Mechanic nightmare stories/stupid shit you've done while working on cars

>was a young mechanic student
>had to change brake pads and disks on my brother's twingo
>did it like a pro
>my brother told me to hurry up so i rushed the end
>finished it at time
>he's gone
>1h later he call me
>he told me that i did good but i just forgot to thighten the wheel nuts
>He broke his triangle
>mfw

Aww yeah. Green text all the things

Spacing helps

>Working on friends car
>Says brakes are a little soft
>Take it for a drive
>Can't actually stop
>Turn and go uphill with ebrake to actually stop
>user how long has it been like this
>Tells me he has to use it for work so he's driven like this on the highway for weeks
>Didn't see an issue
>mfw

This

>implying 'throwing money at it' actually gets the job done

Listen bud, I hate to break this to you, but the majority of people in this world are fucking morons and that includes mechanics. You are basically trusting them with your life by letting them work on your car without any oversight. I prefer to do everything I can on my own.

your friend a fucking retard.

>posting on an automobile interest board
>can't into automobiles
kiddies need to leave.

>posting on an automobile interest board

get the fuck out of here man. People like you are the worst.

good post

Great guy, clueless about cars.

>being this poor

>walk in cousins working on uncles Mazda SUV
>changing some sort of EGR valve
>the valve has a hole in it, a fucking hole, a goddamn ragged hole
>uncle comes in with new valve as we are wondering how the fuck that happens
>show valve to uncle
>"I don't see anything wrong with it"
>what?
>"may be its supposed to be that way"
>pull out new valve out of the box and show him
>"may be that's a new style"
>fucking refuses to believe there's something wrong with the valve

Fuck if it wasn't because it fixed the goddamn problem he would have never believed us

Shiiiiieeetttt

you should teach him how...
sell his car on craigslist for 1k and buy him a land rover, he'll have to learn then.

trial by fire.

I am going to go out on a limb and guess that you don't have a car or aren't old enough to drive.

when's your 7th birthday tim?

>getting trolled repeatedly by this homo

Don't feed him you dumb shit

>literally cannot afford to have somebody do mantainence
>disregards my points as trolling

Its some part personal preference and part saving money. Whats wrong with wanting to save money? Rich people save money too, you fucking armchair "richfag"

There are some people with all the money to get their car worked on but don't. I like doing my own shit. I like doing my own 15 minute oil change. I like pulling off my wheel and doing a ball joint in 40 minutes. I hate taking my car to the mechanic and waiting 2 days for an alternator change. Fuck that noise.

Keep justifying your lack of funds, poorfag.

>he isn't man enough to service his own wife

I change the oil on my M5 (inbetween service intervals), not sure where you're coming from

>being this poor
That's fine. I'm talking about replacing parts though. Fluids are fine.

Who's oil were you stealing

I took out my charcoal filters myself if that counts.
On my E60, I installed an aftermarket exhaust myself, too.

I think you probably just have trouble working on cars and, well, see the pic. It takes patience and practice my friend.

Go and waste money on paying someone else to do the work YOU can do.

Fucking inept piece of shit

Sorry I hit a nerve poorfag. Maybe one day you'll be able to afford things in life.

>tfw also a richfag
>tfw have too much to lose to trust some idiot mechanic to do work on my bike because they didn't torque a bolt correctly or forgot to use threadlocker

Yeah, tell your wife to slide 100 buck to my PayPal because I'm being hired to do the job you can't do in the bedroom

inb4 >implying wife

I audibly laughed. What the fuck man

>83 Toy 4X4
>change oil and filter
>blow out front crank seal
>3 seals later mfw, wrong dipstick
>crankcase only holds 4 quarts not 6

OP here

My friend did something similar

> hanging out with friend
> friend mentions he has a squealing in his car
> take it for a test drive
> back up 2 feet and realize his brakes are grinding
> tell him
> he says he'll take it to the dealership because his car had a lifetime warranty
> try to tell him it doesn't cover brakes
> ignores me
> calls me a day later and asks to help him

>he's a busrider

Fantastic observation!

>I hate taking my car to the mechanic and waiting 2 days for an alternator change. Fuck that noise.
This

It aint going to be cheaper if you keep stabbing yourself straight into the emergency room. How much did that oil change costs you? I'd say it cost you $500, so much for saving money. kek.

