>windscreen washers not working
>thinking the nozzle is broken, pump works fine
>no pressure in the line
>try clearing out the nozzles
>nothing working still
>what the fuck is happening
Turns out there was no washing fluid in the container. At least no one else knows
wow you fucking idiot i've never done anything remotely stupid in my 2 years of driving KID
Kek, why did you not check first?
there was some water residue on the dipstick so I assumed it was alright, but it must have been just some leftover
And it was working 10% of the time when it was stopped, but driving 110kmh it wouldn't work at all. Guess it makes sense now since the water would have gone all the way to the back
Sounds reasonable
>Installing parts on car
>Need to switch to 12mm socket
>Forgot that I stuck it in my pocket earlier
>"where the fuck did I put this thing?"
>12mm deep socket wont fit in the space
>Search for HOURS
>Walk to vatozone since it is only a 10minute walk
>go to buy the socket
>reach in pocket
>heart sinks
>buy the socket anyway out of shame
>still have the socket to this day
This socket is a monument to my failure.
put it in a picture frame and hang it on your wall
This
I should hang it from my rear view mirror so whenever im feeling road ragey, it will remind me I I'm also a fucking idiot that makes mistakes.
>posts this on Veeky Forums
>At least no one else knows
>the water would have gone all the way to the back
Only if you're accelerating. If you're traveling at a constant speed the liquid would lie flat at the bottom.
>Pulling apart motorcycle carbies to clean jets
>float bowl cover off, pulling out jets
>funny looking jet thing won't come out (there's all sorts of funny gadgets in tubes on carbies so don't judge me too harshly)
>get needle nose pliers
>yank the shit out of it
"Wow it's really stuck in there!"
>realize it's the needle attached to the slide
>it's not meant to come out that way
I'm sure it's not the only time I've said to myself "You fucken idiot", I'll search my memory for more.
>open door
>get in car
>pull out of garage
I got a good one
>changing oil
>finished, just need to double check the oil level
>start engine, sit on car a couple minutes
>turn engine off and get out
>oil everywhere
>fucking EVERYWHERE
>all over the windshield, engine bay, hood, jay dee em strut bar
>coat of oil on my windshield for two weeks
Never forgot to put my oil cap on again
>need to reverse car a foot or two in driveway
>leave door open and just roll it back in neutral since the driveway is on an incline
>fail to notice my mom's Jeep with its bigass mud tires directly in line with my door
>THUNK
>door slams into tire and bends it to all hell
>tire doesn't even have a mark on it
>had to get a new door because mine wouldn't close anymore
Feels awful being a dumbass
Dawn dish soap will get rid of any oil
>backing out of driveway with no rear view
>have to turn at the end
>looking back and don't pay attention to front end
>hit fence
>bumper gets hooked and breaks into a million pieces
Luckily found a matching better condition one at the pull a part
You can usually tell that it is empty
What was on your mind during this troubleshooting phase?
>I've done much, much worse than that trust me but it isn't Veeky Forums related
>work on mah car
>drop a wrench in
>doesnt drop on the ground
>spend a healthy amount of time trying to find it
I got one
>buy Ge car
>going to check the Veeky Forums test
>starting up cold and floor it to a stutter
>owner makes my face
>himself standing beside my being with bottle of empty transaxle oil
Never again
What
>truck been misfiring for like two weeks
>replace spark plugs twice, clean throttle body, clean EGR valve
>out of ideas at this point, dad and I about to resort to pulling the head off and checking the valves and/or the injectors
>it was the spark plug wires
Throttle body was dirty as fuck anyways though so it's all good.
You're an idiot. I hope that a lamb fartz on you
>something stops working
>check fuses
>it's the actual part
Or
>check the part
>It's the fuse
Every. Fucking. Time.
>setting up wiring for extra headlamps
>finish
>do a test
>no light
>start looking at the wires, connections and whatnot
>realise I have forgotten to put a fuse in the fuse holder
I do this every fucking time I wire up extra headlights...
who here /dumbdreamermale/ and cant into engineering or any other mechanical stuff? basically female but in a male form
>tfw dont know how any of that stuff works under the hood
You smell bad and your battery is in the trunk, like your heart is in your ass in your human form.
