellebecq deals with these themes on an amazingly brilliant level.
"I don't like this world. I definitely do not like it. The society in which I live disgusts
me; advertising sickens me; computers make me puke.”

bible

everything of dfw

This, the Russians knew everything.
Don't read degenerate util. anglos

The unabomber manifesto