Holy Bible

>reading fanfic

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Wrong pic OP, think you meant to post this.

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When you decided? Who are you?

Nice butt

You can't handle the truth.

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>implying you can read Hebrew at all and didn't memorize a passage by rote for your bar mitzvah

>yes have sex with your daughters
>kill your first born son to prove your faith
>circumcise all of your followers to prove your faith
How could anyone follow this psychological poison?

Imagine being so weak willed you need an external omniscient daddy figure to rub your head and tell you you're a good boy

>confusing the moral laws in religious costume for the philosophy of love that will be the salvation of mankind

you are the brainlet of the day my man GJGE

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The Old Testament really destroys the potential of the New Testament and Jesus being true.

you should look up Spartan, Germanic, Nordic, Indian, Iranian aristocratic behavior and then cut off a finger for me

You haven't read well enough.

>philosophy of love
>god literally turns people to salt

absolutely love retards in every christ thread that dont understand faith

once again you prove your ignorance famalam. you are confusing Yahweh the vengeful god of the Israelites with the Christian god of the new testament. maybe try cracking a bible open once before posting in a bible thread thanks.

im at least ya'll on this board read the greeks first before confining your miserable lives to pseudo amazing atheism

*glad also im retarded too but ill go to confession lol

I've read enough.

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How can the Bible juxtapose deep truths about the human condition with utterly retarded bullshit?

Define "the truth"

This
If the bible is true then how it doesn't confirm to our 21st century sensibilities?

Checkmate christcucks.

>prehistoric society
>helps shape western values and customs
>lolsuchbarbarians

>David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.

How based was David, Veeky Forums?

Always.

But it was anthropologically and historically confirmed when I read pic related

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gtf off my board, christfaggot

It conforms to my sensibility, my sense of humor to be precise.

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What is it with this board and its hard-on for laws written for sheepfuckers 2,000+ years ago

Is this some kind of wacky protestant bullshit because you fuckers are too lazy to think?
We follow the same God.
The God of the OT is our God in the NT.
What the other lad should've responded with is that the OT is filled with hyperbole, metaphor and other literary devices, because for a very very long time it was oral tradition before becoming written tradition. So Lot's wife literally becoming a pile of salt is unlikely.

>the bible
>deep truths
No

Who is the worst Apostle and why is it luke?

the talmud is in aramaic you fucking turbopleb

The Bible is old hat.

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Why would they put that in a children's book?

The best bible for kids that I saw cut out all of that stuff and made it more about a general message of loving another and trying to be good.

You question the words of the mighty Jimmy?!

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What kid wouldn't want to hear that story?

You haven't. It would be cute that you think you have, if it weren't attitudes like yours undermining Western Civilization.

The Bible was compiled and even standardized well before the Talmud came into existence.

Paul is the worst
Fight me

It’s bits of at least partially spurious and mostly very violent history, mixed with irrelevant and strict social regulations and rules which don’t really apply today (don’t eat shellfish) but which may have had some purpose or meaning in their time, and may have been added by other scribes/edited after, mixed with occasional parables with deep meaning, significance, and beauty which have influenced all of Western civilization. I think The Bible is the one book where you actually should not be criticized for cherry picking from it, but are, in fact, OBLIGED to cherry pick from it if you just want the parts with wisdom. Consider that the Bible we read today was arbitrarily pasted together by the early church. Some great and deep texts were left out which are thus now called apocrypha, and some texts which are not so good may have been included just through human error. I think people are immature to discount some of its deep meaning and beauty in some teachings just because of Christians who can’t admit not everything in the Bible is necessarily the word of God and it can’t necessarily all be made to fit and not contradict itself, since it’s a bunch of books written by different people over centuries and likely corrupted by editors, translators, and scribes along the way.

>It’s bits of at least partially spurious and mostly very violent history, mixed with irrelevant and strict social regulations and rules which don’t really apply today (don’t eat shellfish)
Yeah, that's called the Old Testament. There are three types of laws in the OT. Civil, Ceremonial and Moral.
Out of those 3, Christians are only bound to Moral laws (think of stuff like the 10 commandments), but the other two categories which include dietary and clothing requirements expired because of the new covenant in Christ.
>OBLIGED to cherry pick from it if you just want the parts with wisdom
I can't speak for other denominations, but the Catholic Church has writings on this stretching all the way back to the apostles that deals with matters such as what I spoke of earlier. It's not quite cherry picking to our 21st century sensibilities, but there is proper reasoning and theology behind it.
>because of Christians who can’t admit not everything in the Bible is necessarily the word of God
I'm yet to meet or hear of a single Christian who has ever claimed that the bible is the word of God.
Perhaps you're thinking of Muslims. Christians have never believed that the whole bible is the direct word of God, otherwise we would've never translated the bible, just as Muslims don't translate the Quran.

which book of his?

Ok while we're all here, should I actually bother reading the Bible? never read any of it

Relatively early from three standpoints:
- miraculous
- coincidental
- philosophical/historical/anthropological

in that chronological order. Ironically despite miraculous being the first appearance of truth, I did not really think of God much for years and years until later on.

Not even proddies are this heretical. This is pure gnosticism. Even some gnostic sects find this particular literal interpretation unsavory.

Only when I started seeing how the Gospel fit into my personal experience of life and then later on the historical narrative of man did I really start scratching the surface of conscious faith.

When I stopped going to churches designed for neurotypical people to initiate religious feels.

KJV for the beautiful language. NRSV-CE for study.

explain.

I had fun studying the Synoptic problem for the first time. Also the Wisdom books of the Old Testament are worthwhile. If you want to read it, read it. Do research on translation according to your needs first, though. Don't just ask what the "best" one is.

I think the fact that I'm not neurotypical is what draws me to religion

>KJV was translated for the common uneducated man to understand some 500 years ago
>it's now beautiful because we no longer talk like that, but associate it with our year 9 English class where we read Romeo and Juliet.
I feel sorry for you.

>complains about fanfic
>Posts the fucking talmud
user, what are you doing

Jerusalem. Chapters and verses have no meaning or basis, they have no right to butcher the text.

I loled

because Luke was not a real apostolic text. it was invented to help set the foundations for an evangelical movement for a unified church.

I feel sorry for you for bein so salty, bub

OP, if you really want to be a Christian, then you must understand that Jesus is the Truth. The Bible is just a vessel which delivers Him to you.

commandments
Didn't know you guys obverved the shabat

idk how u havent met a self proclaimed christian who takes shit this literally because they are all over in Amrika and are monumentally retarded in how they implement Gods word

>gods word
>i dont have to do anything to be saved, i can fuck and have abortions to my hearts content

>REEEE IF YOU DON'T RESPECT MY EASTERN DESERT MYTHS YOU'RE UNDERMINING WESTERN CIVILIZATION

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