Just how fucked Publius Quinctilius Varus get at Teutoburg Forest?
>Marching my legion through a forest to crush barbaric rebels
>fuckingsavages.jpeg
>hear yelling coming from the woods
>shitpants.exe
>not ready for this
>fuckingsavages.exe
>legions destroyed by germanic caveniggers
>mfw roman tactics cant save us now
>deded
Not only was this the greatest cucking in the history of the universe, it was also the moment when the romans realized they were inferior to germanics on every level
>that picture
>no height discrepancy
>horned helmets
>none of them carrying spears or sheilds
germans vs romans would look like adult men of today fighting well armoured children. Germans would have shields and spears. Probably not every single on of them was blond. Their bodies would be massive in comparison to the romans. Their horses would be the size of ponies
Would they really be that much taller? At all in fact? Why do you think this?
up to 6 feet tall, roman men were like 5'4. So imagine yourself in middle school fighting your 6ft teacher or a senior
Superior germanics were about 7ft tool, but the "Romans" took away our special Aryan powers and empire.
History books won't tell you, but up until Claudius (real name Klaus) all Romans were actually Germanic. The trickster jew Nero usurped the peaceful throne, and genocided the Germanic Romans.
I could show some sources proving this (for example most statues were painted Aryan and white) but I'm on my phone and don't have the time.
so is your satire actually implying that the statues wouldn't have been painted white and that romans therefore weren't white? also why are you using real evidence in your satire? do you realise your pic is a reconstruction based on the trace pigments left on the statue?
No the Romans were white and Germanic, not swarthy skinned and negro-like as modern """""historians""""" would suggest.
no modern historian suggests that they were swarthy skinned or negro-like. If your definition of swarthy means indian or arabian then romans were not swarthy, If you consider mediterraneans swarthy then germanic people certainly are too, pic related
>Brow hair
>Brownish/Amber/Hazel eyes
Oh my god he's 100% Nordic from Norway now I finally see the Romans were all 100% Nordics no doubt about it!
nobody is claiming that, but clearly he doesn't look like your typical modern italian. Also do you think everyone in scandinavia has blond hair and blue eyes?
So fucked that the only quote that any one remembers is "Varus give me back my legions" as if that shit was his fault and any other Roman general could have handled the fucking germaniggers.
So fucked, Suetonius writes that Augustus feared for the survival of the Empire (which is most likely exaggeration).
>nobody is claiming that, but clearly he doesn't look like your typical modern Italian
Oh tell me about it.
I'm an Italian from South Italy (Sardinia) and I have light skin and I'm tall, that must mean I'm a "viking raper baby" isn't it?
Please fuck off.
I've lived in Italy all my life and everywhere in Italy there are fair people, much fairer than that depiction of Caligula, who does look like the average central Italian.
>Also do you think everyone in scandinavia has blond hair and blue eyes?
No, I was mocking poltards, who think everyone with blue eyes is a "viking rape baby/Nordic" and everyone with brown eyes is a "sand nigger/ moor"
>I've lived in Italy all my life and everywhere in Italy there are fair people, much fairer than that depiction of Caligula, who does look like the average central Italian.
he looks kind of british
>Marchesentirearmyintoamarshtosavebarbarians
>ThinksItwasagoodidea
That's because brits are essentially nordic rape babies, just like the Romans were.
It's why Haitian had to secure the borders, he was fucking shitting himself over Nordic supremacy.
>lose 10% of the legions
VARUUUUUUUS
>I'm an Italian from South Italy (Sardinia)
no sardinian would say so
>I read on Veeky Forums that sardinians are a genetic isolate from other italians and europeans and originated in the middle east tens of thousands of years ago, therefore no sardinian would ever claimed to be italian. I have never met a sardinian, I have never been to sardinia or italy, and I know nothing else about sardinians
It also provoked one of the most hilarious temper tantrums ever.
>So great was the shame, and the ill luck thought to adhere to the numbers of the Legions, that XVII, XVIII and XIX never again appear in the Roman Army's order of battle. The Battle of the Teutoburg Forest was keenly felt by Augustus, darkening his remaining years.
>According to the biographer Suetonius, upon hearing the news, Augustus tore his clothes, refused to cut his hair for months and, for years afterwards, was heard, upon occasion, to moan, "Quinctilius Varus, give me back my Legions!" (Quintili Vare, legiones redde!)
Yes yes well done Varus, well done yes. HOWEVER
Italians originated in the middle east as much as Sardinians.
