Best American Sports Car for mai waif?

You want her to fuck other men?

Yeah but....does it look like sex? Cuz from what I see, it couldn't drop panties if you left them on the roof by accident.

Again, she drives a third gen camaro, I need something that will hands-down out-sex that thing so she dumps the loser and gets with the real shit

buy your stupid wife a used camry for like $2000 or tell her to fuck off and buy a car herself

>Again, she drives a third gen camaro, I need something that will hands-down out-sex that thing

a fucking Civic can do that

I want her to forget she ever saw anything in that one-tire-frying rattling sled.

You're not even american

The Cobalt does have a sexier, but less capable sister car.

Meet the Saturn Ion Redline.
2.0L Supercharged I4
same basic engine as the Cobalt SS turbo (minus the direct fuel injection, variable valve timing, and launch control) but with a more reliable supercharger instead

It has 4 doors. The rears are Suicide doors, and the body panels are all dent-resistant plastic so she'll never have to worry about literal fender benders.

Why are there so many euro queers here...

you remember that reddit found out how to chan now, right?

jeez /o can't sell for SHIT

Those are your options if you want to seat 4 people. You're not going to be getting some zl1 that'll burn corollas at stop lights.
Oh yeah and maybe a Taurus SHO.

You can't sell for shit if your wife won't get rid of her turd gen Camaro. Maybe you should ask your wife's son for suggestions.

this is the closest thing I've heard to being what I asked for. I fucking love the tough look of the Taurus. It just isn't sexy and she's very much into tasty muscle cars

The 1996-1999 Taurus SHO had issues with the V8 though. Only grab one if the cams have been welded to the cam gears.

again...need something tasty

If she likes camaros then just buy a fucking camaro you retard. She will like you automatically. Then you hire a photographer and get pictures taken with both of your cars in them.

I suggest a 1992 iroc with ls1 swap or whatever engine people always swap.fuck your safety rating bullshit what's that? Not even her car is great at them. What are you a girly man???

I didn't read that she's already ur wife. If I were her I would divorce you for being such a girly man.

Does she have some fat on her. If she does that moves the car up one safety rating. So a 3 star is a 4 star because she's a bigger gal.

I like you. go fuck yourself.

She likes old iron muscle. That shit is dreadfully unpractical. Even she complains about the "economy" and crappiness. GM already makes rattly creak wagons, it gets amplified the farther back you look.

I just want her to fall in love with something that isn't going to mangle her and make her choke on her teeth when she bites the steering wheel.

Then show her a new Volkswagen gti and shut the hell up ya turd. Leave the whole muscle car thing behind.

Get her one with DSG and she will have wet panty. Do Ecu tune and get more pow.

Now fuck if ya turd.

As we said. A 4th gen F-body, Cobalt SS or Ion Redline would be perfect.

Hell, I'd recommend a 1998-2002 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am.
God-tier LS1 V8
6 speed manual
handles great
one of the sexiest cars of those decades

Only problem is they're a fucking BITCH to work on cuz the engine is wedged up underneath the dashboard.

And ya turd if that's to new then get her a 2005 Gofuckyuorself fuckery fir buttsday

An ex once told me she fell in love with those Firebird when she decided the tail lights reminded her of lace.

>asked for something not euro-trashy
>get the trashiest euro-trash

I showed her the 4th gen Camaro and she just said it's OK. That's the best I have going right now, but I really want her to just fall in love with something at first sight.

She said the Mitsubishi Eclipse was OK too, so keep an open mind. As long as it's laid out like an american vehicle (a hood that is actually a hood, notchback or slant back) she won't scoff and say "oooooh tokyo dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeft" and make turbo waste-gate noises at you. "vrooooooooooooom too too tooooo vroooooooooooooom too to tooooo"

She won't drive gay shit, bro, She won't.

I'm beginning to think the car you're looking for doesn't exist

>I showed her the 4th gen Camaro and she just said it's OK. That's the best I have going right now, but I really want her to just fall in love with something at first sight.
Show her a 4th gen Firebird. 4th gen Camaros are ugly and the only body panel they share are the T tops.

