>>a bird shits on your car
I see a freshly waxed car.
Run back to my car which has a big sealable container of birdseed and a big cup.
Fill cup with birdseed.
Run back to the freshly waxed car.
Grate some exlax shavings to mix with the seeds in the cup (shake shake shake to mix gratings with seeds).
Scatter exlax coated birdseed all over the ground near the car.
Leave.
Birds come back since they have good eyes for birdseed food.
Bird eats and is full. It now needs to super poop.
Birds only partially digest so you can take advantage of that by feeding them certain foods such as oily food. Their poop is then oily and merges with the surface of the paint better. That's the source of sticky poop that doesn't wash off so fast. Acidic foods will make more acidic poop.
Exlax melts and coats the seeds in summer heat. So try that if you want the birds to not only poop, but to have super poop. Poop is Love. Poop is Life. Anal sex is great.
