Proud as F***

Yeah, in fact we have one right here. But I thank you. Those words mean a lot.
And in fact, all profits (its even in the description and online) that a huge portion will go to "Blijf van mijn lijf huizen" Its a Dutch term for safe houses for man, woman and child alike being a victim of sexual or domestic abuse. I keep a small portion to advertise. The rest goes to them.

Quote from iTunes:
* This book is made to become a charity; all profits are being used to support victims of any form of sexual and/or abuse *

Was it mostly shame or fear of suffering violence again?

why do secular humanists care so much about sex that they claim that sexual abuses are worse than non-sexual abuses?

A good part of both. The nightmares made it come back almost every night.
Shame for as: "How could this have happened to me" and a undeniable "why me..." which I could never help her with.
She even asked me at one point: "Where were you?"

That still haunts me even till this day. I know it shouldn't and I know she said it out of pure pain, frustration, sadness and all those emotion combined, yet no matter how much I think about it, there is always this thought: What could I have done.
It sucks.

I have seen many stories, especially on /b/ and I have been on Veeky Forums for many many years. All kinds of boards. Sometimes I read stories that are so painful that I wish they were not true. So maybe one of those, very few, reads this as well and knows it can still be okay. One day.

Good luck with it OP! Hope you write many more.

>Yeah, but getting royalties in return.
>user got tricked into a vanity press.
I'm sorry to break this to you OP, but you didn't really get published. This is a common thing Vanity presses do as a scam.

I don't know honestly. To me, they are almost the same. I can understand it from a point cause I have 'seen' what it does to someone.
But its all about power, overpowering a weaker person and getting a kick out of it. Seeing that person weak and helpless, especially the being weak and not being able to do anything back. It fuels their.. rage / anger even more.

To me, they are both as horrible. Being overpowered to where you are nothing more but an object.
But being sexually assaulted against your will breaks basically the final barrier, then there is nothing left of you.

I guess that's why.

Thank you.. I guess? I hope I will not write about this subject ever again.
And no, I have the book and its in stores. I have seen it with my own eyes.

Write a happy one! Like, of a guy who goes into the world to fulfill his dreams! That would be a joy to read.

Yeah mate it's not your fault.

St. Augustine writes somewhere to console the Christian nuns that had been raped by barbarian invaders. I think he even warns them against committing suicide. For these women their virginity was part of their very identity and station in life, so you can imagine how especially awful it was for them. I think he says that while chastity is a great virtue, humility is a greater virtue, so the nuns should not be upset if they've lost their virginity (through no fault of their own) but gained in humility. That may sound really harsh but I think there's a great truth in it. I can only speculate (I don't really understand what women go through in this situation) but I imagine that a great deal of the pain she went through was self-inflicted, in that she kept punishing herself and renewing the thought of it in her mind, alternating between a sense of pride ("why me?" "how could this happen to me?") and a sense of guilt/shame. I think a woman who has suffered rape has to "forgive herself", i.e. fully realise that it is not her fault, but also let go of that pride which keeps saying that she didn't deserve to have her body violated. Of course, she DIDN'T deserve it, but if she clings to tightly to a sense of ownership over her own body then the remembrance of it having been taken away from her will fill her with excessive shame. She has to let go and learn to be more gentle and relaxed with her body, otherwise she's just renewing the rapist's violence upon it.

That's indeed great wisdom. Never been a religious person myself but it makes sense. In order to forgive another, one must forgive her or his self. In order to love another, one must love themselves first.

And that's what she could no longer do.

>And no, I have the book and its in stores. I have seen it with my own eyes.
Huh? That's exactly the point. The definition of a vanity press is paying a fee to the 'publisher' in order to get access to printing and or bookstores.

Yeah but you still get royalties when you make a sale.

Was your book published by British London, perchance?

Attached: Business_secrets_of_the_pharoahs.png (638x358, 213K)

Anyone sperging about that lower case dawn?
Shoot yourself.

Touching story OP but I fear you dun goofed...

If you pay to have your book published it's called vanity publishing. Anyone can do it with anything they've wrote. Noone has picked out your book and deemed it worthy to put money behind, you've just paid someone to bind your shit together. It's not something to be proud about.

