I came down from karak norn one day looking to sell some arrows to some guy I knew in some Brettonian shithole, when I noticed a light coming from somewhere out in the woods alongside the path I was on. Being the inquisitive dawi I am I went to go investigate, and stumbled upon a tranquil little pond I had never seen before. The glow was coming from the pond itself, and I was ready to leave and write it off as elf non-sense when all of the sudden, this tall beautiful woman rose from the pond, butt-ass naked, with long perfect hair that just barely covered her tits - now I usually like my woman short and hairy, but this was an opportunity I could not pass up. So this lady just pounces on me, still covered in pondwater, and starts ripping me armor off! Next thing you know I'm shoving my huge, thick 4 inch dwarven cock into this lady's asshole (she said she was saving her virginity for some wazzock named leon). After about 4 hours of violating her tight pink asshole (dawi are known for their endurances), I pull out and spray her supple tits with a massive load of my mineral-rich seed. As I'm getting dressed and getting ready to leave the lady (as she calls herself) sinks back into her little pond, but not before giving me a piece of parchment with the address of some place in athel loren so that we can meet up later and shag again. As I put the paper in my pocket, I noticed my az was gone, replaced by an umgi-sized blade that was surrounded by this magical pale flame, just like those horse-knights use.
Long story short, I'm now eskimo brothers with every single grail knight in brettonia
Well I got kemmler. I already did a campaign with him but that was before The King The Warlord dlc. Should I bother doing it again? Has his campaign gotten any better?
Jack Rodriguez
THE LADY DID NOT PREPARE ME FOR THIS, BUT I SHALL REMAIN STRONG
Sebastian Perez
Should I play vanilla third age or DAC?
Wyatt Rogers
They're actually pretty good
>Great starting area, similar to the Ikko Ikki, with blacksmithing, high fertility and chokepoints >dat income and repression bonus >also le haha obama wuz da president n shieet
Anthony Williams
Same fucking turn.
I've never fought beastmen before, fuck these niggers.
Ayden Price
do you try to complete chapter side objectives? I know burning through the chapters makes chaos spawn faster, but some of the objectives are fucking impossible.
Juan Robinson
That lord will pretty much solo your army.
Nicholas Perry
Can you fuck a Harpy?
Asher Perry
I try as much as possible because it feels better and the gold bonus is nice. I wish the main objectives were more detailed like the side objectives, capture/raze/sack 20 villages is such a lame main objective.
Michael Wright
Their talons would be extremely painful.
Owen Wilson
perhaps he is wondering why she would claw a man before dropping him from such a height
Isaac Williams
...
Henry Green
Why the fuck do soldiers in my armies keep defecting when trying to start a battle? (FOTS)
Jacob Hughes
loyalty of general
David Peterson
Should I declare war on the Pope? He keeps breaking my balls over Ravenna and calling Charlie to come in and fuck me up for him. I'm sick of his passive aggressive shit, but I also don't know what the consequences are like.
Luis Adams
unless you are on legendary you should create a save and then just go for it
Jaxon Hall
Excommunication and severe diplomatic penalty with all Christian factions.
Attack the pope you pussy.
Evan Edwards
Fuck the lily white bastard. I'll put in my own fucking pope.
Landon Myers
now rename your best army "the papal bulls"
Luke Scott
How you like me now?
Going north now to find Charlie.
Ryder Reyes
I wish the theme of sicily mod didn't make them so overpowered, its like the guy copy pasted stats from the grand campaign without realising that they work differently in AoC, its like missile damage, all units have 39, except avars, but he gave all ERE archers 49 which makes them extremely strong, and the 75 damage on xbows is insane by AoC standards, it should be 60 max
Evan Gutierrez
vintage carpet
Ryder Fisher
guys which tw should i buy for the mad mawds, atilla or Rome 2?
Zachary Rodriguez
not sure why the sprites are so blurry in some of these screenshots might have to mess with AGP memory
Landon Ward
Gentlemen, how do we make Beastmen fun?
Landon Evans
I love playing as Beastie Boyz
Benjamin Williams
Rome 2 is terrible and has only one noteworthy mod.
Adam Long
fuck off radious
Aaron Price
Makes me want to play Myth 2
Alexander Morgan
If a lord has a skill that increases his...reinforcement range does that increase the area of control he has to catch enemy forces in an ambush? I've got this general who in my head is just the absolute master of gorilla warfare, he's got a bunch of ambush skills, and whose current purpose in life is recreating 'Nam in Athel Loren against the Knife Eared Charlie.
Of course the AI cheats and i'm sure will just pixel walk past somehow, but If I could close off this choke that would be great.
Also what would be the best ambushing forces for the Empire or Brettonia (I plan to have one general once Bretonnia is released similar to that pissed off Englishman from the Patriot)
John Edwards
Gentlemen, how do we make Greenskins survive?
Jacob Roberts
Charlie finally showed up. This isn't going to end well for him.
Joshua Morris
>the papal bulls
Landon Robinson
It was the army that took Rome as well. My elderly king died during the battle, but Charlie and his frankish fuckboys were thoroughly destroyed.
Bentley Watson
>mfw it's stabby time
Jackson Miller
you fukt up
Chase Wilson
How so?
Luis Smith
by losing your king
Easton Cruz
He was blind, flaccid and sterile, as well as being 80something years old. It's no great loss.
Bentley Martin
After losing Lyon to my forces Charlie starts to get second thoughts. It is not yet time to come to the bargaining table though.
