Admit Literary Atrocities You Have Done

I read the abridged version of The Count of Monte Cristo.
I bought a Folio edition of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and a Folio edition of the Collected works of Nathaniel Hawthorne

I think Rupi's newest book is a vast improvement on Milk And Honey and I think she has the potential to lift worthwhile poetry out of the recessions of obscurity.

It's okay--I gave up on Monte C about 3/7ths the way through. It is a long ass book and the pacing was unbearable for me (I might be wrong though)

Absolutely disgusting.

i wrote a cyberpunk treatment of a chapter of Jane Austen's "Persuasion" to get into a writing course, because i knew the head of the department was into Jane Austen.

> yes, i got in

I want to hear more about this plz user

But that’s the best part

People like you should be sent to camps

Bryan Garner, DFW's friend and arguable the foremost grammarian/usage expert on English, believe that footnotes should never contain any useful information and should be used exclusively for providing brief citations. If it's worth saying, it's worth saying in the text. He has been on a crusade over it in the legal community for years.

Just though Veeky Forums mind find that interesting since DFW is so big here.

I don't care at all for postmodern lit

I have never read a book.

I genuinely find anything written before the 1900's to be astonishingly boring. I except from this religious texts, but most of the rest is like literary Ambien.

ur prob just 2dumb

that totally understandable. back in the day, authors were paid by the page so they wrote ridiculously long books. Greedy fuckers

I get hatred of Wallace and Pynchon, but I don't understand the hate for DeLillo Roth or Updike

jesus fuck. no wonder i felt there was something off about overlong books

This is the reason I can't stand Charles Dickens and his ilk. They're fine writers, but fucking hell. It never justifies their length.

I list audiobooks
as "read" on
my goodreads

I only read
from audiobooks.

I do not know how to read or write.

I am incapable of listening to audiobooks. I just phase out and never pay attention. It also robs me of the chance to look at the actual words in the page. I don't knock on ya for reading audiobooks though. Its just another form of consuming media, especially if you're strapped for time.

Can't even spell bok

I read Les Miserables in a crappy English translation despite knowing French, now I don't feel like reading it again

I can't read Blood Meridian
It's just so fucking boring and I have to sit an reread the sentences because the faggot refuses to use punctuation

I used semen and little bits of roast beef to stick together pages in all the William S. Burroughs books at my library.

it's what he would have wanted.

...

Everytime I try to read all quiet on the western front I fall asleep and forget where I was so I start from the beginning. I’ve been doing this for 5 years

Pretty apt if you think about it

I was sending half-nudes to my friend and got pre cum on Das Kapital (which was shielding my cock).

You two should team up to fight crime.

Didn't start with the greeks.

I used several Bible pages to roll joints when I was a teenager.

I came into the bible.

i had a harder time reading been down so long than i did with gravitys rainbow

I skipped the poem

Chapter Nine

Anne's diary service reminded her of an appointment to meet with Miss
Smith; tomorrow, eleven am. Which was a relief. She knew that Elliot would
be most likely to hit her security system around then, and she didn't want
to be around for the ensuing explosion when he stumbled across the traps
she'd left. She sat back on her fold-out bed and thought about the mess
they'd made of their lives; competing in a corporate war that would be over
as soon as one side got whoever it was they were trying to head-hunt. It
was sad, really; they were very much alike, and she couldn't help but find
his attention flattering. It was just a shame that he felt it necessary to
kill her to stop her from gaining the advantage. She believed that they
could have been close friends, even lovers, under other circumstances. Then
again, perhaps not; perhaps they were too much alike.

Her thoughts about what could have been between them seemed to hover around
her like a shield; the ordinary street trash gave her a wide berth as she
made her way from the Camden underground to Westgate. Then again, it could
have been the inwards-turned stare she presented; they probably imagined
that she was dusted... if only Wentworth hadn't shown up again, after all
those years! No point in pretending; he was a painful reality. No point in
even considering it; she had to work with him. They were an extraction
team; imagining what might have been would only slow them down, give the
advantage to the other side.

Smith's door was, as usual, deadlocked five ways from Sunday, even though
they had an appointment. Anyone who lived in Westgate would do the same.
After identifying herself, Anne was admitted to the tiny one-room
apartment, where she gave an account of last night's concert.

"I heard about the Durands," Smith said. "and the Ibbotsons were lurking
around there somewhere as well."

"I wasn't watching them," Anne confessed.

Smith smiled wryly. "I can imagine. Doing liaison work with Wentworth,
hey?"

