Why are most philosophers unmarried and childless?

The Total Perspective Vortex derives its picture of the whole Universe on the principle of
extrapolated matter analyses.

To explain - since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other
piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation - every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small
piece of fairy cake.

The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically in order to annoy his wife.
Trin Tragula - for that was his name - was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as
his wife would have it, an idiot.

And she would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of time he spent staring
out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety pins, or doing spectrographic analyses of pieces
of fairy cake.

"Have some sense of proportion!" she would say, sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a
single day.

And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex - just to show her.

And into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake, and into
the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she saw in one instant the whole
infinity of creation and herself in relation to it.

To Trin Tragula's horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he
realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the
one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.

Why are you?

Aspergers

There once was a monk, who dreamed his was a butterfly. When he awoke, he could not tell if he was a monk who had just dreamed that he was a butterfly, or if he were a butterfly who is now dreaming he is a monk.

[spoiler]while he was wasting his time doing this, I was fucking his wife[/spoiler]

I once dated a girl who claimed she loved philosophy. She couldn't name her favorite philosopher, didn't know any philosophical works to discuss them, and kept complaining about how "logical and scientific" I am.

...what SHE meant about being "philosophical" was that she likes to think of herself as a deep thinker but doesn't actually want to do any, you know, thinking. When the relationship ended she said "we just don't share the same life philosophies." No shit, bitch. You don't HAVE a philosophy.

>>>>>YOU HAVE TO GO BACK

It would be nice if a woman could comment on my refutation to Parmenides but I don't want a woman for that. But I'm not a philosopher, so there's that.

/pol/ is all for traditional values and having children. Most of them are against the whole MGTOW thing.

This guy may be edgy, but he is more /r9k/ than /pol/.
Not everyone you don't agree with is from /pol/.

Most were too busy

Hume was just fat, and Scottish

Damn dude I was just about to subscribe to your blog but then I realized this is an image board and not a blog
Fancy that

Not to sound cheesy in any sense, but I imagine that they give off a certain unsettling vibe. From the fact that a lot of them seem unaffected by heavy social isolation, to the fact that they have the narcissism to write books about their thoughts and oftentimes the presumptuousness to proclaim these thoughts as some kind of divine truth, to the fact that they seemingly tend to obsess about things no other person bothers to think about more than twice at best; this all, I'd say, gives off the impression of someone who has severe emotional imbalances, and who is therefore not someone with whom you want to raise your child with. Or, in other words, many philosophers are fucking crazy.

Oh, and some probably diidn't even give fuck - which is the mark of a weird person as well.

>all the german idealists had children

Really makes you think.

I hate to sound basic but yeah, I would just say this.

To me it seems like this feminine characters and their reputation to complain to a degree wouldnt be seen as attractive,
especially when compared to all the badass warheros that were surrounding them.

Why are most bachelors unmarried males?

Women are literally repulsed by the image of the genuinely intelligent men, they find them cold and calculating or they find them difficult to control or relate to. If they hear a man is intelligent, they'll first pretend it's interesting, because women project their own sexual attraction and basically want a man to recognise their own intelligence, but it's actually a warning sign for them.

These are the women who say nuh huh to what I just wrote.

They're not actually attracted to rationality but are attracted to sophistry. They're the types who'd fall for Charlie Manson or be picked up by Simone de Beauvoir or some other lesbian feminist that's an expert at emotional manipulation. They're the "romantic artist" types, not necessarily the "romantic philosopher" types.

This too.

Guys who have introverted past times make women believe (usually falsely) that they're asocial. This is confounded by the fact many intelligent men aren't as impressionable to social stereotypes, for instance, you might genuinely like classical but to her that frames you as "square" at best and an outright Nazi at worst.

If you're like this all you have to do is recognise that women aren't attracted to your intelligence, they're attracted to your ability to understand them. You'll relate to them much better than even average men if you simply listen, understand, mirror some phrases, paraphrase a bit and keep them talking. If you're actually intelligent and actually into philosophy, there's a good chance you could pretend every statement she makes is something deeper.

The real problem about intelligent people is when they're self absorbed. People are extremely off put when someone is talking and they don't understand; first they're confused and then they feel insulted and it all ends up to be your fault. If you're intelligent this isn't something you could relate to so it becomes easy to forget: people don't like being confused, it makes you instantly unrelatable.

They were the shitposting autists before the internet. Today we now refer to them as Australians

>a one of the weirdest and socially offputting people you can imagine
>still has wife and family
Yet another reason Nick Land is the greatest philosopher alive.

find the summerfag.

While I don't totally agree with the emotional imbalances part (many are too unemotional), this seems fairly accurate. Women (not to say they can't be philosophers, but females philosophers don't seem to have this problem) date someone because they want a social partner who is emotionally available and emotionally supportive, and later in life to start a family and have children.

If you're the philosopher-type to obsess over what some guy wrote in the 18th Century or can coolly rationalize why mass murder is an appropriate action to take to achieve X ideological goal, you don't seem very warm, and even partners who like philosophy want some emotional warmth; if they wanted a debate, they would go elsewhere. Also, compromises are a big part of marriage, and philosophical arguments and the people who make them don't lend themselves well to compromise.

Philosophy lends itself to problems which are bigger than this life, but relationships are all about this life. Women don't want to be with someone who will tell them the "truth" about how the world should be, even if they agree on it, when all types of normal stuff to do like going out for a date and taking the dog to the vet, and it doesn't send a good sign about someone's willingness to care for children (or their marriage) when someone is so invested in something more metaphysical or transcendental, or even political.

I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known

Well, David Hume was clearly a eunuch