I Wrote An Ancient Greek Play

I just meant mainly the tone, subject matter, and style.

There's also no Chorus or masks, but I wanted to 'adapt' the ancient style to modern times while still telling a heroic tragedy in those mythological settings.

See:
It's about the feeling that this is an ancient myth for modern audiences without doing some post-modern bullshit and setting it in modern times. I tried to be 'classical' in approach.

Another shameless bump

I also shipped diomedes with athena

>James Fox
This is an alias, right? It better not be.

In my play Diomedes worships a specific version of Athena he calls Anake, which is personified as a dragon. The idea was that he goes through so much in the backstory of the narrative that he winds up perverting his idea of her until she no longer embodies pure, civilized truth and justice, but the natural, barbaric truth of nature in its austere, uncaring way.

Why does it matter, yo?

It's obnoxious. And it also foreshadows how bad your play is going to be if you suck even at picking an alias.

I'm not going to disclose that on Veeky Forums, obviously. Have you read the 'look inside' opening to the play? -- That might be a better way to determine the quality than the author name . . .

>than the author name . . .
>. . .

...

I read the first page or so. Although honestly Im going to be biased because ancient Greek shit gets my dick hard as diamonds, but I'll try to critique the writing itself.

You describe settings and landscapes very well, its extremely easy for me to paint a mental picture based off of your writing. Its also relatively concise and to-the-point, but descriptive enough without being rambling.

The one negative that jumps out at me right from the get go is some of your sentences could be restructured slightly to read with a little more fluidity. Its almost like you hit the nail on the head a little too hard at times; your approach could be more delicate if that makes sense.

>The port city of Lavinium is one of these places
I know this wouldn't be in the actual play if it were performed, but its just an example of you being little too direct I think

>Even in that beautiful country, no solace is to be had
"Even in that beautiful county, there is no solace to be had" reads a little better I think.

>Long days, long nights, long months spent alone longing for company
This is kind of just a play on the "the hours turned to days, days to months, months to years" cliche that's a little overplayed. "many a moon was spent longing for the touch of another, if not just for some company to pass the time" is what I would have done, even though its still kind of cliche as fuck.

Again though, I feel like an asshole for picking apart little details like that, and my writing is by no means perfect or even published, so take it with a grain of salt. But its little shit like that jumps out at me almost immediately

PLEASE don't feel like an asshole -- I honestly, sincerely enjoy negative criticism than positive or 'constructive'. I know what I did right, but I need to be told what I did wrong more often than not!

That said, I'm right there with you in term of ancient greek stuff being my fetish.

But I think your points were totally valid and I'm always open to changes in my writing. I'm going to reproach the opening a few monthes from now with this in mind. THANK YOU user

You have a good attitude

unctuous, you wanted to say

Says the guy who uses an obscure word when he could have just said 'brown-nose'

I love you OP

>Ancient Greek play
>title in latin

:thinking:

>Ancient Greek Tragedy
>Written in English

>brown-nose
The thing is, I first heard about this word from you. I'm not a native speaker so I happened to know the word "unctuous" before knowing the word "brown-nose" (and I think it's too vulgar).

This person only knows English

> I wrote an Ancient Greek play
> not in Ancient Greek
> Latin title
Nah, thanks.

My classic greek is shit, desu. Only took 3 semesters.

OP here -- I just mean the style and context, not the language or setting anons

I love you more

lmao that was shit bro kys yourself

was meant for