Let's be honest now

Veeky Forums did

Get back to twatter, you fucking crybaby. You'll do humanity more use bitching there than here.

Kick him the fuck off.

unless it was a girl then i would probably fuck her on the hood

Tell him to fuck off, if he doesn't get in my car and start driving slowly. Keep giving him chances to get off, then eventually floor it and if he manages to stay on, drive to my local police station.

i would flip a literal shit and anyone around me who knows me would be shouting at them to get off while restraining me

idc how big or mean or imposing you look i will confront anyone who touches my baby without permission

Just tell him to get the fuck off my car. If he doesn't get the fuck off my car, grab him and throw him the fuck off my car.

Why would you do anything else?

Tell him to get off the car, nicely. If he doesn't take the hint im driving off anyway

>if he manages to stay on
Holding on isn't that hard. I've done 65 with my brother on the hood.

Granted I wasn't swerving or laying on the brakes trying to shake him.

Happened to me at the beach, some fat landwhale decided to lay across my hood for some fucking reason. Went up to him asked wtf he was doing, told him to get the fuck off my car, he looked so suprised that the owner saw him.

Take off and brake hard at 70 mph. Enjoy the show.

"Yo bro, you mind?" With a look of disgust and contempt on my face.

That or blow vape smoke at his face.
>cuz he be sittin' on my subaru's hoodscoop

>Yank him off.
Bet you would.

Politely tell him to get the fuck off my car. If he fails to do so, i put my knuckledusters on and shatter his jaw.

Id smash the windows and call police on the guy. He would be in jail for month or untill i declare that i wont push charges, whatever comes first.

Driving with diplomatic plates is closest to being god i guess.

Kek

> Hey, get off my fucking car
If he gets off, fine.
If he doesn't, tell him again, then get in the car and drive off.

Same

>What the fuck are you doing on my car?
>Set off alarm
>Drive off

There's also a scratch just above the ford logo that I could blame on them if it got to the point of a fight or the cops being called

Tranny detected

>*puts knuckle dusters on and shatters jaw*
>back the fuck off

>back the fuck off?!???!?
ftfy

Call the police and say I'm being carjacked

Quietly walk up, unlock my passenger door and retrieve my Cz75

"Hey nigger, get the fuck off"

Check to see if the cunt had metal in his pants that would've scratched my hood. If so then rob him of his wallet and leave

>What would you Beta fags do if you came back to your parked car with someone sitting on the hood

I'd take pictures and take him to court to pay for the ALUMINUM hood which he dented. Pix needed since without them, it becomes "he said, she said" and nothing happens with the police or court.

Of course, he will say it was already dented. Or it was a prank. Or he sat there because someone else who was already sitting there on the previously dented hood told him to. Teenagers and manchildren (thinking like teens despite their age) use excuses like that.

Put him in the back of the van he's sitting on

I never understood why this was a big deal until I drove a modern vehicle. That shit dents even if I barely lean on it, much less sit.

this

ma nigga

Call him a fag, because the hood ornament would be up his ass.

>I never understood why this was a big deal until I drove a modern vehicle. That shit dents even if I barely lean on it, much less sit.

A lot of new cars now come with aluminum hoods. It saves weight and of course is easier to stamp out than steel hoods. The problem is that it dents easily from people leaning on it or sitting on it. Since aluminum stretches under deformation, the large dents cannot be easily removed if at all.

Tell them I will come back in a few minutes and hope they're off the car by then.

>Drive Mk3 supra
>hood made of ~14 gage plate steel
>Fucking Eucalyptus tree fell on car's front end and the dents are unnoticeable, window's spotless.

i'd be nice 2bh
fuck, id probably just ask if he was interested in the car he was sitting on. and try to find out some other motive about why he's there.

hey, maybe he's had a shit day, and in his doldrums he didn't think twice about sitting on someone else's hood.

If it's a guy like in the picture I'd just tell him to get the fuck off my car

If it's some 500 kg superduperschwarzenegger I might aproach a little differently, but that's it

teleport behind him

First, I'd be amazed that they managed to stay on an E150's short sloped hood.

Followed by telling them to get off the hood. If they refuse, pull them off.

...

Would this have been Veeky Forumss response?

>pull out smartphone
>Summon Mode
>Take video of car driving off with him on hood

No. Dropkick into one, recover from slipping your disk on the windowsill of the door on impact, suplex the second one onto the asphalt while standing on the first, then grab the first one and batista her while standing on door like it's the top rope and you're about to win the belt.

nice pistol man

Uh, why?

Tell that bitch she owes me a free night of unprotected sex.

"Oi!"

"Get off my car you dopey cunnnnt"

"Yeah? The fuck you going to son?"

And when the fight starts I'll run away like a bitch and they'll chase after me. But I ran track in highschool so once I get enough distance I'll lap around the block, hop in my car and merrily drive away.

>DEJA VU I HAVE BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE
at the top of my lungs like a maniac

Ask the shit kindly to get off, ask him why he do this and this piss on him to establish dominance

Any metal stretches with deformation/elongation. They are elastic to a certain point then plastic deformation occurs, permanently changing the shape.

>fell for the Veeky Forums meme

No tears, only dreams now

normies get off my hood
HONKKKKKK

>Tell that bitch she owes me a free night of unprotected sex.

Even trying to say that means you have sexually assaulted her and she can charge you with attempted rape.

>pretend he's not there
>get in my car
>floor it
>then rip a skid

"get the fuck off my car"
"no"
*get in car and drive away*

"get the fuck off my car, what the fuck are you doing?"

Pretty self explanatory? I'll fucking stomp their shit in if they try to start something over it rofl

You wouldn't do shit

>sitting on the hood of my bike
Wut

Why break the windows? What does that accomplish?

Find something else to do and hope he goes away.

Well, they could just sit on your bike.

It wasnt me officer. it was my car!

I dont have a hood but i'll turn on the engine

get on their back and squeeze into their crotch until they moan

start my car and launch off of rev limiter headed to the nearest freeway, id like to see how long he can hold on for.

There's a reason I EDC a switchblade.

>implying they could get up there

this, especially if its the stupid looking fuck in op

Scream "CO JEST KURWA"

Wew

>pic related

I wonder what the laws are about this. Is one's car considered to be an extension of one's home?

You must be at least 18 years old to post on Veeky Forums

Don't say anything, just drive away.

Hold him down and submit him hard by sticking my cock into his boipussi

had this happened before. woke up to get ready, in kitchen, look out window, and some fat african was taking a phone call while sitting on my car. I confronted him, told him get the fuck off the phone, get off my car, and told them don't ever do it again. his car was right next to mine and I asked him why the fuck didn't he use his own car. he apologized but in that way like a kid who is being force to say it. I repeated don't ever do it again. He scoffed and went back to his phone call in his car.

no idea how the alarm didn't go off. I was fucking mad though. I have a picture of the fat fucker somewhere I took from my apt window

ugly mother fucker asked me for a battery jump a few days later. Told him nope, even though I jumped another neighbors car earlier in the week. he parked his car in the illegal parking spot. called the towing company and he got his car towed within an hour (lived in an area where parking was bad). Around the time when I was moving out I noticed he had a dog he was walking every morning before the office opened. Went to go drop off the keys and he was there asking about shit to office. Asked him how his dog was doing, and how I didn't know they allowed animals now. It was a strict no animals apt complex, $150 minimum fine.

some petty revenge shit, but damn it felt good nigga

What fucking cunt randomly leans on someone else's car? Piece of shit deserved it

Punch on