Which is the strangest war you know?

based Duchy of Ferrara

Obligatory

>venice gets attacked
>venice joins the enemy
really makes you think huh

perfect example of Eternal Venetian

Xōchiyāōyōtl, Flower Wars

Aztecs and some other Mesoamerican states would arrange a battle at a preselected place at a preselected date. During the battle the belligerents wouldnt use ranged weapons and would instead use melee weapons and nonlethal blows to incapacitate the enemy so he could be captured and sacrificed to the gods.

The practice first began after a great famine in Mesoamerica in the 1450s. The Huey-Tlatoani of Texcoco, Ixtlilxochitl, suggested that the gods were angry because they werent receiving any sacrifices, therefore Tenochtitlan, Tlaxcala, Texcoco, Cholula, and Huexotzinco agreed to engage in the Flower Wars for human sacrifices.

>Under the leadership of Francis I, who had succeeded Louis to the throne, the French and Venetians would, through victory at Marignano in 1515, regain the territory they had lost; the treaties of Noyon and Brussels, which ended the war the next year, would essentially return the map of Italy to the status quo of 1508.´
kek all that for nothing

Fucking Guelphs, why are they such papal cock sucking peasants?

...

>England jumps in to fuck over the French
>Scotland jumps in to fuck over the English

If you actually bothered to study up on that war, you'd find that in fact Cambrai was a perfect example of the Eternal Pope instead.
>Cesare Borgia goes on a war of aggression in central Italy
>local lords ask for Venice's protection and Venice obliges
>Julius II gets butthurt af that Cesare's and his dad's idiocy costed the papal states Romagna, so tries to force Venice to give it back
>upon failing to do so, creates an anti-venetian coalition, promising to divide venetian lands with the allies
>coalition breaks down due to internal political matters in Spain and HRE
>France makes good progess in the war, Julius craps himself when he realizes he just agreed to let the french take over ALL northern Italy, so decides to makes peace with Venice and start fighting the french instead
>also calls back all his previous allies, because they sure as shit didn't want to let the french have all NI either.
>France is pissed, so they go rek Julius. Venice takes the chance to take back all their land and free Lombardia while they were at it (with HRE help)
>new issue: who's gonna take Lombardia? Venice and Julius want it to go back to the Sforzas, HRE wants it for himself plus all Veneto (still salty from the 13th century rebellions)
>the pope takes the HRE's side and literally tells Venice to shut up and let itself get robbed or they'll be at war again
>Venice doesn't bend over, goes to ask for France's help
>France agrees and together they kick the papal alliance's collective ass hard
>the pope is out of troops and money, so he decides to call it a day if everyone agrees to go back to the status quo ante bellum
>everyone is tired, so all agree

The 1500's sure was messed up

You have no idea. It gets so bad Venice basically goes "fuck it, I'm out" and decides to keep neutral on european matters.

Sometimes referred to as the most perfect war in history.

Anglo-Zanzibar War, it only lasted 38 minutes.

The War of the league of Cambraiwas still weird

War of Jenkins' Ear

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_Jenkins'_Ear

335 Years' War

and that was just a part of Italian Wars

Just more proof that Anglos are the master race

>This war began shortly after the collapse of the Soviet Union, when the former Soviet bloc country of Moldova experienced a crisis. Two-thirds of the country wanted closer ties with Romania, but the remaining third wanted to remain close with Russia. As a result, war erupted. But what makes this war truly strange is the fact that the men fighting each other during the day often gathered in no man’s land at night to mingle and drink. Soldiers even made pacts not to shoot each other if they saw each other during battle the next day. And this wasn’t a one time thing, it happened nearly every night for the duration of the war. One soldier wrote in his journal: “The war is like a grotesque party, during the day we kill our enemy, during the night we drink with them. What a bizarre thing war is.”

The Football war in 1969
last war with dogfights with propeller airplanes

Thirty Year's War

If you post a stupid meme, at least post the ledger with it.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War

The wonders of reverse image search.

This

>French "men"

Cockroaches are resilient

>The governor of the Colony of Vancouver Island, James Douglas, ordered British Rear Admiral Robert L. Baynes to land marines on San Juan Island and engage the American soldiers under the command of Brigadier-General Harney. Baynes refused, deciding that "two great nations in a war over a squabble about a pig" was foolish. Local commanding officers on both sides had been given essentially the same orders: defend yourselves, but absolutely do not fire the first shot. For several days, the British and U.S. soldiers exchanged insults, each side attempting to goad the other into firing the first shot, but discipline held on both sides, and thus no shots were fired.

>As a result of the negotiations, both sides agreed to retain joint military occupation of the island until a final settlement could be reached, reducing their presence to a token force of no more than 100 men. The "English Camp" was established on the north end of San Juan Island along the shoreline, for ease of supply and access; and the "American Camp" was created on the south end on a high, windswept meadow, suitable for artillery barrages against shipping. Today the Union Jack still flies above the "English Camp", being raised and lowered daily by park rangers, making it one of the very few places without diplomatic status where US government employees regularly hoist the flag of another country.

Phenomenal.

is this basically a primer on how Europe worked until the end of ww2?

>never seen so much inbreeding and retardation before
>And I've been to Languedoc, like holy fuck

I'm fucking crying 11/10

This

The Great Ant War

I would say this.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_War
Only 1 american death total.

If you havent realized history. There is one reason the latin americans are feared by Imperialists. But also make good trade partners like China. Every war theyve had in recent history was them fighting their own relatives that had been split between far left and far right. For example a friend of mines relatives were in a war where his uncle shot his father. His father set fire to his cousins family. They didnt let blood get in the way of ideology. Everyone fought for what they believed what was right. And yet they get together and talk about those days.