Anne turned her head away sharply. "We're an extraction team, you idiot. We
have to be coordinated. We all have to know exactly how the others will
react. There's no time to ask questions in the middle of an operation."

Smith's smile warmed somewhat. "It was nice of you to come, anyway." Anne
was still on the defensive about her insinuation when Smith continued in a
more serious tone, "Oh, have you mentioned me to Elliot at all?"

Anne blinked. "You? Elliot? No... why would I? Do you know him?"
Smith's smile darkened somewhat. "Oh, I know him, all right."

Anne smiled. "If I'd known, we could have swapped old war stories." Her
smile faded when she saw the look on Smith's face. "What do you know about
him?"

-

Smith stared at her for what seemed to be an uncomfortably long time. "It's
probably nothing. It depends. Are you working with him?"

Anne laughed sarcastically. "Against, more like. We're both on the Wallis /
Lyme Genetech Extraction. We've got minimal exchange contracts.. we each
get enough information on the others' moves so we don't plan an all-out
assault on the same night, but apart from that, it's pretty cut-throat."

Smith was lost in reflection for a few moments, staring off into space,
then murmured, "Ah, it's probably nothing. That sounds like the way he
works. Yeah."

Anne's smile vanished. "Come on. Spill it."

Smith grinned in an entirely artificial way. "No, really! Next time you
hear from him, mention the Benemekada Consortium, in the West Indies. He
plays by the rules, he does, our Mr Elliot." Her voice dripped with
sarcasm. "All completely by the rules."

Anne waited until Smith felt she could continue. "Rooke - my dealer - has a
data feed at the Marlborough Open Systems, and heard a rumour there that
you were working against him. She told me all about it."

Anne gave a single, deprecatory laugh. "There isn't that much to know."
Another uncomfortable pause. "So. How are you and Mr Elliot acquainted?
Should I tell him about how we - "

"Christ, no! Look... I needed to know how closely you were working with
him. I'll give it to you simple. He's only in this for one thing: money. He
doesn't want a reputation, he doesn't want a secure place with a Zaibatsu;
he'd sell out to anyone he could. I heard, one time, he switched allegiance
four times during an op, because he was offered more money. He was the only
person to walk out of that deal alive. Even the guy they were snatching got
it. You haven't dared turn your back on him so far?" Anne shook her head.
"Good deal. You'll live longer that way."

"I trust you can prove this?"

-

Smith gave that wry half-smile again, produced a message wafer and slotted
it into a reader. Anne scanned the text as it appeared in the air before
them; details of an extraction from an East Indies company in Benemekada,
three years ago. Smith and Elliot had been part of the extraction team
then. There was a four-minute segment of video from someone's
shoulder-mounted camera; Anne could just make out Elliot's features
attached to a dark-clad body which held a minigun. And the minigun didn't
seem particular about who it was firing lead-jacketed rounds at - security,
the extraction team, or the poor bastard they were after.

"Three of us made it out of that fiasco," Smith muttered. "All of my
capital was tied up in it. I haven't worked in the business since - no-one
will touch me, because of him. Oh, yeah. Check this one out." She displayed
another record from the same wafer; email from Elliot to Smith's boyfriend,
Charles. Anne had heard that he'd been killed during an op.

Charlie, your generosity astounds me yet again, and I
thank you for the offer, but I'm in work at the moment,
so, thanks but no thanks. Although I'll be rid of that
old fart Walter Elliot any day now. I've been right
through the Kellynch system and sucked all the useful
data out of it, so if I ever get the chance, I can bring
them down "in one swell foop", as they say. They'll be
hit so hard, there won't be a piece you couldn't fit in
your mouth when I'm finished with them. Jeez, it galls
me that I have the same surname as that senile relic -
just call me WM from now on. Ciao.

Anne stared at this for a long time. "That's my father he's talking about,"
she said slowly. "And from the date on that email, that was when he first
offered me work. He was going to use me to crash my own family's data
haven. Jesus."

"Who better?" Smith asked gently. "Who else knew the systems at Kellynch
better than you?"

"But he can't have expected me to - my own family..."

"He probably wasn't going to tell you until it was too late."

Anne shook her head, marvelling. "That son of a bitch."
btw i got away with it

In school when I had to read one of the classics I just went with a summary and brief outline of the themes, and that was enough to cruise through most classes

I played Dante's Inferno on the PS3 instead of reading the Divine Comedy, then I summarized the game and got an A for it.