You haven’t read this user? R-really? You are aware this is a literature board, right?

The NYRB edition translates the Greek and Latin quotations.

Read it twice. First was a hideous Kessinger blue telephone book-looking thing, second was an old Bohn's Classic in 3 vols. Just great reading.

Is it worth reading? Be honest.

It's one of the best books ever written.

Can you elaborate? Before I drop $35 and a chunk of my life, I want a little convincing

"Their blindness is all out as great, as manifest as their weakness and dotage, or rather an inseparable companion, an ordinary sign of it, love is blind, as the saying is, Cupid's blind, and so are all his followers. Quisquis amat ranam, ranam putat esse Dianam. Every lover admires his mistress, though she be very deformed of herself, ill-favoured, wrinkled, pimpled, pale, red, yellow, tanned, tallow-faced, have a swollen juggler's platter face, or a thin, lean, chitty face, have clouds in her face, be crooked, dry, bald, goggle-eyed, blear-eyed, or with staring eyes, she looks like a squissed cat, hold her head still awry, heavy, dull, hollow-eyed, black or yellow about the eyes, or squint-eyed, sparrow-mouthed, Persian hook-nosed, have a sharp fox nose, a red nose, China flat, great nose, nare simo patuloque, a nose like a promontory, gubber-tushed, rotten teeth, black, uneven, brown teeth, beetle browed, a witch's beard, her breath stink all over the room, her nose drop winter and summer, with a Bavarian poke under her chin, a sharp chin, lave eared, with a long crane's neck, which stands awry too, pendulis mammis, "her dugs like two double jugs," or else no dugs, in that other extreme, bloody fallen fingers, she have filthy, long unpared nails, scabbed hands or wrists, a tanned skin, a rotten carcass, crooked back, she stoops, is lame, splay-footed, "as slender in the middle as a cow in the waist," gouty legs, her ankles hang over her shoes, her feet stink, she breed lice, a mere changeling, a very monster, an oaf imperfect, her whole complexion savours, a harsh voice, incondite gesture, vile gait, a vast virago, or an ugly tit, a slug, a fat fustilugs, a truss, a long lean rawbone, a skeleton, a sneaker (si qua latent meliora puta), and to thy judgment looks like a merd in a lantern, whom thou couldst not fancy for a world, but hatest, loathest, and wouldst have spit in her face, or blow thy nose in her bosom, remedium amoris to another man, a dowdy, a slut, a scold, a nasty, rank, rammy, filthy, beastly quean, dishonest peradventure, obscene, base, beggarly, rude, foolish, untaught, peevish, Irus' daughter, Thersites' sister, Grobians' scholar, if he love her once, he admires her for all this, he takes no notice of any such errors, or imperfections of body or mind, [5391]Ipsa haec—delectant, veluti Balbinum Polypus Agnae,; he had rather have her than any woman in the world. If he were a king, she alone should be his queen, his empress. O that he had but the wealth and treasure of both the Indies to endow her with, a carrack of diamonds, a chain of pearl, a cascanet of jewels, (a pair of calfskin gloves of four-pence a pair were fitter), or some such toy, to send her for a token, she should have it with all his heart; he would spend myriads of crowns for her sake. Venus herself, Panthea, Cleopatra, Tarquin's Tanaquil, Herod's Mariamne, or Mary of Burgundy, if she were alive, would not match her. "

I'm inching my way through it too, only read about 10%. It's really great. Very hard going, you need to keep your wits about you and concentrate. But it's funny as hell, Burton is astonishingly intelligent and erudite, every page is good so far.
The NYRB edition I've got is too heavy to carry around and read on the train etc, so I'm dipping in and out when I get moments at home. Once you're past the introduction the chapters are very short and digestible.

What the fuck is this nonsense?

Literature you pleb. Maybe you should stick to Harry Potter.

Wow genius explanation. So he’s showing the base, mundane, carnal, disgustingly corporeal nature of his farting, shitting, sneezing, digesting, imperfect companion, and juxtaposing this his almost divinely inspired love of her, despite his vulgar descriptions.

Read it again, and if that is seriously what you get from, it you are a brainlet.

What did you get from it then? Or is it the ol’ “everyone’s a brainlet but me” sentiment, the most brainlet of all outlooks?

Author was a woman shy shut in.

He is making a statement about love, and that it penetrates beyond the nasty deformities (which English women seem to have alot of) and that even ugly women can take the kingdom from the king. Even that deformities can become endearing when a man is attracted to a woman. I can´t exactly articulate it, as I am a brainlet myself, but it is really good.

I tried but I was too much of a brainlet. I couldn't even finish the intro without getting confused so I put it down. Maybe I'll try again in a few years.

That is almost exactly what I said. Why did you call me a brainlet? Hurt my feelings

It's more ironic than that and plainly humorous not so romantic.

My condolences brother, you know I can be a little rude occasionally.

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Is this before or after he beat that little boy’s ass?

pleb here. thank you for showing this to me, I'll read the translated version. Thank you so much I love you

Best description of beer goggles ive read, thx

None so dear as melancholy.

immediately after

Please please pretty please post more excerpts!

No man shall marry until he [665]be 25, no woman till she be 20, [666] nisi alitur dispensatum fuerit. If one [667]die, the other party shall not marry till six months after; and because many families are compelled to live niggardly, exhaust and undone by great dowers, [668]none shall be given at all, or very little, and that by supervisors rated, they that are foul shall have a greater portion; if fair, none at all, or very little: [669]howsoever not to exceed such a rate as those supervisors shall think fit. And when once they come to those years, poverty shall hinder no man from marriage, or any other respect, [670]but all shall be rather enforced than hindered, [671]except they be [672]dismembered, or grievously deformed, infirm, or visited with some enormous hereditary disease, in body or mind; in such cases upon a great pain, or mulct, [673]man or woman shall not marry, other order shall be taken for them to their content. If people overabound, they shall be eased by [674]colonies.

What other early examples of these exhaustive as fuck lists can you think of?
Hell, based on modern lit that quote looks pretty influential.

Addressee here. If youre a reader it's worth reading. To be fair it may be something younger anons may feel a need to work up to. Aubrey's Brief Lives I think's a good introduction to this style of of very involved baroque (or poetic) English writing.

thirty five whole dollars
found an NYRB at the used store for less

dude lists haha