OP here

I stabbed myself at WORK

Doing an oil change on a CUSTOMER vehicle

WORKER'S COMPENSATION covered the hospital trip so I didn't pay a dime

And on top of all that. I'm paid hourly so I pretty much got paid to stab myself

Another weird thing non autists do is learn not to do stupid shit after they fuck up. So I won't be stabbing myself much any more

make sure you got a tetanus shot.

OP here

Yeah the automatically gave that to me

I'm a poorfag and I'd rather die knowing I fucked up than think some jackass didn't do his job right

go to you're average chain store level garage (Monroe, Midas, Jiffy Lube) and ask for an oil change + tire rotation

When I do it its free.

When another garage does it its 30-50 buck plus all the "problems" they find

I'd rather be a poorfag than end up paying $500 for an oil change

I think that's a white guy with greasy hands

Wash your hands my dude

> Ball joint is kill
> Fuck I need to get home and its late
> Use bottle jack to press out the balljoint
> Ball joint POPS out of socket
> Sends bottle jack flying
> Hit me in the face right above my eyebrow
> Doesn't hurt too much so keep on going
> finish job finally putting shit away
> Old guy asks me if I'm okay
> "Yeah why?"
> "You're bleeding "
> Face is covered in blood from a cm long cut on my forehead
> Just hold shop towel to wound until it stops bleeding
> Still have tiny lil scar

>Be doing front Caliper rebuild because shitty australian 'engineering'
>First time so a bit nervous
>get the pistons out with a air gun 100psi+ they where really seized and rusty pistons
>One flies off like a bullet
>other one hits my hand and damn near broke my finger
Wish i had pics only broke the skin to the bone :(

every single time i work on a car it's a nightmare.

>go to do pads/rotors/bleed
>take off caliper, pads/ rotor on back left
>decide it's better if i do pads/rotors and bleed all at once so move to rear right for bleeding
>finish the rotors and pads, start to bleed
>keep bleeding
>hear loud pop
>turns out i forgot to put the other side caliper on and the piston shot out

>putting in new cams
>unknowingly put the pulse plate on backwards
>slap the valve cover back on and crack her up
>takes forever to crank, instant CEL
>shut 'er down and rear the code
>backwards pulse plate snapped both cam position sensors
>reinstall and on my way to lope city

>battery terminals on the shitbox are shit
>have to crank it to a particular angle to get a connection
>end up snapping the terminal connector
>pic related, how i fixed it for the day so i could make it to class on time

>Removing torque converter bolts
>Bolts are metric, used wrong socket
>Rounded off two
>Had to chisel them off
>Fucked up the threads
>Looks like it's time for a new torque converter

You're all shit at working on cars and your fictitious grade school tier fuckups are amusing.

nigger

Not a car but

>have gas-powered model plane with ~6ft wingspan and floats
>prepping it to fly on a lake
>forget to disarm ignition
>propeller starts after I brush it by accident

Lost 2 fingers. Now I can never flip people off again.

>using a chrome 1/2" to 3/8" adapter on my impact to bust off axle flange bolts
>it breaks and spins into my hand
>cut my ring finger to the bone
>super glue it closed and dont get stitches
>permanent numbness in that finger now

also

>doing any thing any time
>spray brake cleaner
>find 10 new cuts on your hand

This is legitimate nightmare fuel for me.

holy shit user, that's terrible

I didnt know those things were that serious

sure, let me replace my a/c and do an alignment in my fucking garage

>be mechanic
>fitting diff bushes to fucking falcon
>have to knock the cunts in with mini sledge with the cross member out of the car
>knocking bush in
>goingwell.jpg
>swing like fuck, head flys off hammer
>hand and handle continue through
>hand punches crossmemeber full force
>blood everywhere
>shellberight.PNG carry on
>3 days later, tuns bright red and swells up
>go to doctor, says go to hospital
>go to hospital, have infected joint and blood poisoning
>get a week off work, pretty sweet.