...

She saw the hood of the firebird and said, again, "tokyo drift!"

She's right, it does look like a Nissan with jacked up ground effex and gay hood.

Plus, she says that the 4th gens betrayed the heritage.

I know. Fucking americans not making fucking american cars anymore

...

You're wide is mentally retarded. Have you signed her up for special ed course at the local community center yet?

Besides. turd gens were the ones to betray the heritage.
The original Z28 had a high revving destroker 302 V8. But the turd gen Z28's had a POS 305 that would be lucky to ever hit 5500, nevermind 7 or 8k like the original.

How does she defend that?

>wide
wife.

>She's already ended up sideways on the road because the brakes locked up.

Sounds like the car just needs a little maintenance and she needs driver training. I would be happy to help out. Just give me a ring at 1-800-REAL-MAN

>webpage

look bitch, I've swapped the motor in her dad's Grand Am twice without anybody to help me line up the torque converter.

They locked up because somebody pulled into her lane and she slammed on the brakes. The faggot was driving a minivan. Fuck minivans. Fuck mexicans. Fuck mexicans driving minivans without a fucking license or regard for road laws. i wonder if turn signals exist in mexico. It must be like how they throw toilet paper into the trash can instead of flushing it, they live in shit and then bring shit here.

>wife drives a MAN'S CAR

you're a pussy op

you're just jealous she's the man of the relationship.

this is mine...we don't drive queer cars.

she helped me fuck up a guy in a merc that was getting too goddamn close every time we hit a stoplight. when i got out, he was so close i couldn't fit between my car and his.

worst part, he was dumb enough to park and get out... fucking persians

idk who's more retarded you or your wife. on second thought you're made for each other

all these """"muscle"""" cars in this thread are absolutely fucking disgusting
i hate VW just as much as the next guy but dismissing it cause its "faggy euro trash" is dumb af f.a.m. it's like 100x better as a DD compared to any of that god awful cantturn land yachts

kys

>I know. Fucking americans not making fucking american cars anymore
What do you mean? You picked one of the worst eras for American cars. Your options seem to be trans am, a mustang, or a cobalt ss

...another foreign fag. Unless you're american, you just wouldn't understand.

Loud, long hood, sex appeal. That's all we're after.

Yes I know my Mark V's puny 460 won't be able to keep up with a Golf in the turns, but at least it doesn't look like we've had our nuts chopped one degree less than a minivan family.

Stop thinking like fags.

Nobody has mentioned a Mustang? That goes to show how eurofaggotry this board is. She wouldn't drive a mustang, but really? Not one?

She's liking the Eclipse somewhat, it's bearable. Anything close?

I drive Volvo S80 t6 twinturbo.

It might not be the fastest accelerating car out there, but it sure is safe.

I can recommend it especially when looking at your requirements.

buy an sti or an evo. dunno why ur wife is restricting herself to shitty american cars

Youre clearly a faggot that deserves nothing but the worst so an f body is perfect 4 u and your sister

i literally said nothing about american cars in the requirements, just don't want euro shoe-cars like the shit you listed.

Veeky Forums literally can't read. I have said twice now that the Mitsubishi Eclipse is the closest I've gotten, stop trying to fuck with me, redditors.

CORVETTE
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she associates vettes with leisure suit larry sleezebags and guys that have to chase the pussy

That's a shame, they're such great cars.

yeah, no doubt. However, they have refused to fix the last 1/8th of the body for nearly FORTY FUCKING YEARS!

THAT REAR END IS PERPETUALLY GHEEEY

>sideways on the road
check your brakes faggot. that means all your cylinders and proportioners and pads. ABS is shit. what causes cars to spin is usually out of balance brakes or having rear braking force stronger than front.

This

Swap the engine into a 240 or 940

best AMERICAN sports car is literally in the title
but if you say american isn't a requirement g35 coupe maybe?

You are the dumbest person I've ever seen on this board.

