How can I short my own life
How can I short my own life
All urls found in this thread:
Take out a life insurance policy before committing suicide
Take limb insurance, cut of arm
blow up some kuffars and get 72 virgins
Purchase -9001 shares of yourself
Wait for others to believe in you and "borrow" shares
They sell stock in you
Preferably by pissing off some gangsters, so it won't look like suicide.
Insurance fag here.
You have to wait 2 years typically
"suicide exclusion period"
You already are. Your employer is borrowing you, and after 50 years he'll give you back worth less than you are now.
OP already fucked up and went straight to the disappointment step
There's a book called The Unincorporated Man. A few centuries in the future, every person is "incorporated" at birth, allowing people to buy shares in him. Each parent gets 10%, the government gets 5%, and you're left with 75% of your own shares. You typically have to sell a bunch of your shares to go to college. Any person's shares can be bought and sold by anyone.
Unfortunately, after thinking up this cool setting, the authors shat all over it by making the protagonist a human popsicle who's old enough to be "unincorporated" and starts a political upheaval to eliminate incorporation, which he views as some kind of slavery or something. I think I gave up a few pages into the sequel.
Join the army.
this is actually it. also sell organs.
Sign up for one of those gigs where they test new meds on you, anti depressants and anti psychotics, should net you anywhere from $100 to $10k depending on the length of trial and stuff
Robbing a bank
huge payoff if successful
$38.5m total. 5000 robberies. $7700 per robbery.
also depending on the policy, there might be a huge reduction in the payout after those 2 years if its suicide. make it look like an accident.
Join the Republican Party
all robberies are successful
not just robbing online
Get married and have kids
OP if you want to kill yourself but can`t because of family, we`re in the same boat.
I have put much thought into this and the best thing I came up with is playing video games to have time rushing by. If you`re not into video games, do sports you enjoy, watch movies. Time flies by.
I`m saving money for a time when cyrogenic sleep will be available. Then I say `Hi` to my family every two weeks after two days of getting in shape again (brain, muscles) and the rest of my life will be shortened by 12/14.
This might be a illusion but it`s the only thing that keeps me going.
You could also find someone from a poor country who looks like you and disappear for a few years. Pay him to play you for you family. If your family notices it`s not you (keep in mind you had disappeared for a few years), you play it off as a shitty joke or like he tried to take your place without you knowing.