So I'm looking around for cheap cars, and I wonder about hearses.
Hear me out
Pro's:
* You know they previous owner did maintenance as much as possible. Who wants to have a hearse break down during a funeral?
* Low mileage - 60-80k on the clock
Cons:
* it'll be a GM
* Car might be haunted
>older brother wants to buy a camper
>decides on getting a hearse and retrofitting it
>pulls up in front of our house to pick up some stuff
>leaves
>neighbors start bringing food over thinking someone died
>good eats for a few days
anyone?
I figure you gut the back and use land rover style bench seats inside.
yes it would be a good buy plus it's a lot of fun when I was a kid my dad had one, he would tunr the headlights on during the day and drive like 15mph all oncoming traffic would pull to the shoulder
Due to them being custom vehicles, you won't get hold of one until it's a maintenance-intensive moneypit and all but dead.
All those miles are city miles.
Short trips everywhere.
Rear suspension's fucked from carrying fat people and their fat families.
People will expect you to dress, look, and act like Marylin Manson when you pull up in it.
Mind you, a local crematorium has an old Jaguar hearse that looks pretty good. XJS front end, still fairly low and sleek all around, and proper bodywork instead of american-style vinyl crap on the back.
>People will expect you to dress, look, and act like Marylin Manson when you pull up in it.
But that's the best part
The most common ones I can think of are caddy hearses. Beware of the 32V Northstar V8, once that shit hits 100k, the engine leaks oil out of every surface imaginable. Oil leak sealer will be your best friend. Also in caddy fashion, expect things to go wrong at the 100k mark, including electrical wiring and glitches.
>Rear suspension's fucked from carrying fat people and their fat families.
Anyone have the article screenshot where the obese ded guy actually broke the suspension?
Assuming that you like that sort of thing, sure.
I hear everyone's dying for a ride.
I died and I currently reside in a hearse. Be careful OP.
>old Jaguar hearse that looks pretty good
There are people out in this world that would call this a 'fastback'
>implying you wouldnt
just get a grand marquis or a town car
Fuck, I would call that a fastback
What do they put in that thing? Dead cats?
I would
Speed freaks (or what's still left of them) after nasty crashes.
Link?
plasti dip
>hasn't seen harold and maude.
Fucking children, the lot of you.
Don't tell em. They will develop some fucked up fetishes
>harold and maude
movie was gay
CROWN VIC
R
O
W
N
V
I
C
Dad joke acknowledged.
I'd love a blacked out and slightly lowered one.
That's more like a shooting brake.
If they haven't developed some by visiting Veeky Forums they won't ever will.
Only if your a special snowflake.
take it back user
right the fuck now
Motherfucker IM waiting.
I can wait all fucking night.
TAKE IT BACK!!!
Goes well with a fedora.
Just make sure you're buying it straight from a parlor and not from some methed out Harley rider.
...
You dont sound like you have anything better to do
get a flower car instead
But if you're looking for a cheap reliable set of wheels, you can't go wrong with an auction p71
>watching shit low brow """comedies"""
kill yourself
>Due to them being custom vehicles, you won't get hold of one until it's a maintenance-intensive moneypit and all but dead.
This guy is talking right out of his ass. The main reason for hearses going up for sale is that you can't have a funeral using a really old hearse.
Just imagine how stupid it would look for an old 80s box hearse in a convoy of modern cars. They don't want that image so they upgrade to something newer every few years.
Source for this being that I knew the owner of a funeral home.
they could put donk wheels on 80s hearses and use them for funerals for niggers. missed business opportunity there.
hearses are not haunted, ambulances are haunted, no one dies in a hearse
but they are for tryhard edgelords desu
Would be alright if it didn't look this hacked up and if there was actually a properly finished bed hiding underneath that tray.
>tfw you would a hearse but they're even larger on our already small European roads and they usually have small as fuck engines because all they're laid out for is transporting a corpse or two at dignified speed
Could've bought this exact car for three and a half grand a year or so ago and didn't, feels bad in retrospect because it looks so cool. It's not actually a stretched wagon, but a stretched, wagonized sedan.
>p71
Say hello to idle wear
My dad's a cop, nearly everyone in his department has their cruiser running the entire shift
Doesn't make them any less reliable. The engines are bullet proof (intake manifold excluded).
Idle hours are cancer. Get a Grand Marquis instead, same car but less likely to have the shit beaten out of it.
P71s have some extra doodads for cooling and the tranny shifts higher but the interior is about as barebones as James May's sex life and you won't get any of the cool shit you can find on civvie CVs, MGMs or Town Cars (bench seat with column shift, digital dashboard, Handling/Performance pack for limited slip rear end, etc).
>Just imagine how stupid it would look for an old 80s box hearse in a convoy of modern cars
And yet, they've been using the same 1980s Jag hearse for years. Maybe it's an american consumercuck thing that NEW THINGS EVERY FEW YEARS ANYTHING OLDER THAN FIVE YEARS IS ANCIENT AND OUTDATED REPLACE IT BUY BUY BUY SPEND SPEND SPEND is pushed onto people 24/7.
You think euros are better? All I see is the newest e-class hearses, half of them with swapped cls front fascia to look cooler and more modern. You must live in shithole to still see old hearses.
You don't get rid of a classic Jag after you've gone through the effort of modifying it. They have Jag limos, as well.