Badly describe a book, anons guess it

Is this a book full of convoluted, half-explored ideas? You know, the ones where'd you go "oh hey that's pretty cool" but then 10 pages later that idea has been discarded in favour of another one and the cycle continues?
Does the book's story read like it's never seen an editor?
Does the book jump the shark in the second half of the story, going from "kinda odd but good odd, in corcondance with what the genre is supposed to be" to "what the fuck is this shit, did a markov chain generator think up this plot element?"
Were you unsatisfied when one or both of the storylines in the book ended because their ending was shite?
Does the author have an unhealthy obsession with the MC's dick?

If you've anwered 'yes' to all of those questions, then I know the book.

>dude, like, this city that I saw during my travels was like, so weird dude
>yeah I know dude my kingdom is awesome
>*hits bong*
>so what do you think about the nature of memories

>that other dude killed his dad
What? I don't remember this part.

Kek, its the same book.

The dialogues are so fucking unrealistic, i'm not sure if i should hate the author or the translator, but its probably the author. Lots of cringy scenes, like the other guy saying to the prostitute explain hegel, and that part where the feminists go to the library and the guy was actually a grill. FUCK this book and this author.

the lawyer tells him his case is gonna go fine since there's a patricide lined up to be tried right after his trial so nobody is gonna care that much about him

Invisible Cities.

Such a great book.

one young feller rapes phoebe

Kafka on the beach?

>dude where's my wife lmao
>dude fuck bald people
>fuck mongolians
>dude where's my wife lmao

>i like holes
>ill drink and eat whatever the fuck i want
>strange people are talking to me, im stuck in a house
>pig baby
>sister creepily watches me sleep

mishima

>fuck all this learning shit, ima be a cowboy
>too pussy to fuck the hooker
>hire two crude dudes and a grandpa
>guns a blazing
>shit it's getting cold
>lets go home
>one crude dude dies
>fuck the prostitute

>aya datsa spicy meataballa
>day killed a guy I knew
>snoop around
>dies
>gets made fun of in the grave for being a nosey dipshit

>Man talks to himself a lot in some dead guy's apartment.
>Man hides behind curtain when people come in
>Man carries on talking to himself

Good book too.

Hehehehe
you forgot the croquet

hehehe
and the tarts

this could almost be Mr King in his cocaine phase

This is a story about a guitar
that was played by a man
who served a man
who had a son
who had a brother
who had another brother
who loved a girl
who thought she loved the previous brother
who grabbed the beard
of another poor man
who had a son
who bit the finger
of the first of the brothers
who had the father
who employed the servant
who played the guitar
in the garden.

My diary desu

>some hot topic terrorist fucks a princess in the ass
>dies
>didn't die
>happily ever after (deaf)

so anyway I'm minding my own business and this fellow comes up and tries to STAB me
so I'm like what
and he's like stabbing me
so I bite his leg off
that's the end of it as far as I'm concerned but no
he can't let it go can he
so he's following me around again
sick_of_this.jpg
anyway, long story short, he isn't following me around any more

could almost be omelette

>Boy my life's terrible
>I'll change name and go to the casino
>shit I'm rich wtf
>Adriana is cute
>tfw got robbed
>tfw no documents to prove who I am
>fuck you Copernico

i hate my job
i hate my wife
i hate my daughter
i hate my retarded son
i quite like my younger son though
i hate my work colleagues
right, time to daydream about a girl i knew when i was 17
she had big tits
did i tell you i hate my life?

>fat dipshit really thinks I'm retarded
>it was all a ruse all along
>he actually stuck around

Pet Sematary

Il fu Mattia Pascal

did you even read remains of the day

>onions are gross
>now they’re tasty

Just a man on his lunchbreak

>yung
>tired of bombs so we movin
>let's move again
>wtf i love reading now
>im a professor with a secret
>i hate people, hi mom

Who hurt you?

Brothers K

>dude lives as a hikkikomori for 10 years
>finally leaves his man cave and thinks he's a prophet or something

BC?

Thus spoke Zarathustra?

novel consisting of interwoven short-stories, using a man as the central figure, who oversees these stories which deal with the social and political issues of that time and are relevant to this day, to an extent.

>done all there is to do, fuck the city, i'm out
>live in suburbs, this is more like it
>harass old couple, conduct weird experiments with art
>here's a list of my favorite roman writers
>nerves shot, can't eat
>whoops, almost died
>the collapse of civilization is impending

no he doesn't

>theres a mega-jew doing some shady stuff
>a jewish women is trying to find what it is
>jet fuel can't melt steel beams
>its all over now, there's no evidence of anything anymore, so she'll just live hoping the evil never remember she knew too much

JoJo's Bizzare Adventure: Stardust Crusaders

In Time starring Justin Timberlake

>I miss my sister! hurdur
>I want to fuck my sister! o, and time
>bitches, be bitches! especially my sister!
>The church! and black lady

The Mezzanine? Haven't read it but my friend keeps telling me to.

