Sell me this pen, Veeky Forums

This is good, instills value in the pen.
You never sell an object, you sell the value that object will bring into someones life.

Real answer, as I see it is,
"What is it that you look for in a pen?"

"Oh, I agree, X is an important feature to have in a pen, I'm sure a lot of people, myself included can agree"

"Is there anything about your current pen that irks or bothers you? Some of my previous clients had a common complaint about their old pens running out of ink in only a few weeks, have you had issues with that as well?

"Yes, Y is an issue with many pens"

"Well, Mr. Faggot, I honestly feel like I can help you in this position, my exclusive line of pens i've designed feature X without the drawback of Y. They come for a low price of 2.99 each in a range of colours, although I'm sure a professional like you is only interested in the black ink variety, and I wouldnt want to waste your time with the others, correct?"

"fantastic, I'll give you this one to hold onto for now, take good care of it. How many of my pens were you looking to acquire?"

This Pen can be mined and used as a digital currency and stored in a paper pocket protector. It was created by mexican genie only known as "carne mano". It is a currency in which 10 gorrillion "pequenos" (the smllest unit of pens) equal one pen. It can be used to purchase certain products or be traded for pig pens so people on a nigerian dirt raking forum can try to lose money which will provide inspiration for the creation of rosado senores memes.

SOLD. and how much for the girl?

Phenomenal post user. You may be one of the few lads on this portugese pen importing forum with any actual knowledge of sales. Well done and kudos to you my friend.

This only works for inbound sales if they have already expressed interest in talking to you about the pen. It's ezmode when they already are at that stage in the buying process. Cold calls and door to door when you have to pitch are hard mode! I guess no parameters were given though lol

This is the new tactical pens that will soon replace Muhreens Crayola, proudly made in America, I know you wanna support our troops

Sold!

My father got this pen from Barack Obama. I don't like the guy, so I'll give it to you for $5.

Unverifiable claim. I'll cheat when I can.