What's the oldest lie in history?

authority

He-heyy, /r/eddit!
How's your day, huh?

>authority

What do you mean?

>t.spherist cuck

Create shit thread, get shit replies. Not sure what you've been expecting, this is entirely your fault.

Probably the control of information by states.

An old frail king can control worldly ambitious lords by constantly monitoring them and testing them, sending agents posing as frenchmen to offer them bribes, seeing if they are willing to give up power they have been delegated and such. All this prevents them from negotiating with others, particularly those that will be sent to put them down if they rebel.

>Create shit thread, get shit replies.

I'm OP and I really care what you believe is the oldest lie in history.

any justification for being in a position of authority is complete and utter bullshit.

Pagan here and I vote for "BECAUSE GOD SAID SO"

"It's not you, it's me" or "I have a boyfriend".

santa
stork baby story
"i have a headache"
he/she is just a friend
"i'm just going out with friends"

Equality fraternity freedom

>LARPer here and I vote for "BECAUSE GOD SAID SO"
FTFY

That power is an ascent

Also, that Ashkenazi Jews are semites.

"No, I really am 18"

All religious people are LARPers. LARPing in the context of religion has become an utterly meaningless term

"It wasnt me!"

irish people are white

Are you saying that Egyptian polytheism is legit?

"Yes, I'm sure you're the father."

Lolcaust

Common goodness

Now that the revolution is over, I'll take over just to guard you guys

>The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die!

>Implying the evidence doesn't suggest the current form of the universe started like a massive explosion.

Originating from Atum's orgasm. I call this the big fap hypothesis.

Santa isn't an old story, americlap.

Sky faeries

It kind of is

progress exists

"it gets better"

WE WUZ KANGS

Civil war was about rights of black people...

>Less than two centuries ago
>Oldest lie in history

That being good and faithful to your tribe is more important than intelligence.

That's the dark lie of human society.

Religion by far.

That you don't have a s m a l l b e n i s :DDD

Granny's peach tea

go back to tumblr

"Just the tip baby. Just to see how it feels"

"Just be yourself"

"Blacks are people"

"It gets better"

This.

It is so deeply rooted in every culture of the world that every bit of ancient art shows some kind of religiosity, some sense that things greater than ourselves exist. It is one of the oldest, strongest and most psychologically-needed lies in the history of the human race, in the history of self-awareness and self-consciousness.

It’s like Kubrick said:

>”The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent”

Even to this day most people can’t endure the burden to walk through life without the aid of some kind of faith or hope that they might yet bloom into a new form of existence, or awake into a new world of peace and pleasure, or be united with the whole of the universe and somehow feel the joy of just existing. The same goes for the question of meaning: it is hard to explain to most people that they don’t have any value except for the false one, the synthetic one that what we humans create for ourselves, and that nature doesn’t give a damn about us. In the same morning that hundreds of Jews were gassed-down, burned into dust and puffed into oblivion the sun kept shining and the birds kept singing; in the same night that Cartago was ruined, raped and shattered the moon kept smiling in the sky: there is no commotion or even a mere wink or micro muscular spasm in Nature for any of our glories or miseries.

I myself, although all the logic, rationalism and observation in the world tell me that there is no life after death, still have in my brain ashamed vestiges of hope: it is stronger than myself this need to be deluded that you can still keep existing after you are gone and the universe dies in unimaginable extremes of heat or cold or entropy or darkness.

You assume people wear religion as a lie as opposed to experiencing something in their phenomenology that expresses itself like a "god"/"presence".

Look, one time I was homeless and took sertaline. It calmed me down but it took away any weight emotions had on my decision-making (BAD. no really, you want to be able to say "this sucks"). Also I wanted to trip on psychs and the sertaline/zoloft would prevent that. So I stopped taking it.

For two weeks I tripped balls. Not crazy crazy but I'd wake up in the morning and everything would have a golden tinge and it seemed like a voice was calling out saying "this is a kingdom I give to my children".

If you've grown up with the feeling of a presence and assholes are telling you "oh yeah this is what this presence said!", I understand how ferocious you could be in defending something which seems obvious and truthful to thy own phenomenology.

That people act for reasons they can explain.

Use your knowledge of good and evil to do good, and avoid evil, and thus be like God.

That's the first lie, and most of you are going to hell believing it.

That Jesse Eisenberg can act.

That the romans was white. Nah nigga they was black. You see the first romans was ruled by kings who was black. Tarquinius superbus the last black king of rome was overthrown by the whiteys who ruled rome for a couple of centuries. Until sulla the great black general overthrew the whiteys and exterminated them in the social war. Now blacks was running rome again and a whitey wasnt seen in the region again until it was sacked by alaric and the whiteys eventually killed or sent the black romans to africa. Julius caesar was black

The Devil

What a meme u are

Upvote omg so right

You have to go back.

what you believe in does not change the fact that your question is fucking retarded

it's like making a thread about what grain of sand hit the beach first. It's a dumb question that in the wording tries to establish that there actually is a lie that was uttered first and lying is not a phenomenon that gradually got to where it is now. Not only is it absolutely pointless to try and pinpoint a single moment in where a human being tried to communicate a false piece of information, it's also impossible. Not only because it would be utterly impossible to give any evidence of such an event but more so because it would completely rely on a personal opinion in what constitutes as a 'lie'. There are thousands, if not millions of different lies that all slowly manifested at the same time the moment we were smart enough to think of them. The first lies are any lies you can think of that would be applicable to a hunter/gatherer society, i.e. "I didnt take your shit", "I definitely went out and tried to find food", "i didnt take a shit behind your tent".

Basically, your thread is fucking stupid.

History

the group is worth more than the individual

That those explanations are an expression of free will is more like it tbhimo

>sorry, that was my last piece of gum
An equally unoriginal alternative:
>It is good to suffer

if you can't test it then it holds no truth content

morality is another thing, but any "religion" that makes claims about the material world are total bullshit regardless of what crazy people claim to experience

"Not tonight honey, I have a headache."

That capeshit can be good.

holy kek

>"It wasnt me!"

underrated

Individualism is relatively new, tho.

> (OP)
>irish people are white
Beggorah its like another famine

>"Not tonight honey, I have a headache."

Fun fact: sex is the best way to get rid of a headache (I mean for women).

If the girl likes / loves you, headache won't be a problem.

t. ex-normie

progress

This

You're welcome to leave, unless you good a selfie with zeus and athena stashed away somewhere.

Underrated

hebrews in pharonic egypt.
the bible is to be treated like fan fiction except the self-serving portions.

really good mr.!

History itself

If you don't mean the oldest continuous lie, probably something like "uhh no I totally don't have any food stashed away to share".

>or "I have a boyfriend".
What's this one usually translate to

"I promise this is your child."

Cuckoldry might just be the oldest sin and the primary reason for civilization.

Lmao wut. Explain pls, this sounds juicy.

probably history itself

Bretty good

aparently whites are just ostrocised & segregated albino niggers given their marching orders that eventually coagulated into proto pre celts in north west euro
dunno if its the oldest biggest, or true ?

>im stronger than anyone else so i rule over them

Is this bullshit?

realhistoryww.com/world_history/ancient/White_people.htm

that aside, still full of interesting/fascinating info

Woah.

*slow claps*

>Do you promise?
>I'll do whatever you want, just let me put it inside.

i din du nuffin.

"I don't believe in God"

Armenian genocide.

Do you suffer from brain damage?
Or are you just being snarky?

Liar.
Liar.
Liar.

Stupid idiot.

Shitposting faggot.

>"Did you have snoo snoo with Bunga?"
>"No, me was berry picking"

Watch Patterns of evidence.