Plus Western Anatolia is not exactly the middle east
>Gibbondescribes Augustus' reaction to the defeat as one of the few times the normally stoic ruler lost his composure. Varus' political legacy in Rome was destroyed, and the government blamed him for the defeat.[19]His son's chances for a political career were ruined. Tiberius himself fell under severe criticism for recommending Varus as the governor of Germania. Tiberius, according to Gaius Stern, was forced to sacrifice his friend and former brother-in-law to save his career.[20]Furthermore, Varus himself had been one of the figures on theAra Pacis, but the figure is lost today.
Wow.
That's called yearly vacations to Thailand. The minimum height requirement to join the legion was 5´10 and I believe that Germanics were only slightly taller.
That's why germanics were BTFO'd the second a competent roman came to deal with Arminius?
He looks way more italian than scandinavian. While handsome he doesn't have the weak/soft features typical of shaved scandinavian faces and he also lacks the chink eyes and piggy nose typical of nordics (clearly visible here )
Germanicus handled them well like his name shows.
Kek, pure bullshit, Romans were manlets around 164 cm on average
>The minimum height requirement to join the legion was 5´10
Oh so that's why losing 10% of the legion in one battle is possible. They only had like maybe 2,500 men in the entire empire that reached or exceeded that height!
Germanics had a much more protein-rich diet
>"die roman swine" starts playing
>Germanics were 7 feet tall
>Tallness isn't merely a genetic trait, it is an environmental trait that is endorsed by a steady food supply
>Germanics were about 7ft tall (tool? Lol wtf)
Kys
Why are you even replying to his babby-tier bait? I thought you were better than that, lads.
Top Kek
If this hadn't happened I bet Rome would have expanded even more and potentially crumbled faster
>That's called yearly vacations to Thailand.
so what? most slavs and british islanders can't tan that well
>He looks way more italian than scandinavian.
No he doesn't look scandinavian, and the only one who has mentioned anything about him looking scandinavian is you. He's not particularly handsome either, hence the british resemblance. He also doesn't look italian. Your typical modern italian phenotype is middle eastern thanks to generations of mixing with migrants and slaves.
>While handsome he doesn't have the weak/soft features typical of shaved scandinavian faces
scandinavians have strong features...strong jaws, chins and brows, large noses, maybe want you mean is that they have good bone structure and are not fugly and arab looking with monobrows and noses as large and mishapen as italians
>lacks the chink eyes and piggy nose typical of nordics
she is saami, but her skin's complexion is typically germanic.
Varus was the reason they were attacking Romans in the first place. Guy was robbing Germania blind just like he did in Syria.
This incident became a German national myth facilitated by the flawed records. Newest archeological findings suggest a more complex sequence of roman expeditions into barbary with several conflicts. It is all but clear where the supposed ambush happened.
The success of the barbarian side may be due to them having adopted roman military customs. Arminius was a trained roman commander with a political agenda, mainly securing chieftainship for his house. He got shanked by relatives.
Spine-chilling of course the accounts of a roman expeditionary force entering the woods years after the battle. They found the mutilated skeletons of the officers in sacrificial groves, where they were beastially slain for the glory of dark gods.
Fun fact, the driving force for what my commanding sergeant/Feldwebel in the cold-war-era army was doing for a job was the Arminius myth, keeping out those pesky invaders ("What have the romans ever done for us"), be they Romans or Russians.
Germanics were not 7ft tall, they were 8ft tall and on average twice as large as the biggest Roman soldier.
The bastards took our genes away so we don't look like that anymore.
>bait
It's a joke, mong
...
>cave niggers
telegraph.co.uk
While English people had an average brain size of 1,416ml, the figure in Micronesia, which lies very near the equator, was just 1,200ml.
In contrast Scandinavians, the most northerly population tested, had a brain capacity of 1,484ml - more than 20 per cent higher than Micronesia.
A similar difference was seen in eye volume, with English skulls indicating an average of 26.22ml, compared with 26.83 in Scandinavia and 21.83 in Micronesia.
>.jpeg instead of .mosaic
>.exe instead of tabula
Absolutely disgusting.
Then the romans came again and slaughtered the germanic barbarians and enslaved them.
Germanicus' own campaigns in Germania made him famous after avenging the defeat at the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest and retrieving two of the three legionary eagles that had been lost during the battle. Beloved by the people, he was widely considered to be the perfect Roman long after his death.[1] The Roman people for centuries would consider him as Rome's Alexander the Great due to the nature of his death at a young age, his virtuous character, his dashing physique and his military renown.[2]
en.wikipedia.org
history-world.org
tiny brained southerners can't handle it.