Why aren't you a Mormon, Veeky Forums?

Mormons are hilarious. They are truly living proof of how fucking stupid most people are.

youtube.com/watch?v=CtBe_nehW3A

I actually spoken with an Elder couple a few times cause I was bored. They really are super nice, and definitely know a lot about their religion. But I couldn't get straight answers out of them on some of the bigger theological differences between Mormonism and mainstream Christianity. It felt a lot like a sales pitch designed to reel you in and get you invested in the community before letting you in on some of the weirder parts, like that God also has a father

>religion

tips fedora

I would convert for the traditional life style, but their mythology is just too much to stomach.

tips con-man fanfic

Anyone who's done research into Joseph Smith's life and doesn't realize immediately that he was a con-artist is a fucking idiot, full-stop.

I told them I was jewish but they didn´t go away "we have the same god" and all that so I had to lie and tell them I was a card-carryng communist party member, that did it

I don't understand how you could actually know the story of Joseph Smith and still think it's legitimate. Like that nonsense with the hat and "seer stones?" Come on, it's so blatant

The same could be said about The Bible

The history of the old and new testament are much murkier, Jesus in particular being a very vague character in history.

Joseph Smith on the other hand, we have actual evidence that he couldn't read Egyptian and was just making shit up.

The same could be said about Jesus Christ.

they're basically communists
joseph smith attempted to establish a communal american zion in ohio

DUM DE DUM DUM DUM DUM

DUM DE DUM DUM DUM DUM

DUM DE DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM

they also were trying to take a peek at my bookshelves, I thought it was part of their training

You have to wear them to temple, outside of that, they're optional but expected.

However, missionaries have to wear them all the time.

Because I'm not racist, nor if heaven were to exist, it certainly wouldn't be in fucking Missouri.

for what purpose?

Having been baptised as a mormon, it's 100% about being reeled into the community, that's what pulled me in, and wanting to believe in a higher power. Eventually I got tired of the stupidity of most of the people, I couldn't go along with it because I can't lie to myself.

I'm open to religion but not something so blatantly false.

they're supposed to be symbolic of the covenants between you and Heavenly Father.

That and smoking are one of the hardest things about their life-style I reckon.

The Mormons seemed to have constructed themselves an impressive house of cards. No one can deny their financial success or the very appealing front they put on (literally every practicing mormon I've ever met has been clean cut and friendly). But delving even a little bit into the truly insane history of the church and their doctrine is a sharp juxtaposition. No wonder so many young people are leaving or just lapsing from the church these days.

Maybe I'm a filthy degenerate but I could give up cigarettes and coffee and tea and chocolate and whatever else so long as I could have a few fucking drinks on the weekend. No such luck though, I wonder how many Mormons can stick to that rule once they go off to college. Maybe that's why they try to send them away on missions during that time of their youth.

More stay with it than leave. Benefits-wise, it's better to just go with it, they usually end up happy, married, well off and get an immense amount of support. They're all incredibly nice well meaning people.

I'm not American.

I've met quite a few mormon missionaries here (ausfag) and apparently there's a church nearby but i've never met a convert

Plenty of mormons in the US and over-seas go to BYU campuses which enforce the same moral code.

I know a few mormons who practise, and behind closed doors are gay, smoke, drink, do drugs etc.

I think they do it to maintain a more healthy mental life, I found that the ones that did these things were the smarter ones.

>They're all incredibly nice well meaning people.
They stop being so nice when you try to leave the church.

I'm and I'm Australian. I was at a low point in my life when I met the missionaries through a friend and the need I had for community, friends and support trumped me knowing it was false.

I still think about going to church, but I'm not going to. I still maintain they're the nicest most supportive and helpful people I've ever met.

>No such luck though, I wonder how many Mormons can stick to that rule once they go off to college
Always bring two Mormons with you on a fishing trip.
If you bring only one he'll drink all your beer.