Easy, remains of the day

Kek'd

>blind big boulder boy
>uh oh sea nigger angry
>fuck an island bitch
>have to get home to stop all the betas getting their ins with my wifey
>sea nigger makes it difficult
>get home and fuck sissy betas up with godlike chad strength

>too many characters
>spontaneous combustion

Shrek

Remains Of The Day?

The Bible desu

nope

>faulty car also

The Republic

>dude and his friends do drugs then wonder if they are high the entire story

>we be spooky stew'in
>a visitor
>fucking complaining wife, FFINNEE
>mah hands, mah hanndsss. unclean, UNCLEEANNN
>im a ghost im not a ghost idk man but i know you're fucking nuts
>somethingsomething people are killed
>here's a head yo yo
>sppoookkyyy

Sarte on the hill

Why the fuck is everyone guessing Remains of the Day? He was far from a pussy slayer and he didn't read the Greeks, he read romantic novels ffs

>lol guess I'll be a teacher in the country and teach these hicks
>lol whoops now I've married one of the hicks
>now I'm a vegetable farmer
>my son is a dumbass
>he only cares about money and abandoned his passion of architecture for the advertising business

Clearly Murakami by wasting my time.

>hey honey, your nose is slightly skewed to right
>ahaha what no way
>oh wait you're right
>I never noticed before
>oh
>oh no
>oh nonononono
>OH NONONONONONO
>aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAh
>MY LIFE IS LIE
>NOTHING IS REAL

>dude poetry lmao
>mexico city is huge
>blowjobs and weed for all!
>we gotta find this bitch poetress in the desert lol
>ok let's go, yolo lol
>fuck, 25 years later, man, our movement failed but it's okay lmao

I unironically don't know but what to know

>I'm a dirty povo and everyone hates me
>Except this one fit bird
>Oh wait she's fucked off to the upper-class twat next door
>Now she's dead
>I know, let's ruin everything for everyone
>Aren't the moors great lmao

Blake house

The savage detectives.

Chad fucks women all the way into the mountains and beyond and declares himself king

>Live in Dublin
>Get fucked
>Times fifteen

Holes

my diary desu

Yup

hehe, you overlooked the wacky "hang a woman's dog to win her heart" antics

Magus

I was thinking of Arrested Development while reading that

One, No One and One Hundred Thousand

>Hey, let's go dance a lot
>Okay
>Hey, how about you shoot me in the head now
>Okay

>Get the fuck off my beach

>mum is pretty chill
>get fucked up nightly on milk
>lead mates in nightly mischief under influence of said milk
>end up in jail because of said actions
>hang out with based priest
>volunteer as psychological hamster
>get sick whenever I get hard on
>release from prison, get kidnapped and jump from windows

A Clockwork Orange?

>killing old ladies is a-okay if you´re Napoleon

Right then, you unspeakable pack of drooling, boss-eyed, semen-stained faggots. First one to get all these wins a Valuable Prize.

>Understanding this book is a breeze:
>Just keep track of four siblings. Of these,
>One's so nasty we shiver,
>One jumps in the river,
>One's dopey and one smells of trees.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>My story is very traumatic:
>I met someone so charismatic.
>I thought I'd found love,
>But alas! - up above
>Was a nasty surprise in the attic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>This novel's a barrel of fun.
>The war has been practically won,
>So the hero's position
>Is: "Why fly more missions?
>I'll jump out the window and run!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>In a era of trembling and dread,
>The gentry are losing their heads.
>But when one's for the chop
>An acquaintance says "Stop!
>I'll be noble, chop mine off instead!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>This book is first-rate, most agree:
>But it's too long and boring for me.
>It's just endless dissection
>Of Sapphic affection
>And dipping your cake in your tea.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>Some readers (whose hearts must be stony)
>Call this 'over-rated baloney'.
>They think someone sucks
>If he cares about ducks
>And believes other people are phoney.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>This gate-crasher's truly a pain,
>He breaks in again and again,
>Till a bouncer's called in
>To put paid to his sin -
>Then his mother goes round to complain!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
>You know a disgusting old witch:
>So kill her and then you'll be rich!
>But you cannot get past
>Your own conscience. At last
>You just turn yourself in. Life's a bitch.

Gears of War 2?

6th one is Catcher in the Rye
where's my prize

fugg I can't read

You have to guess all of them, you dunce.

The Odyssey.

They shoot horses, don't they?

The crime and the punishment

someone give this guy a medal

Macbeth

1. The Sound and The Fury
2. Jane Eyre
3. Catch-22
4. Tale of Two Cities
5. In Search of Lost Time
6. Catcher in the Rye.
7. Beowulf
8. Crime and Punishment

I had to look up Proust and Austen, if I'm being honest.