Pic related, this is about 3 weeks later, still slightly bumpy

>cousin helping me change oil
>drain oil into catch pan
>slide cardboard with catch pan out from under car and put the lid on it
>lower the car, refill oil and get in to start it
>engine starts and sounds fine
>few seconds later hear cousin yelling 'SHIT SHIT SHIT!!'
>panic and shut engine off expecting major malfunction
>hood is still up so can't see in front of car
>get out and see cousin running frantically around the driveway
>realize a gust of wind caught the cardboard, flipped the oil catch pan and popped the lid off
>8 quarts of hot 5w-20 are rushing down my sloped driveway
>grap roll of paper towels
>cousin looks at me like I'm retarded
>'Do you have any cat litter'
>oh.. yeah..
>dump about 75 lbs of cat litter on the oil
>manage to soak most of it up
>wash driveway down with dish soap and a broom
>can barely tell it ever happened
>laugh about it later
Never been so glad to have cats that shit so much that I keep mass quantities of cat litter on hand.

Should have added that I was next to a crowded beach full of children. My blood turned half of the beach red and [spoiler]attracted a school of brook trout which promptly made off with my severed fingers[/spoiler].

Meh keep at it. This is how you learn.

Typically if you don't rush to finish a job mistakes will do minimal major damage.

Also if you've never done a particular job before take whatever the longest time you read on the forums and double it, or give yourself a whole day to get familiar before actually beginning. I usually stop after each step and have a good look at everything before moving on to the next.

Being organized is key. You'll still get dirty but if you're organized at least your mind will be clean.

My only bad story is:

>have 76 spitfire 1500
>pull engine to do bottom end rebuild (preventative maintenance)
>new main and rod bearings, thrust washers seals, rollers, everything
>reassemble with all fresh gaskets and use rtv where appropriate
>put engine back on hoist
>look over at bench
>forgot to install a sealing block
>take everything apart again
>install brand new sealing block
>way too small
>contact moss, they help me out but it's a manufacturing error so no possible replacement
>use old block with wood shims
>screw won't tighten fully
>thread locker and rtv it
>realize I ripped front engine plate gasket and would literally have to undo all of my previous work to replace
>decide I'm selling the car after this (had been on the fence)
>reassemble and reinstall
>runs like raped ape but pours oil
>even trade with a boomer for my current track toy
>don't mention the gasket

You still have one good hand m8

Took a few mm's off my finger with a flap disc a few weeks back.

I've been lucky/careful; nothing but bruises, small burns and small cuts

Jesus christ

This is what my dad told me about my car.
He doesn't see soft brakes as a problem. I almost wrecked this week cause of them.
Btw ... How do you fix this.
Do i bleed it and flush or is it just fucked?

Depends on what's fucked. Could just be a matter of bleeding and flushing, or maybe your master cylinder's fucked.

Its been spongy for 6 years and the breaks dont engage some times now sinking in without me having to put force on it.
I feel like if the master cylinder was bad it would always do that, would it?

>yfw ive been wrenching since i was 12
I normally give myself the entirety of a day off from work or two to do my work, I'm just cursed with drunken mechanic syndrome but thankfully nothing truly severe happens

Props scare the crap out of me. Never even thought a model plane could do that, and I already gave regular props a healthy berth when working around them.

OP here

At the time I was kinda in shock. Not crazy PTSD shock but "I can't believe I stabbed myself shock" and I mostly didn't want to get Gojo in the wound

Normally I wish my hand after every other job depending on what the job is

>mfw my drill bit slipped off the screw head and kinda gouged into my finger leaving a similar injury

It'll probably heal with a negligible scar desu

OP here

Half of your story reminds me of how my boss fixed a car. For future reference ifnI keep paying no on this board McGuver is my boss

> be a few days ago
> Toyota doesn't want to start
> battery terminals got issues
> find out somebody broke the ground terminal and the hot terminal is ducked up too
> boss finds out only positive is available through dealer
>ground terminal comes with Entire wiring harness
> boss decides entire wiring. Harness is too much work
> boss orders 2 positive terminals
> boss has me use cutting wheel to remove ground terminal
> boss tells me to drill a whole through what's left of the ground terminal so it would
Fit on the new terminal
> drill hole and terminal won't tighten
> boss tells me to take a cutting wheel and grind the terminal until it's smaller
> Mfw that works and the car starts just fine

