How do you read?

If you're someone who will feel self conscious over such asinine trivial things like the "right way to read" you should just kill yourself.
Just read the book you mentally ill nitwit.

I don't even understand how there are different ways to read. What book are you referring to?

Whats that type of body in the picture called?

>how do you read?
You got the wrong door, buddy, elementary school's two blocks down

I shove the whole book into my un-hingable snake maw and use my multiple tongues to feel out each individual word, and then I use my hyperdyne mechabrain to reassemble the words into the correct order.

How do you think I read, smartass?

For what possible reason could you feel self conscious about yourself? Get a fucking kindle and stop freaking out about it.

you didn't answer the question

beautiful, healthy, shapely, voluptuous, natural, curvaceous, full figured, attractive. just google synonyms if you can't think of the words

one word at a time, like every other human being on the planet.
sometimes if a book is bullshit I read every other couple words and that works too.

Eggplant

eggplant
clapping hands
drooling tongue
100
100
100

>stare at the whole paragraph until things sink in?
???????????

I do this. I read about a minute to two minutes per page on average, and I think I generally comprehend/absorb everything to an extent.

I find it can occasionally help to focus on longer words a little bit more as these don't sink in as quickly as short/filler words like if, on, to, the, there and other simpler words. As to being self-conscious about reading just be yourself.

Literal autism. Reading is for you, if you can understand it then your good nigga. I wish i could slap your dumb ass

you mean aubergine

well duh i thought everyone did it like that

>he doesn't let the taste buds do the thing

Do people have this autistic need to understand every single sentence they read? It makes me reread sentences all the time and it's slowing down my reading speed considerably.

I realize I was daydreaming and start the page over, again.

I tear out every single page out of a book then lay the pages out on a large glass pane I own. I then look at all the pages simultaneously and use my photographic memory to scan and remember the book. If the book was particularly long I need to use a stepladder to widen my field of vision. I then lift up the pane with a system of ropes and crawl underneath it to scan the other sides of the pages. Afterwards, with two hyperdetailed images in my head I go about my day, slowly reading through each page in the mental image. This can take me days on end, but it's very convenient. I'm rarely bothered by anyone - back in the day friends or acquaintances would asks me why I'm staring blankly at my ex-girlfriend through the window of the place the works at for hours, and I would just smirk and respond 'I'm actually just reading Paradise Lost, you know?' and they would go away. Nowadays they have all gotten used to my way of reading and almost never approach me, knowing I'm carefully digesting another piece of literature.

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I used to but then I realized it hinders my ability to understand a book because it makes me stressed. I just try to take away as much as I can while reading at a normal speed. sometimes reread the books I like.

Depends on what I'm reading. Obviously, left-to-right, one word at a time. But if I'm reading a poem, I tend to go stanza by stanza to make sure I'm grasping the meter; if it's readily apparent, I'll just do the whole thing in a go (contrast something simple with Poe's "The Bells" for example.) With a story, I just read and read and read for as long as my intetest is kept, pausing only when I need to look back at something in the narrative (ex. "Is this character twisting the words of another from earlier in the chapter to insult them, à la Raskolnikov and Porfirie Petrovich?") or to really appreciate some line of great prose (like the whole scene of Ahab and Starbuck where he almost turns back from his doomed quest). Philosophy is the most variable, because I want to make sure I'm following what the writer is trying to convey. Might be a whole page before I have to collect my reactions, might be a paragraph, might be a sentence (Seneca / Rousseau / Spinoza).

tl;dr the method and speed of reading shouldn't be a contest of speed or volume (quantity) but of grasping meaning (quality): either what the author is directly trying to convey or - failing that - at least a coherent impression of your own to carry forward.

Every word, carefully, out loud, repeating the last sentence of every paragraph and rereading the first, all while visualizing the events of the text like a movie playing in my head.

This post has inspired me to leave Veeky Forums. You all are pricks. Farewell.
t. not even OP

>read page
>Realize I didn't actually read the page
>Try it again
>Same thing
>Okay now I'm gonna focus really hard
>Make it halfway then lose it again
WHY

eliminate distractions

Does anyone else read aloud in their head?

Start by killing yourself

Of course, yes. Reading is one of the most stressful experiences you can possibly encounter if you read actually hard non-fiction like philosophy or economics.

this thread is the toppest of lit keks

rofl

Plebs, all of you.

I turn of all the lights save two candles which shine light on two different pages.I take all my clothes off and settle in my big leather chair with my legs spread so the wax from the candles drips on my toes. I then proceed to read letter by letter, slowly absorbing the words in the dim light whilst I touch myself. For every sentence finished, I close my eyes and bite my lips, thus making a rich image of the dialogue forever engraved in my head. Lightly stroke the shaft as I turn each page. Once I finish a chapter I sit in silence and absorb the piece of literature with a final orgasm.

Did this with Ulysses. Best month of my life.

I find copies of the book in braille and then take graphite rubbings of each individual page, so I have a reversed copy of the braille.

Then, I take high definition pictures of the rubbings with pre-digital cameras, leave those in the red room for at least twelve days while I prepare some homemade hard cider.

Then I go to the gym and hang a clothesline across the long mirrors by the treadmills and turn them all to 2 MPH and spend the day hopping down the line of treadmills with a note book translating the graphite rubbings reflections in the gym mirrors.

Then I read my translation in the squat rack while I drink my fermented cider (disguised in an opaque mill gallon container).

I have a friend read it out loud around fire so it’s like old days with all oral tellings.

If it’s something like Kant, you zone out and lose the logical flow, which means you don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about by the end of the page.

>If the book was particularly long I need to use a stepladder to widen my field of vision
made me laugh out loud way more than it should

Fine Arabic/Levantine ladies

Usually I read a book by turning on my computer, telling windows 10 I would not like to install updates, opening microsoft edge and reading a couple paragraphs from the Wikipedia page about it.

Honestly its kind of a strange question, hard to think about how to answer. I feel like reading and language is just sort of natural right? I dont fuckin know lol

that’s not a good speed you dumb sperg

audiobook master race

Honestly the technique I use is the one I thought everyone used. I mean I thought it self-intuitive. I just hold the book in my hands, closed, firmly, and concentrate really intently on absorbing the essence of the book through my palms. After about a few hours, I'll have read or re-read Joyce's Ulysses and be able to talk about it skilledly with almost any Joyce scholar.

I've actually become such a quick reader that reading has become a bit of a chore for me. What I have to do is buy two copies of the book I want to read, tear them out and tape them up in order on all four walls of a large room. I then run as fast as I can around the room as many times as there are rows of pages.
Once I get to the sprinting part of my reading things go smoothly but the setup has really been putting me off of reading lately. It's especially bad when I have a really large book to read because it means I have to rent out the local community hall for the day just to have enough wall space.

I read exclusively high quality threads on Veeky Forums.

This is the first time I've ever made it past the OP.

genuinely made me laugh

I just rip the pages out and cram them up my hot beautiful asshole

Holy shit, Veeky Forums actually has a funny user.