/ink/ - Splatoon General

PATRICK IS NOT A FUCKING GIRL

Sea stars don't have genders?

Spaghetti-o's > Woomies
Dogs > Cats
Slides > Coasters
Hot dogs > Marshmallows
Decepticons > Autobots
Science > art
Planes > Cars
Pirates > Ninjas
Burgers > Pizza
Naughty > Nice
Past > Future
Blue > Red
Snowmen > Sandcastles
Patrick > Spongebob

Patrick does

He sexually identifies as the letter M

Nah, it should be set to W for wumbo.

Honest to fuck I actually prefer this cancer over the Octoposters

>want to try out jet squelcher
>shit this gun is pretty cool
>not the fastest at killing but its really good for area denial and backline support
>losing constantly because my team cannot fucking go half a second without dying
>have to go back to playing rushdown carry weapons just to stand a chance

Why is this game so fucking terrible

...

How about that sex with Marie tho

She liked it, really. It was nice while it lasted.

I want to drink Marie's milk!

...

She'd love that

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>Me and my team

...

>Five players
Hax

There's not nearly enough Marie pics like this

Maybe it is an enemy trying to flank them like a pro

clearly a squib that couldn't make it before the squad filled up

I think it's still up in the air.
I'm on Patrick and I had about a 1:3 win/loss rate and got at least 8 mirror matches. One time I even lost 6 matches in a row. I don't consider myself a bad player either, but sometimes Spongebob is just filled with better players who completely shut down me and my team.

There are not enough Marie

One is not enough,
Isn't she?

After the Lemon Tea vs Milk Tea Splatfest in Japan, it was practically affirmed that Marie was the milky squid, therefore had all the titties.

There was also way too much art of Callie pissing as a result of the 'lemon juice' aspect of things

No. Never enough.

God bless Japan. It might just be my imagination, but I swear Marie has a slightly bigger chest in-game too.

Good thing too; I prefer Callie and I think she's cuter with little boobs.

>Too much art of callie pissing as a result of the 'lemon juice' aspect of things

Jesus Christ how horrifying. I was expecting some but damn, not expecting this much. I wonder if they also draw Callie drinking said pee tea.

None of her drinking it graciously.
There is however art of her drinking Marie's piss though, but that's a different matter entirely.

Big tiddies suits her better, considering she has shorter hair

I wish I were a Bara Squid

It almost seems more fair that way; long tentacles are probably a more erotic feature than breasts in the Inkling world.
For Callie to have her record-breakers and tits would be overkill on Marie's behalf.
Which is why Callie packs the better butt.

got a link?

How long are Callie's tentacles?

This is my first Splatfest, does the connection always get worse this late at night/early in the morning? I feel like every other game I'm having connection issues, and I've made sure it's not on my end.

Also, the Spongebob players must have woke up because earlier there was more back and forth and now every game I'm playing I'm getting slaughtered. Finally broke 10k in Squid Jump so I'm proud of myself and my Miiverse post actually broke 200 Yeah's which was neat.

Long enough for both a hug and a tentaclejob

Long enough to get stuck in her butthole while she showers

Americans go to sleep, Europeans are awake
Connections get harder to maintain

strawpoll.me/10033563
strawpoll.me/10033563
strawpoll.me/10033563

Time to make those predictions

The connections are always hit or miss, you are playing at a weird time where murricans should be asleep (2am-5am) and the brits should of been awake for a few hours now (10 am in London, give or take a few hours)

So there will be ping/disconnects

Supposedly the height of the ordinary Inklings is 5 foot, putting Callie and Marie at roughly~ 6.1-6.5 foot.
If you unwound Callie's tentacles they drag on the ground behind her; almost 1.5 times the length of her entire body.
That amounts to TWENTY-ONE total feet of tentacle.

They're way too thick to fit in any buttholes.
But lord knows every Squidgirl ever has tried.

Me too bro

I'm an American and I usually play around this time, and I've never had an issue - I guess there are just too many people on for Splatfests. The EU and NA aren't playing against each other, correct? Or is it one big lot of all of us playing?

>Supposedly the height of the ordinary Inklings is 5 foot, putting Callie and Marie at roughly~ 6.1-6.5 foot.
No way

Yeah, this is the first time NA and EU are together for Splatfest

will back up, both NA and EU are sharing a splatfest this time around for the first (and hopefully last) time

>Marie! Marie help!
>What is it Calli- OH MY GOD
>Marie it hurts so bad! Please help me!
>Wha... how... WHY!?
>I don't know! It uh... felt... nice... but now it's stuck!
>I-I'll call an ambulance! Or a tow truck...

Callie and Marie are head and shoulders taller than the other Squids ingame.

Won't be the last time. The game is unplayable for Europe if they are alone because the game is just that dead there.

Yeah but are the Inklings really 5ft tall?

Can't really know for certain. Not much to compare them to since everything in the game is in cartoon proportions.

However the closest bet is that a Sunken Scroll mentions Inklings can jump 5 feet, which is conveniently their own height.

Time to derail the thread
Gyro or Sticks?

Sticks is so much easier

Both

...

Gyro for Y-axis movement (and sometimes a sharp x-axis movement with the help of my computer chair)
Stick for X-axis movement

I'm used to sticks, can't play with gyro at all.

Gyro, you don't get the precise minute adjustments with sticks alone

I wish all Shooters had Splatoon controls now.

>I am carrying with the H-3 Nozzlenose
How

Either that or Wii remote + nunchuk

>Decide to use the Berry Splattershot for the first time
This thing is a fucking monster. I actually pity anyone on the other end of it
This thing can do things that it shouldn't even be able to do.

That awful Ink consumption though. If you use Subs a lot like me, it's borderline unusable.

>start using Wasabi Splattershot
>go 10-1

>yfw connection lost the moment your team is winning

And this shit is, lately, occurring frequently too

I'm well used to it coming off of Splatlings and I don't normally use Subs unless they're utility like Ink Wall, etc, etc.

It's a shame because Suction Bombs are best used spammed. And the SSP charges the Special that literally lets you spam them so damn slowly.

What's the weapon you have chosen for this splatfest and why.

I usually use Neo Splash-o-Matic, but this time I decided to try Wasabi Splattershot

This Splatfest is fucking shit. I'm constantly getting my shit pushed in so it's no longer fun, and the European connection is fucking abysmal. I literally can't stay with one team more than once because the connection craps out.

Maybe I shouldn't have ranked up to S ;_;

How the fuck are Spongebob and Patrick not at least vaguely even in popularity? I seriously got 75% Patrick mirror matches on my way to royalty.

>full save scummed gear
>even the splat shirt is all damage ups

Some people take this shit very seriously.

My guess is everyone expected Spongebob to win so they picked Patrick

And then Patrick wins anyway

I got lucky and got all 3 damage ups on the splatfest tee without even trying

It has a high tendency to roll damage ups

Marie is such a cutie

slow ass threads with NA and EU with a joint splatfest... oh well

It's dragged on for too long; nothing else to do now

Joint splatfest with a shitty theme!

Getting a natural tripple on the splatfest shirt has happened twice for me already

well that was a reasonably close match, i guess
damn it aimu

iamu*
it's already fucking morning over here what am i doing with my life

This splatfest made me realize how much I hate Depot.

This splatfest made me realize how much I hate Turf War.

This splatfest made me realize how much I hate Splatoon.

Might be the pack of idiots you're paired up with. Sometimes I want to strangle them.

Funny, this splatfest has made me realise how much I appreciate that stage. I just love hurling down on people and splatting them.
I guess it all depends on weapon choice

Lonar? or who is this?

Is Patrick going to win?

It could go either way desu