Nah man, that rear is sexy as hell, and iconic as fuck

Caution, fags, the only job I have ever had is as a mechanic. Drum brakes, those without dual-leading-shoes, have disproportionate braking effort. In fact, they tend to lock theirselves because as pressure is applied, the trailing shoe gets pulled tighter and tighter because of the way they're designed.

It's an inherent flaw.

Go ahead and drive in a straight line, then slam the brakes at the same time you swerve a little such as to avoid a family of spics driving a minivan without a license or knowledge of turn indicators. You will skid out of control.

How little experience do you have as a driver to NOT know this actually happens?

Are you telling me this professional editor is such a shit driver?

youtu.be/Hf0o-Rj0wmQ?t=2m44s

My life was saved by such a drift. I was thrown off my motorcycle and some little chevy econobox (around 1998-2004 model) was heading STRAIGHT for me. She was so close she would have plowed right through me before she could stop. Instead, the car spun in a circle, the grill facing me the whole time, until it was on the other side of me, before it was 180º and rolled backwards into a barrier.

Hi op I am the man that suggested the gti. But it was like 4am and I woke up and wasn't thinking clearly. I went back to bed and in my dream I came up with this for you senpai.

2000 Lexus SC400. Why? See below.

So here's the requirements.

1. ABS - YES
2. Airbags and 4+star safety rating per test - YEA
3. 4+ seating - YES
4. Somewhat or generally sport-oriented - YEA
5. Made around 1996-2005 - YES

B-b-b-bonus round!

6. Traction control - YES
7. Coupe - LOOK AT IT
8. Low rear-deckheight/large rear glass (good visibility) - YEAH AND IT HAS LONG HOOD

I want reliability, ease of maintenance, and good looks (that's the ONLY thing that matters to her).
> it is Lexus It is most reliable car in world.

It is the later v8 which has 300 horsepower or something like that. It is the most reliable v8 in the world.

Do a stiffer suspension tune, get some classy looking Lexus factory spec wheels on it and drive it. It is luxuriousness and comfortableness and a bit of sport touring all mixed into one.

If you don't like this you may as well leave. I have a brain designed for giving car advice and I let my brain cook your needs and wants into this car while I SLEPT so you know you're getting the best of my brain - the unconscious side of it. I am not even aware where my idea came from but it came from within me. My brain has been educated to much over the last ten years from powerblock television and top gear and fifth gear that these things come to me in my sleep.

Take this advice please. Lexus SC 400.

what if I told you that when I met my GF I had one of these? What if I told you she isn't impressed?

She says it's not something that stands out. She likes my '77 lincoln more than my '07 town car for that reason. Actually when I bought my '07 she said she never noticed how many of these (late panther platform fords) are all around her. She said "I bet I cant even count to" and before she finished, a Mercury crossed right in front of us and she said "see! I didn't even finish the sentence and there it is!"

I know it truly is the perfect coupe. It truly is. It really is. You get many props, user, because it is a fucking perfect coupe. Fuck yeah.

I never had an LS300 but I wouldn't mind that for myself either... if I didn't have my Town Car!

Your girlfriend is a hard woman to please.

The only other vehicles I can think of that are worth owning would be a e46 330ci or.... I really don't know. Good luck. You must really be good at eating pussy cuz this woman is hard to please.

nah she just goes by looks. nothing else. either it looks like rolling sex or a roller-skate. She gets a grin when somebody mentions she drives a V8, and kinda scoffs if I offer an I4, so I suppose maybe just the right to brag is a deal too.

She likes square-body trucks, especially duallies, 70's and 80's muscle, especially GM. I'm trying to introduce her to something new.

I actually went to a dealer to try to get a used 2013 Taurus SHO and just tell her I rented it while I swap the head gaskets in the Camaro. Then I'll just take my time and let it grow on her.

80's GM vehicles were very spartan, plastic, creaky and sorry feeling. I know if I sat her ass in a new car, she'd get spoiled by keyless entry, better brakes, tighter steering with a quicker ratio, u-turns within two-lanes, quiet interior without exhaust droning and no road noise, backup camera, heated seats, new audio system and good speakers, and it's all shiny and clean inside. If she doesn't like it I'll just tell her "well I bought it, get your own insurance and like it, cuz the block in the Camaro is cracked"

The difference between that Camaro and the Taurus is like stepping out of Blade Runner and into Space Odyssey 2001. She'll deal with it.

