ITT: Historical shit that in retrospective you just can't believe when you think about it.
>the british lost the Revolutionary War
I mean really:
A bunch of farmers and some french people over throw the most powerful goddamn empire on the planet. I mean in retrospect I can't believe this shit.
Or:
>no less than 25 assassination attempts on Hitler
>Fucking terminator Rasputin
>Goddamn everything with Caligula
And also:
>Hannibal brings goddamn fucking WAR ELEPHANTS mountaineering
>the americans won the revolutionary war thanks to funding and training from france*
>the poison put into Rasputin's food was impotent as it had been inserted before, rather than after baking, and by inexperienced poisoners
>half of Caligula's "insane" acts like harvesting seashells and giving his horse a seat at the table were mistranslations of the latin or misinterpretations of bygone senatorial politics*
Hannibal is pretty out there, I'll give you that
I'll concede the points yeah, but never Hannibal. Shit's fuckin' crazy.
>some random Roman general in Gaul held out virtually by himself for ten years after Rome itself fell.
>>half of Caligula's "insane" acts like harvesting seashells and giving his horse a seat at the table were mistranslations of the latin or misinterpretations of bygone senatorial politics*
And the other half is blatant lies created about a Claudio-Julian emperor by the Flavian-patronized Suetonius.
That's fuckin' hilarious. He just give up and quit one day or was defeated or what?
Andrew Jackson recruiting pirates in Battle of New Orleans.
I cannot believe they're gonna take him off the 20.
I can. He wouldn't have wanted to be on it in the first place, and he had a larger negative impact on the US than most all the other scrp-featured presidents combined.
Defeated by the Franks and Visigoths.
DO we have a national bank now?
Does the treasury count?
I still cannot believe how Pol Pot was a person people actually took seriously and respectfully took orders from. Defies all reason. Maybe living in a postmodern world I can't understand the mental processes of mid 20th century asian farmers (s/o to the CCP) but even with considering that it still boggles my mind.
Clear evidence of interference from time-travelers
Communist Revolutions in China:
>Hey you know what makes sense? Killing all the teachers and doctors and educators of our land because it's too Western to have proper educating
>Also lets kill all the bird while we're at it during the great leap forward and make farmers build smelters
They'd been in the woods for ages before that point.
I imagine if some guy had been leading you out in the jungle for like a decade, you'd listen to him pretty closely.
>the most powerful goddamn empire on the planet
~50 years to early for that to be the Brits
>all those tortures
For what purpose?
For what fucking purpose?
I mean even looking at it in the most practical, draconian way- what purpose does torturing all those people serve?
It's just wasteful. You're going to kill them anyway to what end does wasting time and resources make it a better option to torture someone for so long and so needlessly?
>Most powerful empire
They only had the best navy, granted that makes them a top tier power.
In terms of land power their troops were nowhere near French or Prussian tier or any major continental power for that matter.
Also keeping steady supply lines across an entire ocean is expensive and difficult to maintain for years on end, when the original plan was to have the colony sustain the troops partially in the first place.
they were having fun doing it
and also it encourages solidarity
>oh, what jolly good fun we had back in the days when we were smashing kid's skulls against trees like bongo drums. Really strenghtened our bonds, didnt it, lads?
Come on
I'm serious.
Humans are animals.
>A bunch of farmers and some french people over throw the most powerful goddamn empire on the planet.
The 13 states already had the GDP and population of a large European country. It would have been shocking if they didn't succeed in gaining autonomy not just by themselves but with French, Spanish, and Dutch help.
He battled the Franks, they agreed whoever will win that battle will take other's empire. Well he lost and Francs doubled in size, this was key point to their later domination of the whole region
Intimidation.
But most of the time, just pure hatred.
It isn't that uncommon at all in human history.
America had a lot of foreign support.
right
what's a lot Lancelot?
Are we really just gonna let this faggot's implications that England was some world hegemon in the 19th century to the point that he can't believe France kicked their ass slide?
sure I'm cool with that except you mean Great Britain, not England whatever.
Yeah, as if the Celtic fringe had any real power.
What, Scotland?
Not even Wales?