>Decide to put new fluids in miata's transmission and differential
>never done this before
>transmission oil change goes smoothly
>aside from covering hand in old, warm trans oil
>timefordifferential.ogg
>watch my car piss black oil for 10 minutes
>filled him up with dat good good (Red Line 57904)
>plug his butt
>go to pour used oil back into bottles
>There's a dingleberry
>The differential's fill bolt's crush washer
>fuck it
>swap out my NB1 center console for an NB2 center console
>fuck yeah cup holders
>clean off crush washer and throw it in new center console
>still haven't put it back

It's been nearly a week and I haven't seen any oil puddles under my car's rear end. How fucked am I?

OP here

Hope you come though OK bro shit sucks

OP here

Hope you come though OK bro shit sucks

>> like to stab the bottles so they drain faster

Too stupid to squeeze the bottles so they empty much faster than draining.

WOW. I commend you on posting though.

>>being so poor you have to do your own maintenance

Not OP but am a mechanic and DO NOT WANT other people doing my maintenance, especially oil change monkeys overtorquing my drain plugs.

If I hit the lottery I'd buy a bigger shop and still do my own maintenance, repairs and modiifications.

The level of stupid even in fancy dealerships boggles the fucking mind.

OP HERE

If you haven't seen any puddles your good bro

>Helping friend lower his car
>I think it's a bad idea but whatever the car's a piece of shit anyways
>Friend removes front struts and compresses springs
>removes springs and starts cutting coils off, half a coil at a time
>I get bore and leave at some point
>Next day he takes me for a ride
>car is bouncy as shit
>He cut the springs down to one coil
>Car bottoms out constantly, rides like pure shit
>Goes to junkyard to pull used springs
>Puts spring compressing tool on wrong, slips and nearly annihilates him
>Car gets towed to a suspension shop to repair this broken mess
>The whole fucking time, they all have the DYEL face
>They tell him "Don't ever do this again, you have no idea what you're doing"

I got a few other stories with this car, all equally as shitty

>It's been nearly a week and I haven't seen any oil puddles under my car's rear end. How fucked am I?

If it was gonna leak, it would have by now. Make sure plug is tight (not stupid tight, correctly tight) and drive on.

Nope.
Definitely nonwhite.

Brake problems are basic to isolate. Bleed and if it's still fucked but doesn't leak, replace master cylinder would be my choice.

That's the "poor" option. I'd replace the master cylinder then bleed everything if the master isn't insanely expensive.

If you unbolt the master from the vacuum booster and see leakage the master is bad, but they can also fail internally and not leak out the ass.

I really suggest you post in brand specific vehicle forums or at least post year, make and model. Not all vehicles are identical and Veeky Forums "no details" posting customs are retarded.

>brown eyes
Fucking mixed scum

OP here

Irish ancestry so guess by /pol/ standards I'm not white

>using SAE fucking scum

Just because your ancestors lived in ireland, doesn't mean you have ethnic Irish ancestry.
You can tell by your finger nails you have non-white in you. But you appear white in this photo.
Face pic is required to confirm passable as white.
You also have fat fingers.

Knew a guy from my car club that wanted to do coilovers himself. He jacked up one side and was going to do them left/right instead of front/rear. Taking off the sway bar and as soon as the nut it off it whips out and pins his wrist against the body. He had to wait half an hour for someone to help him because his phone was in the car and nobody was around. Turns out it broke his wrist too so thats a painful 30 minutes hes never going to forget.
If you dont know how to work on cars dont touch it. If you think you know how to work on cars definitely dont touch it

it's my birthday so I guess I drank enough to post a face pic

My eyes are blue if you can't tell by the picture so OP confirmed not shit skin

I hand torqued it so it should be sufficiently tight. Thanks guys

Happy birthday guy. Friendly reminder that this is the faggot that's calling you a nigger.

OP here

That's kinda whyxI like when rice patties want work done at my shop.

It shows a certain kind of humility so can respect

You're not Irish.
You look eastern euro, probably something like a mixed Romanian.
Which is non-white. But most people just group you in with whites anyway.

Fuck off, mechanic shill. People have to learn somehow so they don't get screwed by kikes like you.