The only thing I don't like is that it's hella easy to fuck in the back of the Town Car, Mark V, and Camaro. I am unsure about the new cars and the center console in the front, cockblocking the road head.

That might be a little bit of a difference....

Lol holy shit Americans have low standards..

Neons are buckets of shit.

Typical GM. Thin, unpadded fabric that's as abrasive as office carpeting, and thin hollow plastic that sounds like a creaky Chinese-made toy gun.

I don't like you anymore. You or your wife.

Ps e46 330ci is a sexy looking car. Enjoy your 4400 pound Taurus. Maybe you're just hicks.

Ps the 330 will out accelerate most of your old junk. So your wife grinning when she says she has a v8 is rather funny.

Any i4 ecoboost will out-accelerate most old-school emissions-era V8's, but it's about the soul of the V8. How many people are buying 4cyl Mustangs now and regretting it and swapping them for 8cyl's? Both of the people I know personally that bought them...

I like the SC300, but the BMW is wrong because it looks like that posh european crap and well..it's a BMW. That's a mistake anybody I know has only made once if at all. Same with VW and Mercedes.

So you like understated vehicles.

This then. I'm literally done. Please don't make any more posts because you are too good at describing how shit old gm cars are and it makes me uncomfortable. You must have a degree in English or something. Maybe you're a writer.

There are no more suggestions. I am confident nobody can come up with anything better than this. It is understated yet your wife can still grin about it.

Good luck finding one that doesn't have problems and that the owner doesn't want 10k+ for one that is a "fixer upper".

V6 98 Mustang with a slushbox. My wife's is stupidly reliable and they're stupidly cheap now.

I don't think you get it, she likes cars that turn heads, I like what I like because I like it and it only has to make me happy.

I don't mind the SC400, my '77 Lincoln Mark V, my '07 Lincoln Town Car, or the many ford Pickups I've owned.

She only cares about one thing, turning heads and feeling badass.

I know, you're the FIRST person to finally mention a Mustang here...but she doesn't do mustangs. Her dad instilled in her that Mustangs are gay, and are for faggots.

If she wants something that looks like it's from another era, but wants a muscle car, buy a Challenger. The car doesn't look modern from the outside in my opinion and the packages you can get are pretty good. My dad just got the Scatpack from 2014. 5.7l V8.

Come on Veeky Forums step it up this man is clearly worried about his sister's safety behind the wheel and you aren't providing any good solutions.

keep the jokes coming, my sister doesn't give head worth a shit

That's it. It's too difficult. You guys are truly hicks. "Gays and faggots" for mustang drivers. Maybe she should quit being a stupid hick and not take her dumb dads stupid advice and try a mustang GT then.

Your wife is just another dumb narcissistic Instagram idiot and I bet she has you take her picture 20 times per day.

Have fun with that one. Here's a pic of an old car that she will feel cool in because she's so cool. But in reality nobody cares.

>Fills every requeriment
>Hurr durr looks like a shitbox
Fuck you.

>can't brake properly without abs
your wife needs to git gud

Talking shit on good cars but considering an eclipse. You're all sorts of fucked, I hope your fatass wife dies in whatever you end up buying her.

She's not a girly girl and couldn't give a shit for facebook etc.

Funny you get the impression she's a hick, I've always felt very strongly that the less teeth in a family, the more towards GM they sway. Is it just me or does a 60's or 70's Cadillac just scream gator-seats and bolo ties? GM has no goddamn class, they're too fucking gaudy.

Thanks for reminding me I have an '07 Mustang convertible for sale. I can't stand the interior, poor GM-like design, in other words things are coming unglued.

It's just looks, dude, just looks. Hell, even I wouldn't want to drive a roller-skate.

Who knows if a mutang is 4+ stars crash tested on all four corners. Seriously bro your criteria is tough and that's why nobody mentioned mustang. No way it got good crash test ratings.