Besides, your cover picture is awful and why is 'dawn' lower case? The whole thing looks shabby and cheap.

With the lower case I wanted to convey how through man's hands even something as splendid and divine as the dawn could be defiled by man's hands.

Is Dawn the protagonist raped in this book?
Is Dawn the antagonist raped in this book?
Does the sun blow up?
If no, then shoot yourself.

>not knowing this extremely well-known scam
I hope you're rusing me, OP. Hard to believe that in the age of Amazon self-publishing someone would fall for this.

>there's a tragic story behind it
I doubly hope you're rusing me, OP.

It's a metaphor. My wife was amber-haired, which often reminded me of the dawn.

>and wrote it down as a red wire that all wounds eventually heal

Yeah, except your ex rape wounds, apparently.

huh, i assumed vanity publishing was killed off by self-published ebooks but i guess the scam lives on. i wonder if they actually do the thing described in focault's pendulum where they also publish an encyclopedia of great writers and put their clients in there together with shakespeare and joyce.

You can stop trying to sell your little d. We already get the humor.

the reason they asked you to pay them up front is that they don't expect it to sell at all. that's the vanity press business model, they get their money from the authors and not the readers. at some point they might ask you to buy all the unsold copies or else they get pulped.

lol i found your "publisher"

home.bravenewbooks.nl/

>With more than 15,000 authors, Brave New Books is the largest self-publishing platform in the Benelux. Dozens of new authors are added every day.
>You determine the selling price of your book and thus the amount of your royalties. You always buy your own books at the lowest price.
>Upload your files and your cover on our platform.

congrats on being one of the "dozens every day" to upload a pdf to a website and pay to have it printed!

I looked into it too, and it reeks of vanity publishing. Would be interesting if OP had to do his own marketing because that's another tell-tale sign (not in all but most, some big publishers don't market but that's not the point here), which I suspect this thread is because of the good responses until everyone starts pointing out it's a vanity press.

pride is one of the seven deadly sins you're going to hell

I'm the guy that posted

I'm not a marketing person. I just didn't want to be the guy calling 'FAKE FAKE' if this guy actually lose his ex-wife to rape and suicide.

>Would be interesting if OP had to do his own marketing because that's another tell-tale sign

of course. his "publisher" is just a completely automated print-on-demand system where you upload files to a website and never talk to a human being. here's what their "marketing" looks like:

>You are largely responsible for the sales success of your book. This means maximum effort on your part: informing your network, being active on social media, sending press releases, etc.
>Based on the information you have entered, we have automatically prepared a press release for you. You can send this press release to all parties who may want to write about your book.
>Based on your cover, the title of your book, your writer's name and the description of your book, we automatically create a widget (a kind of mini-website). This widget can be placed at the touch of a button on, for example, your Facebook page

it's the next generation of vanity press that no longer needs to talk to these sad sacks of shit before extracting their money. you just put your credit card info in a website and play around with it, copying machine-generated spam into facebook. it's some sort of hybrid of vanity press and f2p mobile games.

>it reeks of vanity publishing
What? It literally is, by definition, vanity publishing. This is like seeing a picture of a cat and saying 'this reeks of cat'.

That cover jesus

Why are the covers on these always so terrible?
And I am aware that this thread is bait, but on the off chance it isn't, best of luck, OP.

>Why are the covers on these always so terrible?

it's literally a jpg that op uploaded to a website. i assume an intern looked at it before it went to print to make sure it's not just goatse and swastikas but beyond that the "publisher" doesn't care.

Why isn’t dawn capitalized?

>virginity was part of their very identity and station in life
They are the Vestal Virgins.

Not so! There are lots of successful authors who self publish their books. If you want to maintain financial and artistic control of your work, like all good authors, cutting out the middle man and self publishing is often most sensible way to do.

...Might not be case with OP but.

>Hope you write many more.
Tears, bro. Tears. Have a (You).

I was going to suggest he retitle to "THOT Process" - alas the title was already taken. There is even a THOT Process 2: Diamond Eye. Maybe OP can glom onto the franchise.

