Why aren't you Mormon, Veeky Forums?

There used to be a time when blackness was considered the mark of Cain, I believe.

There are black Mormons now, tho.

Mormons believe that niggers are black because they are cursed souls that didn't take a side in some war against Satan and God or some shit. Up until the 1970s or so they did not allow blacks to become part of the Mormon clergy.

This. In order to be Mormon you pretty much have to be born into it and indoctrinated from childhood. The people who actually convert are all psychos and morons. Pic related.

It's funny to note that this was put into effect under Brigham's rule, Joseph Smith ordained at least two priesthood holders.

Well that's their choice. I think I have a right to be suspicious about the fact that the 'divine revalation' about blacks not being inferior came a few years after the American civil rights movement. Seems kinda fishy if you ask me.

Because I don't want 15 children with 3 different wives, and I want to have sex out of wedlock and drink tea and coffee.

>Up until the 1970s
Coincidentally as the Civil Rights movement gained serious ground. What a fucking joke

Uh, I just checked wikipedia.

>From the beginning, black people have been members of Mormon congregations, and Mormon congregations have always been inter-racial. When the Mormons migrated to Missouri they encountered the pro-slavery sentiments of their neighbors. Joseph Smith upheld the laws regarding slaves and slaveholders, and affirmed the curse of Ham as placing his descendants into slavery, "to the shame and confusion of all who have cried out against the South,"[1][2] but remained abolitionist in his actions and doctrines. After the Mormons were expelled from Missouri, Smith took an increasingly strong anti-slavery position, and a few black men were ordained to the LDS priesthood.
How did he manage to keep those first black Mormons while preaching about the divine right of slavers?

The brownest spic I know is Peruvian and a Mormon

I'm not a heretic

>How did he manage to keep those first black Mormons while preaching about the divine right of slavers?
Because people are idiots that will accept any part of their theology if some parts make them feel good.

Yeah unfortunately the Mormons send missions to Peru despite the fact that it's already a Christian country. Mormons aren't really the sharpest tools in the shed.

At least they're smart enough not to go to a place like a Nig(g)er

Nah they're just cowards.

SOME

BODY

Either that or they're just doing it to please the person their marrying, i.e. my cousin

...

ONCE

>despite the fact that it's already a Christian country
but not a Mormon country. why should they not preach to other christians?

Because in the Mormon cosmology Christians are already going to heaven (not the highest 'level' of heaven but still heaven.)

Because their religion is just as stupid as every other religion...

...

TOLD ME

This man is a moron?
Err.

Mormon?
I knew already that he was a moron.

THE

WORLD'S

GONNA

shouldn't people in Peru get a chance to become a God of their own planet too?

Ex-mormon here, it's shit. Just complete shit. The horrible history of the Americas presented in the book of Mormon. The about turns on racial discrimination priesthood bans and polygamy based solely on outside pressure. The proven fraud of Smith and Young. It's worthless.

Hell you can even see how Smith made up his own version of the Godhead because in the book of Mormon a Modalist concept is promoted.

Hell you guys want to know how bad it can get sometimes? I thought hand holding was what people meant when they were talking about hand jobs until I was fifteen. Granted that was because I have a hand fetish and got aroused by it. Even funnier was that the first time I became aroused sexually I thought I was still sick and possibly dying.

Woah I didn't know he was Mormon, fucking kek

He converted from Catholicism too, that's so heretic even this atheist feels judgmental.

>The people who actually convert are all psychos and morons. Pic related.
it fits with his personality: man who sees society spiraling out of control and loss of focus on the familial unit seeks ideology that reinforces to an extreme degree what he thinks is lacking.

Ah yes, the promise of the eternal family. It's lured many a convert. The possibility of getting your own planet is also nice. Although exaltation is only relevant if you're a guy, if you're a lady you just become a cosmic baby factory who is only spoken of in the occasional hymn or whispered in New order circles by feminists or the gay feminists.

>DUDE PLANETS LMAO
Better yet, why would I be a Mormon?

>implying I wouldn't do that too if I were God

> I thought hand holding was what people meant when they were talking about hand jobs until I was fifteen. Granted that was because I have a hand fetish and got aroused by it. Even funnier was that the first time I became aroused sexually I thought I was still sick and possibly dying.

lmao

I blame Americanization

Mormonism is the most goddamn American religion on the planet. Which was probably Smith's intention.

Let's have a serious discussion: What made Mormonism so much more successful and enduring than other new religious movements that swept New York's burned-out district in the early-1800s? Was it the tightness of community? The resilience of its membership? Maybe Joseph Smith's manipulative skills?

*Burned-over, I should say

Well, there was probably a lot of self-selection for people seeking radical ideas among people moving to the burned-over district. And what could be more radical than a religion with a brand-new holy book? Combine with that the inclusion of other existing fringe beliefs such as the lost tribe theory, and an emphasis on American exceptionalism and you have a winning formula.

Mormonism is fanfiction for protestants.

Joseph Smith is already an obvious con-artist and fraud but the Book of Abraham is the hilarious smoking gun that confirms everything. No other religion has the mental gymnastics the Mormons do when it comes to that book, none but maybe Scientologists.

>the promise of the eternal family

I can think of no blacker a hell.

Joseph Smith was a prophet
Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb

Because I'm not retarded.

because shit teir bible fan fiction is no good basis for faith

Are you telling me that Elder Price's story is made up?

You gotta admit, Joseph was really ahead of his time. The first true science fiction author.