[spoiler]I really have no idea but the colonies staying subject doesn't seem like something which would concern either of them in a way larger than the occasional recruiting run and petty noble officers.[/spoiler]
beavers were pretty much all dead at that point
cotton I guess
tobacco
basic bitch tax shit
pride and standing in the European theater
Scotland and Wales cared about that stuff?
I mean, I know why Britain cared, but to me it seems like the former two could sit out the Revolution pretty safely.
>Scotland and Wales cared about that stuff?
they had representatives in Parliament, right? Really though desu I don't know how that Parliament thing actually works. I know they are disgusting usurpers of the rightful King James II but that's about all I can claim to know for certain.
>over throw the most powerful goddamn empire on the planet
Britain=/=France.
Oh, btw - France and Spain supported colonists.
>no less than 25 assassination attempts on Hitler
One of them cancelled when they've basically waited for him to get walk out of the toilet to shot him with sniper rifle.
Wanna crazy stuff? Check how many assassination attempts Fidel survived.
>Fucking terminator Rasputin
myth
>Goddamn everything with Caligula
Hard to tell, but just like Nero, he might have been inconvenient for senators so they've described him as crazy and then it became "history". Or maybe not, maybe it's true.
>most powerful Empire
The French and Spanish were already in serious decline by that point. Maybe Britain wasn't the most powerful in the sense of the European continent, but their ability to project power thousands of miles away was pretty much unmatched at the time.
France was still technically more powerful than the Brits back then
wasn't until the 19th century when Britannia ruled the waves
Nigga what? There's nothing surprising about France defeating Britain, France was the top dog at the time.
>200 spaniards destroyed the second largest, most hygienic city in the world at the time
>Killing all the teachers and doctors and educators of our land because it's too Western to have proper educating
That's Pol Pot.
People studying to be engineers & doctors fucking staffed the red guard.
*50
The 7 years war called
Still didn't really made them weaker. France was still a threat and the Brits still feared that France would use the revolutionary war as an excuse to undo all the things they got in the 7 years war.
tlaxcalans helped
American Patriots had more support in the colonies that the Tories did. The combined forces of both France and Spain meant that Britain could not transport as many supplies or soldiers over to America without getting their ships sunk, meaning that they couldn't reinforce their armies efficiently. Numbers of generals from various European nations went over and supported the Patriots, mainly French generals but also some Prussian. French had supplied the patriots with weaponry that was superior to Britain's weaponry at the time, plus Britain didn't really have large armies/manpower anyway and primarily relied on both diplomacy (as seen in India) and the Navy. All the while, Britain had to hold onto various other territories, including Minorca and the Channel Islands. It's really not too surprising that the British lost the revolutionary war, it is surprising that they managed to hold onto most of their other possessions.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that Britain was still suffering financially as a result of the 7 Years War.
I can't believe he actually killed the Bank. Most of (if not all) other presidents just do whatever bankers say.
And literal millions of native allies who weren't exactly naked tribesmen but experienced warriors with pretty much the same equipment as the aztecs. It was a general revolt against the aztecs who had been pretty shitty rulers desu.
>A bunch of farmers and some french people over throw the most powerful goddamn empire on the planet.
Are you fucking joking? France, Spain, Portugal and the Netherlands all had colonies. France was one of the most powerful states in the world.
dude Britain was rich but never was that much powerful regarding the military
they had control of the seas, but that's it
What was the guy's name? I can't seem to find anything about him
Aegidius, Dux of the Kindom of Soissons
>Dux
So he remained in power under the Franks? Not a bad deal desu.
>foreigners learning that the french aided the americans
>since that's all they know about the conflict they think the french did everything
literally the dumbest shit imaginable and it's shameful
Nah he died before his kingdom was lost to the Franks. The person who lost the kingdom was his son at the battle of Soissons
France was a great alley to us during our revolution. Their revolution was indeed something very special in history.
No one said anything about them doing everything though. When I hear the word, a red flag shoots up in my head.
he never should have been on it in the first place, even setting aside his questionable legacy he wouldn't have wanted to be on it in the first place.
also they aren't taking him off the 20, they're moving him to the back
Cortez's arrival was convenient but even without him a major Totonac uprising with the potential to destroy the tripple aliance was imminent