There's a shitload of alcohol sales in Utah.

Not from my experience, but I can imagine it's different for those born into it and there would be differences amongst Elders, Bishops and Stake Presidents all over the world.

Probably the strangest thing about mormon's and interacting with them is for most of them, particularly the younger generation, they seem incredibly false.

apparently they have crazy high pornography consumption

They have the highest amount of porn subscriptions. I think they actually rank fairly low in overall porn consumption.

This just tells me that a lot of well to do Mormon patriarchs like to jack off to HD porn shot in the valley and hell, I can't blame them.

That's true. At church I heard about support groups to quit porn addiction, and even at a fast & testimony meeting a girl spoke about how bad porn was.

They are so nice they actually pay for their porn?

Stealing it would be a sin, Brother.

Amen.

I don't know why I laughed so hard
Maybe because I can just imagine them saying it

I know a tiny bit about BYU because it, oddly, has a really good animation program. But they enforce the religious rules on all their students?

Fucking coffee?

They don't force non-mormon students to attend services or anything, but they do have to stick by the same (or a similar) moral code.

And yeah, no coffee, tea, tobacco, alcohol, porn, masturbation etc etc. It's called the Word of wisdom here: lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/89.1-21?lang=eng#0

Also this just reminded me, they don't drink wine at services either, just water.

Their reasoning for it is sketchy, basically 'wine back then wasn't that strong'.

It's only hot coffee and tea, though, as far as I know.

Technically yes, but plenty of teachers in the church would just think of that as a cop-out.

It's also soda. The original verse forbids "hot drinks" and alcohol but the modern church considers anything with caffeine to be just as bad as coffee.

nope

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Word_of_Wisdom#Popular_application

I forgot about that. Whenever I ate with this elderly missionary couple (great people) they always had juice.

Well that has to be bullshit, because my step-grandmother is Mormon and chugs cans of Diet Coke like crazy.

Well just like every religion, some people are more or less devout about certain things. How many Christians do you know that waited for marriage?

See No official church stance, but an implicit one by Apostles and some Prophets.

Still odd, because they were raised in the church and basically live exclusively through it, pride themselves on avoiding sin, proud of missionary son, etc.

cause a cursory familiarity with history and the archaeological record demonstrates that Mormonism is pure pull shit.....the story is just completely made up by a loon who was lucky most people in his day didnt know any better

what are their views on creationism/evolution?
also how the fuck do they reconcile their religion in the face of lack of archaeological evidence for semitic civilisations in the americas?

Most people fucking hated mormons and they were literally hunted like foxes and everyone who grew up around Joseph Smith knew he was a fucking cheat and huckster.. Through sheer incomprehensible luck the church actually found their Zion and founded the state of Utah. The story is so insane it would be compelling fiction, as it stands it's one of the most sublime parts of American history,

Yeah, you expect mormons, JW's, etc to be like that.

First JW I met was a total whore who would fuck anyone. She was raised in it though and that's how she rebelled.

Sometimes you are so deep in shit you just don't bother anymore.

>what are their views on creationism/evolution?
They have no official position

>also how the fuck do they reconcile their religion in the face of lack of archaeological evidence for semitic civilisations in the americas?

They don't, the church continues to maintain that the Book of Mormon actually happened.

I never asked that, but I know they'd say something about faith and with evidence it's pointless.

there is also the mormon minor scripture that was translated from some papyrus that Joseph Smith bought....trouble is that what of it has been preserved Egyptologists clearly tell its just standard funerary text

aparently a large chunk of BYU's archaeology department is just mormon aplogetics trying to sidestep a big old lack of any evidence...a while back tho they tried to claim mayan had hebrew roots

I've heard they're mostly creationists. I don't know how they reconcile the lack of evidence, but I would guess they say the evidence is hidden or lost.

I don't buy into major religions, what makes you think these whack ass cults can be even more convincing?

