Tfw too scared to use semicolons when writing in case I look pretentious and just end up using a comma splice on...

>tfw too scared to use semicolons when writing in case I look pretentious and just end up using a comma splice on purpose, I hate myself for doing it

OP is a faggot; saged.

If you use a comma splice where you should use a semi-colon, you look like an uneducated oaf.
Example:
>I love Veeky Forums, sometimes I shitpost for eight hours straight.

On the other hand, if you over-compensate and use a semi-colon splice where a comma is correct, you look like an ill-educated pseud.
Example:
>I love Veeky Forums; because the people are so friendly.

It's a knife-edge we walk in this world of eagle-eyed grammarians, user.

>mfw writing page-long periods using only semicolons to separate clauses

Use — my nigga

Only the finest and most committed of disciples can follow the Way Of Emily, grasshopper.

But I suck at that ahh how the fuck do I use them?

>absolute mad man

Only certain keyboards have the em-dash. If yours does not, you have to beg for em-dashes from those of us more fortunate.

— — — — — — — —

Here are eight you can have. When you've used these up, post a suitably grovelling thread and I'll send you some more.

Is there anyone that actually does your second example? I would be so ashamed...

I like to use hyphens.

>Connor reached out and turned the knob. It was a basement tenancy, obviously, as if the stairs weren’t enough of a give away. The door opened directly onto them - narrow musty carpeted risers that turned off sharply to the left. Handicapable this entrance was not. At least it was well lit, even if it had that old-house smell of mold and mildew. But there was another scent to it as well - sweat, and body odour. From somewhere beyond the sharp left turn music and the sound of clanking weights echoed. So this was the right place. Connor plastered on his most sincere and eager face - a rather unconvincing toothy lupine smile that only showed off his broken canine - and descended.

They're like a comma and a semicolon all in one, but because they're not real punctuation they don't actually mean anything. They are just a pause. It's like someone is speaking to you - and then they stop, to emphasise or separate what they're about to say. People don't talk in punctuation. We punctuate to attempt to imitate the rhythm of speech. That said I'm careful not to use too many, because I really should be using commas or semicolons. But I like hyphens.

The funny thing about this passage is that while you may like hyphens, you don't like them enough.

>It was a basement tenancy, obviously, as if the stairs weren’t enough of a give away.

First of all, "give away" is begging for a hyphen.
We know you know about hyphenating two words which together form a single unit, because you do it here:

>old-house smell

But many people would also prefer this:

>It was a basement tenancy, obviously - as if the stairs weren't enough of a give-away.

Admittedly some would do it like this:

>It was a basement tenancy, obviously (as if the stairs weren't enough of a give-away).

My understanding is that hyphens are used to stitch together words when you're trying to use multiple words in the place of one.

So because the phrase "old house" is being used as a single word, I use the hyphen to stitch them into one word. It's not old house smell (i.e. the smell is old and of houses) it's old-house smell (the smell of old houses). Subtle difference, but I think a meaningful one.

But because "give away" is a known phrase, I don't need to hyphenate it.

Sometimes words become so commonly hyphenated that we can drop the hyphen and have a new word. I'd sooner write "giveaway" than "give-away," just as I'd sooner write cupboard than cup-board. Although I'm not sure if cup-board is actually etymologically correct for cupboard, but let's imagine it were, like e-mail is for email.

Anyway, as far as I can tell this would all come down to a question of style. I don't think there are any hard-and-fast rules about this like there are with position of words in a sentence, for example.

My absolute negro-in-arms — there is nothing more versatile than an em-dash.

Essentials of Spontaneous Prose we out here

>calling a hyphen a dash
americans desu

>not calling it "the vigorous space dash separating rhetorical breathing"

Fearless; unstoppable.

You're right that the words "give" and "away" often appear together.
But, "give away" and "give-away" are two different things.
One is a verb unit (I like to give away books to friends and acquaintances) and the other is a noun (she was doing her best to appear civilized but her nasal piercing was a complete give-away).
Yes, you can argue that the context makes it clear, but a large part of punctuation is making things as smooth and easy as possible for the reader so he doesn't have to slow down even for a microsecond to resolve these tiny ambiguities.

That's fair enough, and I stand corrected.

Again, I'll write giveaway instead of give-away (because give-away seems archaic to me) but I take your point.

just give no fucks my nigga

I use semicolons every 15 words on average when I write

Hyphens are not the same as em-dashes. Go beg some real em-dashes from and rewrite it properly.

I; use; them; for; every; word;

I will not be bullied by the soft-spoken, jackbooted footsoldiers of American cultural imperialism. The linguistic sovereignty of British English is the inalienable right of Commonwealth. American aggression against our words and customs will be resisted at any cost.

Rise up my brothers. Give up not your "u"s. Reject the amalgamation of words like practice and practise. Our language is the residue of a glorious history, and the seething jealousy of mutts and mongrels will tarnish not our silver tongue.

Give me en-dashes with spaces on either side or give me death.

wo;ah; ma;n, that;s; nasty