Your mom was a lamb who farted you out, and that's the true meaning of LAMB FART
Remember me bros, Im dat nigga wit da smokin WS6. Gettin pussy left n right
I ran a bunch of red lights last night. Would i get one big ticket or several?
Not all flashed, like them cameras on the posts
So idk bros
I cant lose my car, is too beast
Sisters Volvo 740
Has had problems on and off with misfiring.
Have to tow it home one day. "it stopped, fix it"
Ok, start by checking fuel, it pumps fuel.
Pull a sparkplug, no spark, fuuuu its electric.
Coil has juice.
Check the timing thingy-majig on the flywheel.
The piece of shit thingy-majig holder made out of aluminium brakes when i touch it. Fuck.
Spend rest of day driving around, checking friends junk piles. Nothing, have to order part.
Get shitty aluminium part, and new thingy-majig. Now has spark, doesn't start. Pull all the plugs, to do compression test, the last plugs decides to take the thread with it. Motherfucker... 4 spark plugs, 3 different brands. Who is this cheap?
Have to go buy gasket kit and sparkplugs. Find a cylinder head that only has 62 000km on it at friends. Got it for free, because the timing belt snapped last winter out on the ice.
Tear old cylinder head of, drive home, tear broken cylinder head of, smack on new gasket, drop cylinder head on my fingers. BOOM done.
Check compression, fine. Put in new spark plugs. Crank engine, not even a cough... Lambda light now on.
Swap LMM and Oxygen sensor, had those laying around from old projects. No life, give it starter fluid, starts and dies. What, it had fuel?
Now gives no fuel, must be fuel pump relay (common problem on these) resolder it. No dice, swap in a brand new one, nope.
Crawl under car with a battery and two wires, pump is fine. WHAT
Crawl out, steam pouring from my ears. Get gas can out of my own car, pour 5 liters in, car starts. MOTHERFUCKER
Friend is laughing so hard he falls of his stool...
Never have I felt so much like an idiot...
Why did this give me a serious chuckle
Why do all mechanics use the same awful ballistic reasoning?
>live on 1/4 dirt road
>rural area with average house value ~$60,000
>no covered parking
>buy a $30,000 pitch black car
shekelstein would be proud
Because logic is heavily influenced by the amount of alcoholic beverages one consumes.
Do mind this is only a theory...
Done this before and drove 15 miles.
>Pulled up at home
>What's that smell
>Open bonnet
>fuck.bat
You will regret the way you treated a lamb in the winter of 2015. IgnorAMUS
I got a good one
>lying on the internet
>finished, just need to double check that my lies don't conflict
>start hitting post, shitpost on Veeky Forums a couple minutes
>turn computer off and check phone
>replies everywhere
>fucking EVERYWHERE
>all over the thread, board, side, jay dee em gook moot
>coat of cum on my monitor for two weeks
Never forgot to put my oil cap on again, because when I went out to my car to start it and drive away after lying on the internet, A LAMB CAME DOWN FROM HEAVEN and told me my oil cap was loose.
>car blows head gasket
>Cheap, so don't get it machined, just replace gasket
>Put it all back together
>Surprise, it didn't fix it
>Do it all over again
>Start it up
>Rattles like mad, smokes, and dies
>The fuck?
>Turns over, sounds like no compression
>Fucking forgot to tighten the Cam bolts
>Stripped the locating pins on both cams, scored up both sprockets
>Fuck.
Sounds like a lamb really did come down from heaven to fart on this earth. I'm glad you told us... Sweety
>install differential with more desirable ratio in my car
>forget to check if there's oil in it
>test drive it
>locks up 5 miles down the road
>shame crawl back home at 5mph with the bearings crunching away loudly
Fucking thing barely made a sound too, it only complained in the 5 seconds leading up to the thud of the tires locking up.
this
also
>be using socket wrench
>reach tool into engine bay
>didn't engage socket lock
>socket tumbles into the void
>have to remove air filter box to replace fuel filter
>has an air flow meter
>finish maintenance, install air box
>try to start
>no go, idles then dies, no throttle response at all
>no idea wat do
>look at engine bay
>cannot figure out
>come back next day
>mfw takes 5 minutes to notice and plug in
breaks/rest are best tool
Oh yeah!