Yeah if you want some really creative mental gymnastics look into the Book of Abraham. It's a dead obvious case of fraud that the church thought they'd never have to worry about since the scrolls were thought lost in the Chicago fire. I can only imagine the initial joy of finding out they'd survived and the resulting horror once real scholars got to take a look at them.

God is white and if you do alright you can populate an entire planet with your goddess waifu.

If this sounds unappealing I guess you're a fag or something, idk.

It sounds way more dank than a major religion because it is closer knit ye fool.

I'm not white. If anything, Mormons & Protestants = Child abusers in my country since Pedophilia is a white-person crime after all.

I thought the Catholics, especially the priestly caste had the monopoly on child diddling, the protties are bringing the heat now too?

>Not indulging in religion
Spook detected

Because I'm not white. Otherwise I'd totally join it just for the community and connections. Mormons do very well for themselves.

how are they so fucking rich
I mean in my country, which is quite secular, they build solid modern churches with facilities like basketball courts etc. yet the very few adepts they make don´t justify the investment. I mean there is a mormon temple in every small provincial city

They get a tithe from all their members in addition to being very supportive of eachother's businesses. I imagine that, similar to the Jews, their focus on education and family pressure breed a culture of material success.

what country?

Family used to be Mormon when I was a kid.
I fucking hated going to church, thank god my parents realized how much of a bullshit religion it is before I got baptized.

a spic one

We don't even know if Jesus existed, but we do know that Joseph Smith existed and he was a humble man.

Mormon born and raised here.

Baptized when I was 8, stopped going around 11 or 12 when I moved across the country to live with my Father's family.

I've been to basically every Mormon major holy sight like Joseph Smith's cabin and Nauvoo, been to Salt Lake City many times, etc.

AMA

Ever do anything that went against moral codes that got you in deep shit?

how strict are they on the coffee and tea prohibitions?

Not really. I remember getting in trouble a few times for drinking soda with friends, and I had a weird inexplicable habit of drawing cocks on women in my Mom's fashion mags, but I never got into any deep shit.

I was too young to really understand why those things were "wrong" when I was a kid.

Depends on the generation in my experience. The younger generation (30 or younger) don't give a single shit while the older generation are pretty strict.

When I visit my Mom's family I bring both soda and tea into the house regularly and they have never commented on it.

So are you jack mormon now or what. This is Veeky Forums so I'm assuming yes.

>I had a weird inexplicable habit of drawing cocks on women in my Mom's fashion mags
are you into futa by any chance?

Nah, I don't consider myself Morman at all. I'm agnostic I guess, or more accurately, I don't really care either way.

Interestingly enough though, to this day i've never had a drop of alcohol or any tobacco. I've smoked weed a few times but that's the only intoxicant i've ever gone out of my way to use.

Only futa on women, futa on futa or on men is gross, and obviously traps and trannies are disgusting.

I also like the power aspect of futa x women more than the aesthetics, something about a woman having the power to make another women a slave to her cock is arousing to me.

I've known ten mormons and all of them were either bipolar or autistic, and just generally shitty, two faced people. Is it just a coincidence or does being raised Mormon result in major personality defects?

>obviously traps and trannies are disgusting.
Shit taste senpai

Dick is an acquired taste, I suppose.

Mormons don't have hell

>Their reasoning for it is sketchy, basically 'wine back then wasn't that strong'.

Lol. It was actually far stronger back then. So strong that the wine was mixed with water for normal (non-orgiastic) consumption.

Try to dilute with water a wine made today.

>traps are disgusting
kys

I never understood why christian sects and groups are against alcohol. The Bible pretty clearly states alcohol is fine but drunkenness is not. Jesus literally drinks wine.

like all christians they just pick and choose to try justify muh pure form of the faith

Proverbs 20:1
Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.

>indulging in religion for its own sake as though it were some sort of sacrosanct thing

Does it hurt to be so spooked?