Really? Ask a Christian to explain why God allowed the pseudo-eponymous Pauline epistles into the canon, or the synoptic problem.
They'll just stutter on about holy spirit and faith.

Yeah every religion has inconsistencies but very few have a document proving their prophet or godman man to be a fake. This would be like if we found a letter written by an apostle saying they found jesus' body and decided to make up the resurrection story.

It would be more interesting if we had anything at all written by Jesus's actual apostles (Paul doesn't count because he's pretty up front that he never met a physical Jesus while he was alive).

Because I'm not retarded

fuck off

Funny, I say the same thing about the Tanakh vs the New Testament.

Is this a reasonable reason for a reasonable person to not believe in an unreasonable religion like Mormonism?

Agreed, but not quite.
There are a few NT books that are genuinely well written, however Mark, all of the genuine Pauline epistles, and a few others are pretty laughable when it comes to grammar and prose, and that just happens to be almost the entirety of the NT.

At least with the Bible we have differing styles of prose though. The Book of Mormon is the same fucking shit throughout and it's actually really grating to read.
Lately I've been reading the original BoM manuscript and I literally think I'll kill somebody if read "And it came to pass" one more fucking time.

>stop stating historical facts! cater to my religious sensitibities!

I don't quite understand this. What persuaded him to think of this concept? By what distinction does the penalty "death on the spot" mean? Does the man die immediately or at the point of birth? Did he witness a white man nut into a black woman and then proceed to have a heart attack?

What did he mean?

He probably had direct encounter with one of their kind.

I hope he isn't from ica.

Dear God we made fun of his dumb religion all the tjme

>all blondes
H
Where my negress, Asian and Latinas at

Jhon Ferrier was right about those fuckers

It's heaven, why would you want anything but blonde hair, blue eyed qts?

#AllGodessesMatter

Because that's shit tier

>lel Christianity came to the Americas before the Europeans
>our american Christianity (which is pseudo-Christianity at best) is better than actual christianity
nah man,

Sounds like average branch of Christianity to me.

I'm Catholic.

>not coal black hair and bronze skin

Get out.

Because gnosticism is way cooler

I very highly recommend the book, Under the Banner of Heaven by John Krakauer, for you Veeky Forumstorians ITT.

NYT review
>nytimes.com/2003/08/03/books/thou-shalt-kill.html

The book tells the complete history of Joseph Smith and the history of Mormonism and the FLDS in the U.S., giving answers to questions like
>I know that Mormonism is a scam but what does it have to do with race?
>How did he manage to keep those first black Mormons while preaching about the divine right of slavers?
and especially
>What made Mormonism so much more successful and enduring than other new religious movements that swept New York's burned-out district in the early-1800s? Was it the tightness of community? The resilience of its membership? Maybe Joseph Smith's manipulative skills?

The book combines the telling of Mormon history with the story of Ron and Dan Lafferty, who murdered their sister-in-law and her 15-month-old daughter in 1984 because God commanded them to do so through divine revelation, a tenet of the faith from the Days of Joseph Smith himself. There;s also mention of the abduction of Elizabeth Smart.
>eom.byu.edu/index.php/Revelation

Lafferty Trial
>leagle.com/decision/200136220P3d342_1352/STATE v. LAFFERTY

Here are "two excerpts from the book—five paragraphs from the Prologue, and Chapter Twelve in its entirety—which provide insight not only into the rationale given by the Lafferty brothers to justify these murders, but also into the rationale offered by the Bundy brothers for their own transgressive acts."
- The Fundamentalist Religious Views That Inspired Ammon Bundy and His Militia to Occupy a Remote Federal Facility in Oregon: Jon Krakauer
>medium.com/galleys/the-fundamentalist-religious-views-that-inspired-ammon-bundy-and-his-militia-to-occupy-a-remote-9f0f5d0970c5#.snjgh0aiv

>>leagle.com/decision/200136220P3d342_1352/STATE v. LAFFERTY

oops, that's an appeal of Ron's, looks like. I'll post a correction if I find a link for the any of the original trials.

>Because I don't want 15 children with 3 different wives
Cuck
> I want to have sex out of wedlock
>Implying that you can

The mormon concept of the godhead is cool and makes sense, like god being a male and their being a mother, but you can get this in many other religions as well

Because I read the CES letter.

I respect your belief however there are various inconsistencies with the Mormon Godhead because they don't believe LORD in the OT is YHWH, rather they believe it is Jesus. The missionaries I studied with were unable to provide an adequate explanation to my question regarding this.

I'm not into Christian-American fanfiction.

But that makes no sense, polygamy would be the only thing that could convince me to become a mormon.

I fucking love that book, user.

WHAT IF

the book of Mormon was intended to be religious satire, but people started taking it seriously so Joseph Smith took advantage of it.

Didn't they change their stance on caffeine recently?

that's cool. I actually read it twice. I also loved
>pic related

I find cults in general really interesting. (Anytime the characters from Nikki and Bill's family in FLDS were on were the best parts of Big Love for me.)

Anyone know any good documentaries on FLDS sects? I saw an ad for some "Escaping Polygamy" reality TV show, but I suspect it's fake/scripted like other "reality" shows.
or any other book suggestions?

Any Mormons or ex-Mormons care to comment on "Big Love" or "Sister Wives", or have any experiences related to FLDS or polygamy to share?

>2016
>religion

I'm not insane-lite. (And if I was truly bonkers, I'd be a Scientologist.)

*tips fedora*

*tips cross*

>They're not allowed to drink tea
Tha fuck? I mean coffee is one thing, but tea?