>Helping neighbor place rear drum brake shoes
>Put new ones in
>Drum doesn't fit (obviously)
>Screw adjuster in more
>Still doesn't fit
>Screw adjust in all the way
>Still doesn't fit
>Neighbor has great idea
"I'll fucken fix it!"
>Gets belt sander out
>Sands down shoes
>Still doesn't fit
>Continues to sand half his brand news pads away
>Still doesn't fit
......
>Realize we put the adjuster in the wrong (in our defense it fit perfectly in that spot also)
>Put adjust back into the right spot
>Drum fits on with dickloads of clearance
>Put car back together
B-B-B-B-B-BONUS CONTENT
>Heaps of clearance on drum shoes now
>Ask neighbor if he wants to adjust the brakes properly
"Nah they'll adjust themselves" (automatic adjuster)
>He goes for drive
BANG CLANK BONG
>Drives home at 20kmph with Dave Grohl playing sick beats on the drum kit inside his rear wheel
>The adjuster was so loose it fell out and got mangled up inside the drum
"I told you we should have adjusted those brakes!"
It's a good thing he has so many spare Datsun parts.
>doing shit to my 85 S10. Forget what I was doing but it involved removing the battery.
>get all done, put it all back together and go for a ride.
>unbeknownst to me, my dumb ass put the battery in backwards not thinking that the hood sloped downward toward the front (cables were long enough to reach)
>get about a mile up the road
>hit a small bump
>suddenly, gauges go fucking haywire and white smoke starts pouring out from under the hood
>Well fuck me, pull over.
>pop hood
>hood doesn't pop
>concern.jpg
>pull hood latch and lift on hood at the same time.
>hood is apparently bolted shut now, wtf
>go get mini-prybar from behind the seat.
>pop
>THUNK
>hood flys up like it was made of paper mache
>turns out the battery bounced up and welded itself to the hood, #rekt my battery cables in the process
>had to redneck engineer some shit together to get it back home.
>also fried the voltage regulator in the process
And the beauty of the situation
>30$ in parts later and it was just fine.
>Rebuilding brakes
>Decide may as well do the diff oil before I drop it
>Drain oil, grab funnel and diff oil
>Put funnel in hole
>Stare at it
>Keep staring. Something is wrong, user. Keep staring until it jumps out at you
Nigga how the fuck you gonna fill a diff with a funnel and no goddamn tube, monkeyass bitch. I was holding the opened bottle to the funnel and everything.
Do you one better:
>open garage
>open door
>put car in reverse
>car goes no where
>forget hand brake is on
>taking motor mounts off block
>on the very last bolt
>jesus christ this thing is stuck good
>fuck me how is this possible
>put breaker bar on it
>leaning on it good
>feel it start to move
>realize just as it snaps that I was turning it the wrong way
LEFT.
HANDED.
THREADS.
>Practically jumping on this fucking lug nut
>Calm down and spray it with some penetrant, AFT and brakeleen for good measure
>Drag out compressor and impact wrench
>Crank it up
>A little more
>Max PSI
>Shears clean off
SON OF A BITCH
>Next lug is the same
>3rd too
>Notice the 4th has a small L stamped into the head behind some impact damage
Mother goddamn fucker.
>Breaks your breaker bar
>Gets bigger breaker bar
>Breaks
>Gets a 3rd breaker bar
>Feel it come free
>" what the fuck are these? oh my got ALL OF THEM"
>TFW GM
I lost, user
Also I like you
I'm a simple man. Gotta remember to stay humble sometimes.
>try to pull into the last parking space in the entire lot, still open because it's being encroached into by two giant fuckoff suvs.
>Forget for a second that I'm not in my old mini but instead a brand-new civic, less than a week off the lot.
>Scrape bumper against the truck on the right's wheel.
>Giant vertical scratch down to the metal.
Gonna have to put something on this before it starts flaking off, but I'm tight on money right now and don't actually know what I'm doing.
