I want one. Tell me why I shouldn't

Grand Marquis. I know it has the full V8.

My first car was an 80s oldsmobile, so the big doofy boats with faux woodpaneling, side shifters, and theater seats appeal to me.

Probably pretty easy then, it's got tons of parts that interchange with the LTD Crown Vic and both of them ran right up until 1992 at which point the box-body cars were replaced with the 'aero' bodies that were modeled after the massively successful Taurus (but still rode on the Panther platform and share lots of parts anyway).

Thanks friendly user. I'm not incredibly skilled(I've mostly lurked on Veeky Forums as a casual of the highest order)- but I'm motivated.

GM B bodies are better imo

I'd say go for it if you want

There's an user who browses here who has a Mercury Crown Vic and has consistent problems, its currently got a coolant leak. Just talked to him like an hour ago, I hope he's doing good.

Also remember that for most years up to 2004 with the fifth gen's release, the Panther bodies share an engine and often automatic transmission with that year's Mustang GT, either the 5.0 Windsor and AODE for the box cars or the 4.6 2v Modular and 4R70 for the aeros onwards (some earlier ones have the 5.8 that wasn't in the 'stangs). As you've probably guessed the same engine and trannies also wound up in lots of trucks so if you're strapped for cash and have to do a pick-a-part run, there's rarely a shortage of parts to be found if the engine is the problem area and if you have to go online instead the aftermarket for both the 5.0 and the 4.6 is HUGE. There's a couple differences here and there but usually nothing major, Google will help solve any questions there.

Crown Victoria is the Ford version, the Mercury version is the Grand Marquis.

>Ford Crown Victoria (was originally the Ford LTD Crown Vic, also includes the Crown Victoria Police Interceptor, or 'P71' from its production code)- standard Panther body
>Mercury Grand Marquis- slightly upscale version of the Crown Victoria, but for all intents and purposes it's the same car with different headlights and taillights. Same interior and same options, same trim levels with a different name (Crown Vic base and LX to the GrandMa GS and LS)
>Lincoln Town Car- luxury car, shares the platform and drivetrain but with unique body panels and interior, more luxury options as standard equipment (heated/memory/bench seats, more cupholders, exterior trim pieces, sometimes air ride suspension, etc). Shares less parts with the other two cars and can be harder to find an example in good condition as they're often scapped up for taxi/limo services
>Mercury Marauder- short-lived (2003-04) model that was essentially a Crown Victoria with Mercury badges, different seats, and a more powerful engine out of a top-trim Mustang

this

I'm looking at the Grand Marquis for the more upscale trim (leather seats and whatnot). And I don't want a retired cop car.

They're older and harder to find in my area. And don't they have an even bigger engine that will suck down even more gas?

>the more upscale trim (leather seats and whatnot).
Marquis still came with cloth seats, leather seats had to be optioned on. They do usually have leather, though.

>And I don't want a retired cop car.
Smart choice, P71s are nearly always beat to shit and that's before you even get to the interior and the holes in the roof.

>And don't they have an even bigger engine that will suck down even more gas?
Google gives the same estimates for both a late model B-body and a pre-2003 Panther (17 city, 26 highway), but you're correct, they started with a 305 cu-in engine before changing to two 350s, the latter of which being the same LT1 as in the fourth generation F-body twins and the Corvette (for comparison the 4.6 Modular equates out to 281 cu-in). The B-bodies are noticeably more powerful, though, something that was known even at the time and part of why the Caprice 9C1 police cruisers were in service for so long even after GM stopped production- they were way quicker off the line than the competing Crown Victoria interceptors, and for those looking for speed parts the aftermarket available for the GM small-block V8s is even larger than that of the Ford 5-point-bro.

You're right about them being older and harder to find, though- B-bodies were dead by the turn of the 21st century but the Panther lived on in all its 18 feet of pig iron and leather up to 2011.

>B-bodies were dead by the turn of the 21st century
honestly I wonder why? was it really because people hated the Caprice's design?

How did the B Bodies like the Caprice, the direct competitor to the Crown Vic- fail where the Vic succeeded? Even in fleet sales? Seems like GM just didn't bother to keep the platform alive while Ford stuck to it and upgraded it a bit every now and then