How can I short my own life
How can I short my own life
Brandon Hall
Aiden Richardson
Take out a life insurance policy before committing suicide
Tyler Perez
Take limb insurance, cut of arm
Cameron Adams
blow up some kuffars and get 72 virgins
Wyatt Scott
>Purchase -9001 shares of yourself
>Wait for others to believe in you and "borrow" shares
>Disappoint them
>They sell stock in you
>???
>PROFIT
Caleb Nelson
Preferably by pissing off some gangsters, so it won't look like suicide.
Jackson Nelson
Insurance fag here.
You have to wait 2 years typically
"suicide exclusion period"
Luis Nguyen
You already are. Your employer is borrowing you, and after 50 years he'll give you back worth less than you are now.
Joseph Brown
OP already fucked up and went straight to the disappointment step
Ethan Lopez
There's a book called The Unincorporated Man. A few centuries in the future, every person is "incorporated" at birth, allowing people to buy shares in him. Each parent gets 10%, the government gets 5%, and you're left with 75% of your own shares. You typically have to sell a bunch of your shares to go to college. Any person's shares can be bought and sold by anyone.
goodreads.com
Unfortunately, after thinking up this cool setting, the authors shat all over it by making the protagonist a human popsicle who's old enough to be "unincorporated" and starts a political upheaval to eliminate incorporation, which he views as some kind of slavery or something. I think I gave up a few pages into the sequel.
Jackson Jenkins
Join the army.
Jeremiah Jenkins
this is actually it. also sell organs.
Thomas Cruz
Sign up for one of those gigs where they test new meds on you, anti depressants and anti psychotics, should net you anywhere from $100 to $10k depending on the length of trial and stuff
Blake Gray
Long $ROPE
Jaxon Garcia
Robbing a bank
>risky
>huge payoff if successful
Jeremiah Rogers
fbi.gov
$38.5m total. 5000 robberies. $7700 per robbery.
>huge payoff
>huge payoff
>huge payoff
Tyler Taylor
also depending on the policy, there might be a huge reduction in the payout after those 2 years if its suicide. make it look like an accident.
Jack Ramirez
Join the Republican Party
James Hill
This
Cooper Mitchell
Kek
Aiden Wilson
>all robberies are successful
>not just robbing online
Aiden Butler
Get married and have kids
Brandon Sullivan
OP if you want to kill yourself but can`t because of family, we`re in the same boat.
I have put much thought into this and the best thing I came up with is playing video games to have time rushing by. If you`re not into video games, do sports you enjoy, watch movies. Time flies by.
I`m saving money for a time when cyrogenic sleep will be available. Then I say `Hi` to my family every two weeks after two days of getting in shape again (brain, muscles) and the rest of my life will be shortened by 12/14.
This might be a illusion but it`s the only thing that keeps me going.
Jackson Hall
You could also find someone from a poor country who looks like you and disappear for a few years. Pay him to play you for you family. If your family notices it`s not you (keep in mind you had disappeared for a few years), you play it off as a shitty joke or like he tried to take your place without you knowing.
Oliver Wood
PFFFFT