Search ammonyc on YouTube. He is the car paint god. Think he has a video on paint touchup
One time I got wheel locks. I was tightening one on, and it was getting tighter, and tighter, and tighter. Suddenly it got easy, and I thought I stripped the stud. I freaked out for 20 minutes before I realized they were the wrong size and the stud was fine.
Just watched the "Most Common Detailing Mistake" and good god, that Porsche.
god bless larry
>Accidentally read comments
>>HE'S LIKE THE LINUS TECH TIPS OF CARS xDDD
Never tried so hard in my life to not drop this guy because of the vocal viewer base.
>Accidentally read comments
>HE'S LIKE THE LINUS TECH TIPS OF CARS xDDD
I avoid the comments for the exact same reason, but personally I think Larry is a lot more professional with his videos, opposed to Linus.
He also is more mature, and isn't a Redditing memelord
I hate Linus with a passion. He's literally the Pewdiepie of tech videos, which should come to no surprise given that he 'reviews' components just like he did with Tigerdirect and gets paid to do so. He fucks up all the time, too.
I'm going to be doing some single stage painting myself in the next month or two, so this shit interests me and he actually has experience, not just reading from a press release sheet.
>fit new exhaust to moms car
>gotta fucking go just as i finish the last bolt, tell her to try the car out while im gone
>mum calls me later to say the car is smoking alot when she starts it
>banic
>cant find the source of the smoke anywhere, only clue is its somewhere near the exhaust
>end up selling the car
>later find out that all new exhaust parts burn off residue and shit when they're first used
>feel like a total fuckhead
>be riding a 125cc bike
>gutless, no power, have to give it 100% full amount of gas to move anywhere
>jump on 600cc bike
>forget its about 10 times more powerful
>throttle wide open
>it flips over, I fly off, lands on my leg
>luckily I was ok and the bike had crash bars
As a fabricator, I generally make it a very important rule for just this reason (customer confidence) that I give the external product a serious clean, usually 'vodka wash' if it's going on an exhaust system.
Im glad this thread exists. I had my third crash with a company car today, i hit a concrete block on a parking lot while going around a corner. Felt like the biggest idiot in the world. Thanks for letting me know i am not alone.
I'm fairly certain that he isn't paid to endorse products, unlike Linus. Plus he has his own brand, but he doesn't shill it too hard (some of his products are actually pretty good). And like you said, his videos are definitely based off of experience and not just
>lol looks like x, y and z are all new features on [insert tech product here]
>pause
>continues to read off a product detail sheet
>le funny reddit joke
I honestly wouldn't compare the two, and I'd disregard any retards who try to. Keep in mind, most who do are likely younger audience members.
Yeah sorry, sorta ran away with my hate there.
This guy actually knows what he's talking about. Knowing what to do is his job, not reading from a script.
>cleaning scooter carb
>leave the gas tank with barely any gas for a month disconnected
>put the scooter together since I was repairing parts slowly during a month
>surely the gas didn't go bad and the filter will work
>try to start the scooter, the scooter won't start
>take out the carb
>it's full of water
So I had to clean the gas tank, replace the whole gas and clean the carb again. This is how I learned that leaving gas for too long is bad
All good, nothing wrong with voicing your opinion and getting it out there. Wasn't trying to seem like the AMMO defense force either, just didn't want you to be dissuaded from watching his informative videos due to autistic Youtube comments comparing him to an equally autistic sub-par Youtuber
Hope you learn a lot from Larry and your project goes well, cheers dude
I do that shit all the time. I apparently don't get the concept of righty righty lefty loosey. Was replacing the outer tie rods on my shitbox and was struggling with them for HOURS. Then my neighbor came to see what I was doing (he's helpful when I'm doing things, but really nosy) and sarcastically asked if I thought I was turning the right way.
I wasn't obviously
>get OEM sparkplugs fitted
>develop missfire
Bad ones do. Good ones don't.
Same here, but I found it the next day.
>Drop wrench near back of engine
>Look and feel around but can't find it
>Fuck it.
>Finish whatever I was doing.
>Back out of driveway and hear something metal fall out from car
>Freak out wondering what the hell it was
>Look in rear view and see wrench on the ground