1. Got any recent examples of successful authors who use / have used a vanity press?

2. Even if there are any, now Amazon and other sites exist, why in God's name would you pay someone to do this when you can reach a (theoretically) far larger market for free?

but it didn't work, and it looks bad
that might have looked good as a stylistic choice in a poem inside a book, but not on the front cover. it looks like a mistake

wish you the best on the book, but why did you get an artist with no sense of anatomy or perspective to do the portrait on the cover?

holy fuck

If the cover is any indication of what the woman looked like, then sorry to say but she had it coming.

Sergio De La Pava

>Dutch
>woman raped
Oh G-d user, I hipe it wasn't Muslim, but in my mind I know it was, fucking cucked hard senpai. You should be waging a guerilla war with you skills instead of writing a diary.

everything about this thread is cringe

Does anyone else think this might be 100 post user?
If not, best of luck to you OP. Didn't read the whole thread but you seem like a sincere and compassionate guy.

>op had to write dawn in lowercase because he doesnt have a big D

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this isnt real

your wife is a cuck

itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-light-of-dawn/id610289246?mt=11

>Published: Feb 24, 2013
Huh, that's funny.

I hope you are real, OP, because you are inspiring —at least to me. I've been playing with the idea of writing fiction as way of soothing my own pain, but it's been 6 years since I stopped and I don't know how to get back to it.

Yikes.
>Op posting hoping to get a quick bump of sales
>Also theres a chance Op has a grudge against the actual author and wants to associate it with this shithole.

There's another possibility

I wouldn't touch the book based on the cover art and name alone

Attached: 1513055825967.jpg (415x334, 39K)

Congrats man, hope it does well

>broke my knee carrying her home at one point
How weak are you physically? How is this even possible???

You're setting the standard for bait my man. Kudos.

Maybe she was just really big boned.

Man that guy got bogdanized

>Maybe she was just really big boned.
>The Heavy of dawn

who?

>not The Weight of dawn

looks like ivanka

The cover art looks like the second half of one of those "One year of art practice" pictures

Why didn't you use an actual photograph instead of a shitty sketch? Why that font? Why didn't you hire a graphic designer?

who's 100 post user?
>inb4 being this new

You'd be surprised how fragile human joints are. Then again I don't know what he means by "broke his knee". If he dislocated it, that's 6 weeks recovery, tore a ligament that's 6 months, but if he fractured or broke his patella that's a lifelong injury.

What do you mean by "broke your knee"?

i assumed he meant pessoachan, or is 100 post user a different person?

Kek

Post an excerpt op

This has to be a meme right? Post a shot of the text.

Look at the picture, obvious meme.

Islamed.com

I smirked out loud

Requesting some patrician user to buy the book so we can make fun of it

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Congrats, next time get a better artist to do the cover art.

I felt the direct inverse of "Light" to be more poetic.

>You'd be surprised how fragile human joints are.
You can baby her all you want at the recovery site and you can baby her all you want at the destination, but you tell her to buck up and deal with the discomfort when you fireman carry her home. I am assuming he carried her out front so he was imbalanced, thus inducing the injury. If the broad is over 100 pounds then she is going over my shoulder.

amazon.fr/Light-Dawn-Her-name-Ilona/dp/9402171983

Amazon was out of sock but I found this:
itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-light-of-dawn/id610289246?mt=11

I don't think this guy fireman carried her anywhere, he'd be way less likely to fall and hurt his knee, even if he stumbled it's highly unlikely he'd hurt himself, that's why they teach firemen to carry people this way.

I think OP imagines himself carrying her in his arms like a cradled baby. Much harder to do because the load is mostly focused on your muscles and not your skeleton. I'll be honest, this all sounds like fantasy.

>The woman I fell in in love with passed away due to a horrifying rape incident.
Germany or UK?

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Summary is worse than cover.
Summary is worse than cancer.

Veeky Forums humor worthy

Sweden

should i buy it and post screenshots?

Attached: 138627354965.jpg (760x430, 181K)

Could you not pick a cover which didn't look like utter dog shit?

He forgot to mention he was the one who raped her.