Prelude, Celica or Tiburon if looks are all that matters
not murrican though

do people not know that this literally happens?

youtube.com/watch?v=eydRvfGNB5M

Don't you think I exhausted all of my own efforts before coming here? You people see me here because of some desperation.

Fuck it, I'm going to put her into a gen 4 and whenever she gets attached to it, I'm taking the old one out at the end of a rope with the shotgun in hand.

Celica she likey. Same as the Eclipse. I don't know where I mentioned anything about needing a purely american-made car...

if she takes it, you can come over and let her watch as I bone you

Go back to whatever shit forum you came from. You're obviously being difficult on purpose. You want something between hick and posh but closer to hick but sexy. It doesn't exist you mong.

Just get a 2000 camaro ss and shut the hell up. Go away. You disrespect euro cars and other good cars. What is wrong with you. Then you complain American cars have bad build quality.

Go buy a e46 330ci if she doesn't like the camaro ss. It is a nice looking car in person and isn't posh at all. It has low sleek lines and is sporty not posh. She might even like an inline 6 over a big dumb heavy v8. She could even get a convertible wow.

But you probably live off a long dirt road and a BMW wouldn't be good for that. Get with it you nerd.

...

am I the nerd or the hick?

Not liking commie-cars and euro-trash is just a taste, dude. I believe a Lexus will knock out ANY of those cars in style, form, and CLASS, read it again, CLASS.

If Lexus is a tailored suit with a subtle and coordinated tie, euro cars are tuxedos with open-toed shoes.

Dudes, I think you're on to something. I couldn't fit into the back of one of these but I'm seriously looking at the Dodge lineup now.. Doesn't exist, my ass.

Chicks dig Chargers.
At least get an R/T, though.

Dodge is currently the only brand building old-fashioned muscle barges.

They also make one of the most brutal sports cars ever, the Viper, but that might not be a very good idea.

They're pretty room, and if you don't care about price, the Hellcat boasts 700+ horsepower.

They also grab attention really easily. If you do get it, get it loaded because it'll hold it's value a lot better.

No one on Veeky Forums will ever suggest any Dodge V8. Mostly because Chrysler owns them. You could also look into the Charger if you dont like the Challenger.

which engines are recommended? Features to look for?

Don't bother with the V6, that's about it.

>No one on Veeky Forums will ever suggest any Dodge V8.
It's funny because there's nothing wrong with the engines, it's the 5-speed auto they get mated to most of the time.
OP, if you get a challenger, get one with the six-speed manual. It's a bulletproof transmission.

Dont care so much about power and want a psudo balance between mileage and power?
>Challenger SXT

Want a varied choice between packages?
>Challenger R/T
I'd suggest personally the Retro Shacker. Has the old style hood scoop and actually utilizes it. All of these have a 5.7l V8 HEMI.

>Want the most powerful version with the biggest engine?
SRT8. If you decide this route, I would 100% go with the Hellcat. It holds it's value the most. It has a 6.2l V8 Supercharged engine and generally has come with paint decals displaying the type. It grabs attention with both sound and looks.

The v6 isn't that bad. You can get it for a lot less than it's v8 version (I think new I saw it sold for less than 15k MSRP). Plus it has 305HP stock, and you can easily make that boast 400+ with mods. I'm pretty sure you can twin turbo it too.

youtu.be/cRIqRicttv4?t=3m23s
*watch at start-mark

I posted a thread on /o the other day about how Chrysler overlooks the FINE details, and so does GM, and that's why I get stuck, ONLY by process of elimination, with Lexus and Ford.

They asked if I could name any examples, I said I couldn't remember but I have it engrained in my head. Finally I found one clear example that SCREAMS what I'm trying to say.

How does this compare to the fifth-gen Camaro? I believe it was the Camaro I couldn't fit into...

she's not going to launch the thing, so is the transmission still an issue? She doesn't even rev it to show off or push herself back in the seat...

>She doesn't even rev it to show off or push herself back in the seat...
Then what the fuck is the point?
I can't even.