post 'em
Veeky Forums humour thread
Lucas Gutierrez
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Camden Robinson
My grandfather actually met and was friends with Hemingway. I grew up in southern BC, but we often vacationed in Sun Valley, Idaho, where my grandfather lived. My grandfather had a great sense of humour and every summer when we visited him, he would always end up telling us a Hemingway story. I only really remember one story but it just shows what a funny man my grandfather was.
It was 1959 or 1960 and my grandfather was grouse hunting with Hemingway in the foothills just south of Ketchum. It was a warm afternoon and they took frequent breaks, sitting on the hillsides and looking out over the valley with their rifles in their laps as Hemingway’s health was failing. ‘Papa’ was a stern and quiet man by then. Grandfather liked to lighten the mood whenever he could. He would tease his friend and sometimes narrate the thoughts of the grouse as they wandered stupidly close to them. “Duh, what is that man pointing a gun at me for?” And then my grandfather would shoot the grouse. Pretty funny stuff. Hemingway never laughed because it wasn’t his nature, but my grandfather knew he liked the gags. After a short day of hunting, they would retire to Hemingway’s porch to smoke and sip from Hemingway’s large collection of Cuban rums and cigars. They continued this ritual several times in the summer of 1960. Mary would make delectable apple pie and grandfather and Papa would devour it. Papa rarely spoke, except to compliment his wife on her apple pie. My grandfather, picking up on this, decided to pull another gag. After another grouse-hunting session that had to be cut short due to Papa’s aching body and pervasive melancholy state, they were sitting on the porch. Papa turned to my grandfather and said, “I often feel that even with an infinite natural landscape before me, my mind is incapable of happiness.” My grandfather, seeing his opportunity, pulled a tin plate of whip cream from under his chair and said, “But I heard you love pie!” And creamed Hemingway in the face with the pie. It was a legendary prank and my grandfather told us that story a dozen times.
Papa died shortly after that, but I knew my grandfather must’ve been one of the last bits of joy he had in his life.
Adam Robinson
>buy a cravat, tweed jacket, and some shiny cannibal shoes
>I Have Become The Hunter
>invite an old friend of mine over for dinner...
>confit de hamburger meat, hot pocquette under a bed of marinara sauce with fried pommes du terre
>as I make the feast I imagine that it's the remains of a 23rd year old Slovakian exchange student that I have abducted.
>"wow, nice sloppy joes, user"
>I can barely control The Beast
>Adam Chaikovsky on the radio and Drive ost
>the finest cranberry juice (Ocean Spray, 2012)
>during dinner I try to probe his mind, trying to somehow decipher the pathetic nature of Humans
>"Do you believe in god, my friend?"
>"Excuse me user?"
>"G-god must be a madman, lest he choose to be a m-monster"
>triumphantly pop a morsel into my mouth
>it misses, bounces off my cravat
>he leaves early
>I finish the rest of the sloppy joes, content
>at school the next day everyone thinks I'm gay
>apparently my hissing, smirking and staring deep into his eyes was seen as flirtatious behaviour
>the Beast still hungers
Kevin Perez
i was in that thread, it was a good time
also fuck NYC. I just returned from there, it was hellish. Psychos rambling at themselves everywhere, rats and garbage in the subways, everyone angry, dreadful weather, shoebox apartments...why would anyone want to live there?
Carson Rivera
Dylan Davis
i get shit for it but im posting old shit anyway to keep the thread bumping
Ryan Stewart
Aaron Russell
Samuel Jenkins
Leave Toni alone :(
Ethan Long