Their legend is that they murdered russians and americans via a technological complex because they were too cowards to sacrifice. And instead used the bully system and threatening genocide with wmd. Russians and americans didnt understand the concept of self mutilation for preservation. Nor did they understand the concept of freedom. So they believe this world is hell and an experimental underground. Because they faltered nature and got rid of God by interbreeding humans with animals.

So their souls are kept living repetitive. And in every repetition they try to find away to succeed the madness that one day took the Earth. Until they found one thing useful. The control of geothermic radiation with their technology. Infrared technology that can track the movement precisely of the world to come and the world that was. Augmenting history as much as they can to avoid the great judgement.

The study of the matrice, the engender and the square root of play.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cod_Wars

Fucking argies

Poor Lombardia didnt have it easy. Their fault for being so filthy rich I guess.
Directly after your green text France decided it still wanted it and conquered it, then was defeated by Spain, who kept it for themself, then the French invaded again some hundred years later, but were defeated, tried again and were more successfull but had to retreat, but the spanish royal dynasty had died out and the new one gave it to the French for free, at which point the Austrians invaded and were defeated and tried again and were victorious and kept if for themself, only for the Spanish and French to invade the next war and the war after, and after doing great giving it back to Austria, only to invade it again the next war with Napoleon annexing it to France until he was defeated and it given back to Austria, though now the Italians were thinking they deserved their own nation and invaded it,only to be defeated by the Austrians, so the next time France and Italy invaded together, conquering it for good.

How could Australia lose dignity it never possessed?

I laughed too fucking hard at this.

It's their own fault tbqh. If that Sforza cunt hadn't invited the french in the first place, the italian wars might not have happened, and the italic league might have have avoided blooshed in the peninsula through the early modern period. Or at least limited it to the traditional mercenary shitflinging with contained bloodshed typical of the 15th century.

>0 Australian casualties
>2500+ enemy emu casualties
I don't see the problem

you have schizophrenia, friend

>implying most of killed emus weren't noncombatants

>Their fault for being so filthy rich I guess.
No, their fault for being a feudal shithole. Just like Naples earlier on and Florence a couple centuries afterwards, they lost their independence due to dynastic shitflinging. Venice was the richest of all, but the Habsburgs didn't get nearly as many opportunities to fuck with the Serenissima specifically because they had not legal basis for any sort of aggression.

>No colony in the falklands yet
JUST

Has anyone got the story about that russian fleet of ships chasing the japanese and fucking up from day one? I recall a ship leaving port and sinking without leaving the harbour.

>you'll never see pic related fight
just end this suffering

got you pham

fucking russki's, mang

>Cutlar believed he should not have to pay for the pig because the pig had been trespassing on his land. (A possibly apocryphal story claims Cutlar said to Griffin, "It was eating my potatoes." Griffin replied, "It is up to you to keep your potatoes out of my pig."
absolute madman

Here in Southeast Asia that would be the fourth invasion of Ayyuthaya by Burma in the 1580s.

Burma- warrior kingdom par excellence of Southeast Asia- invaded its eternal rival, Ayyuthaya for the fourth time. The Thai King, Naresuan, then panicked (he was then trying to invade Cambodia) and called for an about face to meet the Burmese. In their desperation, the Thais sent out a call for help across SEA and recruited any available mercenaries.

Due to Thailand's commercial importance, the following people answered Ayyuthaya's call.
>Japan: Sent a delegation of Samurai by Hideyoshi, then protector of Japan.
>Chinese mercenaries and pirates looking for a buck.
>Portuguese gunners & artillery crew seeking to make gud with the Siamese.
>Spain in the Philippines, who sent a force of native Filipino Musketeers.
>The fucking Dutch.

You had 3 European colonial rivals fighting in the same side.

Is this the one where Naresuan had an epic elephant duel with the Burmese prince?

Yeah. You're seeing it.

There's a (Super Corny) high end Thai production about it, if you're interested. It's got all the hallmarks of SEAsian cinema, including a fucking theme song in the middle.

Sweet. I remember reading about it in the in-game encyclopedia of Civilisation V.

Here's one from my country, the Battle of Castlebar (part of the rebellion of 1798).

>Brits attacked by Irish & French troops which they outnumber 3:1
>French bayonet charge scares them so bad they literally flee halfway across the fucking country (from Castlebar to Athlone is ~110km)

"The French launched a bayonet charge, the ferocity and determination of which unnerved the units stationed behind the artillery. The British units began to waver before the French reached their lines and eventually turned in panic and fled the battlefield, abandoning the gunners and artillery."
>"In the headlong flight of thousands of British militia, large quantities of guns and equipment were abandoned, among which was General Lake's personal luggage. Although not pursued a mile or two beyond Castlebar, the British did not stop until reaching Tuam, with some units fleeing as far as Athlone in the panic. The panic was such that only the arrival of Cornwallis at Athlone prevented further flight across the Shannon."

>england joins the war for no other reason but to just have an excuse to be at war with france

>France joining just to be at war with England
it's like pottery

Hey, people usually say that to me.

Don't worry, my imminent frenemy, people say I have schizofriendia too. Ypu're not alone, we know we're right.

The Anglo-Zanzibar war, shortest war in history (~45min) with 0 dead to Britain. Sultan decided fuck us, holed himself up in the palace complex expecting a ground assault, we just shelled the palace into rubble from the harbour with our battleships

Don't forget, Scotland joining for no other reason than to be at war with England.

Top fucking zozzle

> we
Ok ahmed