Drive around corner slightly faster than normal

>drive around corner slightly faster than normal
>oil pressure light flashes on

>riding on the autobahn, going WOT and near the limiter for quite some time
>red oil warning light comes on

>Hit a speed bump a little faster than usual
>check engine and tpms lights turn on

>take wet corner a little harder as usual
>go straight

>"user, your car is running quite nicely"
>It is :)
>Car immediately shits itself
>CE light appears
>Stall
>Coolant temp sensor ceases to work
>Limp car 20 miles home
>Die inside a little

>Go over speed bump
>sscccrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaapppppeeee

>coolant starts leaking out of the water pump gasket
>stops leaking because black sludge blocks the hole

>remove handbrake
>drive off
>rear wheels stay stuck and don't rotate

put it in reverse and drive backwards, normally means a stone is stuck in it.

>start car
>all warning lights come on