How to write comedy?

I'm a serious motherfucker that has no funny bones available.
What are the best books on how to write the funnies?

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Just do what every other talentless hack does and write terrible satire.

The vagina is on the inside.

I don't understand people who claim not to have a sense of humour, or to be able to write funny stuff.

Personally I'm rather ashamed of the fact that my first instinct is to make something funny. I feel like I'm cheapening my work or simply begging for approval / cheap attention, rather than being serious and risking being boring for the sake of writing something genuine.

Why not just make something serious with the occasional humor. See: Gaddis

Comedy is significantly more difficult to write than drama. If you succeed, the reader gets a chuckle, but if you fail (which is very easy to do), it lands with a resounding thud and scars the whole work.
For the most part, you can't teach comedy - which works out fine, because your own original brand of silly is probably better than whatever a "How to Funny" hack can come up with. Just write something you think is funny. If it's still funny after 2+ weeks, you're good. In the highly likely event it's not funny, keep reading it over to see WHY it's not. Maybe it's the timing, maybe it's the word usage. Good comedy is extremely fickle.

>go to piratebay
>write "comedy" and select "e-books"
>read what's there

>go to youtube
>search for "comedy 101" or something like that
>watch those

The theory is not that complicated, you'll learn what makes things funny and the random formulas of doing it. Now, if you're one of those persons who can't come up naturally with witty things at all (sadly, they exist), then I'm not so sure if the theoretical stuff could help.

>boring
>genuine
u wot m8?

screencap all the post that make you laugh and study them

Comedic talent is a specialized skill, and one that relatively few people have, or at least to any notable extent. In the past (this is a generalization I know, but I think it's somewhat accurate) humor was handled accordingly, with "wit" being regarded as a talent, and humor was understood to only be appropriate under some circumstances. Plenty of people weren't funny, but they knew that and everyone understood that humor is one of many desirable traits one can have, and is not essential.
However, the invention of social media has distorted humor's role in the public domain. Every individual is now expected to become a producer of content. Notice how Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and Youtube all have little or no technical differences between personal accounts (target audience are individuals known personally outside of social media) and public accounts (target audience are individuals who do not know you personally) and every private account can easily become a public content producer without changing "modes."
Accounts run by people with good senses of humor naturally rose in popularity, and their content became dispersed across the platforms. Overtime, this led to comedy and quality becoming equated in the mind of the general public, and emulating the humor became highly incentivized.
Everyone is now expected to be funny, and not being funny is considered a personal failure to meet a standard
This directly led to the leak of meme culture out of small communities where they were partially serving as indicators of group identity, into the mainstream. Memes, particularly the ones majorly popular now, are templates to be filled. We are outsourcing comedic talent to the producers of those templates, because conceptualizing a structure within a joke can be made is a big part of comedic talent. Some templates have even transcended meme status and become linguistic constants in the lives of many: "when _______" and "same" don't require any comedic talent at all to properly use, because they simply create an expectation of humor in reference to a subject. They have become tics. "Memes" in the formal sense of the word. A repeated mechanism that feigns comedic talent to influence social status.