Daniel Richardson
The Everchosen? More like the Evergay
Ryan Nelson
>enemy generals face when their wooden shitships blown up by foreign ironclad
Thomas Martinez
More like the Eversmug
Jackson Nguyen
>Has a Dislikes Lombards trait >Not a Dislikes Saxons trait
Why though?
Benjamin Carter
thats a glorious ending user, you did well
Jeremiah Myers
I like this pasta
Bentley Fisher
Fuck off shitmarite
Jeremiah Ward
When will the Chaos Gods replace this shit-tier Everchosen with Attila?
Leo Myers
Because the Pope paid him off, the backstabbing fucker.
How do I fix this fucking mess? I have one person in my family that I can actually use to do anything and he's got jack shit for influence. I have to constantly secure loyalty of my generals and governors or they keep going rogue. The old king wasn't any better either.
Easton Robinson
now this is horsefuckery! have a taste of your own medicine northman scum.
Matthew James
Whoops, forgot pic.
Nathan Cooper
you should have adopted a few of the generals, also governor role gives a lot of influence eventually, so thats something you should have in your family
Michael Bell
Good to know. I've started suiciding my generals during battles to rid myself of the troublesome ones. I'm going to get my new king married off asap and then start adopting.
In the meantime, fucking vassals getting into all sorts of silly shit.
Ian Diaz
> Tomb Kings still not announced
Jayden Stewart
Ah, the old age tactic of sending generals alone against armies so they die. I perfected during Rome to get rid of sons who simply did not make the cut. Many won glory.
Nicholas Richardson
>I've started suiciding my generals during battles to rid myself of the troublesome ones
over 200 hours and this never once occurred to me
Jose Wilson
I did it alot in Rome and Shogun 2. Shogun to get rid of dudes who had low loyalty and at least slow down stacks and in Rome to get rid of Generals that had bad traits, like impotent and the like. Once I even had a guy actually win against barbars and then I decided to keep using him (not alone) until he was a perfect heir.
He was a good friend.
Mason Taylor
How did you even manage to get disloyal generals in Shogun 2?
Noah Walker
They weren't exactly disloyal, they had lvl 3 loyalty and that wasn't enough for me, I guess. I haven't played it in a long time, I've actually been enjoying Rome 2 for some reason.
Christian Martinez
By letting your daimyo have fewer stars than your generals; adopting sons for family generals, and promoting new generals for non-family generals.
Also by having a dishonorable daimyo you don't get that +2 loyalty bonus.
How did you even get a general with level 3 loyalty? In the lategame the bonus from honor alone kept most of them above 4, and the game throws Trait:Loyal at you for free.
Ethan Bell
OUR HORSES LOVE BLOOD
Joseph Diaz
I don't think I did at late game, I did in the beginning of campaigns or middle if I remember correctly. I dunno, I never put much thought into it I guess.
Gavin Green
WE WILL PIERCE THEIR HEARTS
Wyatt Fisher
I want a bearded barbar cupid drawing with that line
Austin Ward
>Hates the gods >plays right into their hands by destroying the world
DAMAGED
Hunter Campbell
you don't need to be married to adopt actually, also why is it Byzantine Empire and not Theme of Sicily?
Brody Morris
The marriage was to try and pump out some spawn as quickly as i could. I tried adopting but must have had bad luck or something, never worked. I think it's one of the mods I have on. There's a big AoC unit mod which I think changes it.
Isaiah Mitchell
>There's a big AoC unit mod which I think changes it. I'll have to check them out, the tiny unit variety is a major turn of despite the overall campaign being really fun
I also remembered another way to raise power - make sure its you who is occupying various office spots, in AoC office holders get a large influence per turn bonus, as opposed to the main campaign where it actually lowers your influence too much
What fucking difference does it make that the lady of the lake was Lileath to the Bretonnians. How does that make her any less the lady of the lake?
James Rogers
Will CA finally notice this meme and do something about it?
Carson Martinez
DLC when?
Ethan Garcia
Isn't Age of Sigmar the game where if you pretend you're riding a horse you gain a bonus or something?
Sebastian Robinson
Yeah I never knew why it really mattered. I read the end times passage and in there she's cold but then again so are most gods. It's not like humans have never had non human formed gods. She could have had more tact, but Jerrod went full fucking autistic in the whole whaaaah knife ears not round ears idea. Like what the fuck just save the world dude.
It's especially funny at his horror of being turned into eternal ghost warriors to defend lillieths realm, when fuck signature does the exact same thing to the storm cast eternals in age of sigmar. She's literally no different from sigmar except tits, pussy, being a QT and knife ears.
Nolan Walker
The game has a few jokes in its legacy unit rules yeah.
Jason Powell
>mfw cut content
Xavier Moore
Can I pirate DLC?
Liam Moore
because the brettonians hate elves, and if the peasants were to find out that they are kept in extreme poverty not to serve the benevolent protectors of the realm who provide their shield, but some knife-eared whore's fucktoys, shit would hit the fan
Ethan Garcia
Rome 2 faces in battles are great, aren't they?
Matthew Roberts
No
Hudson Price
>All I am surrounded by is fear >and manlets
Levi Roberts
If dwarfs hate elves so much, why dont they just take an armada of gyrocopters and go Vietnam on the forest?
Christian Perry
They don't hate elves. On 5th edition Bret's and woodies got along well. And after that the Bret's are at most uneasy about elves when they live next to the wood