Social Anxiety

I was a pretty quiet dude until I got fed up with a lot of stuff and started taking life more seriously. Something that helped me was joining a student organization in college and forcing myself to talk to people. Hell, within a semester i became vice president of the organization and president in another semester.

To be honest, being the center of attention and being a leader for people drained the ever living fuck out of me. I had to spend time by myself to recharge in a sense. But I think the exposure really helped diminish my social anxiety. IF you arent a student there still should be organizations you can join that arent college related.

As for do psychologists work? I believe thats really up to your personality. Me? I spent most of my life in my head and I have processed most of my problems out already. Its hard for me to take advice from other people about myself because, 90% of the time, ive already thought it through because im probably autistic or something (or probably just arrogant).

here

I still dont actively approach random girls. I can talk to them, make them laugh, etc, but i got no game. So if thats the type of social anxiety you got, i dont know man. Exposure is still probably your best bet.

Group therapy is supposed to help but won't that make me look more mentally ill than I am? Yes

how does cock and ball torture help?

i cant even cold approach chicks without wanting to fuck off immediately, i can barely talk to my bank teller without stumbling over words. when girls mire i just look away like a beta, not sure what to do anymore brahs

Try Aniracetam, had no side effects

Cognitive behavioural therapy

stumbling over words usually means confidence issues and if you dont talk much, it could just be that you are out of practice as well. I've heard good things about speech exercises in the mirror

Fixing confidence is a little harder to do. Try to figure out how to love yourself and what you are capable of. It really depends on the individual and their situation.

reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4b4f0y/people_who_have_good_social_skills_and_used_to_be/?sort=top

>inb4 le reddit

yeah it is confidence, but confidence is usually the root of social anxiety. so what do

user with social anxiety checking in.

1. DON'T ASK FOR DRUGS IF YOU CAN GET CBT OR ANY FORM OF TALKING THERAPY

Meds will fuck your shit up and just cover up any issues. You'll get all hormonal and be one of those reddit fuck heads that posts ironic memes about not taking Meds and being crazy that day.

In theory everyone lifts here for long term results, not to take a pill and cover over issues. Apply the same thinking with this.

2. KEEP A DIARY OF HOW YOU'RE FEELING, AND MAKE A TIME LINE OF WHEN YOU NOTICED ANXIETY INFLUENCING YOU

I found from the time line I started to hate being in any sort of spotlight, even positively, because some people at school started spreading rumours about my personal life, and these would be bought up any time I entered a room ect. Keeping the thought diary gives you things you can think about when you have time and follow those threads to ideas and how you feel about yourself and things around you.

3. IF YOU DO CBT/TALKING THERAPY, YOU NEED TO BE 100% UP FRONT WITH YOUR THERAPIST ABOUT EVERYTHING

If you keep things back they'll not understand issues, think how complex your mind is. They're seeing you a few hours a week tops so they're getting a tiny glimpse. They need all the info they can get to help. Also tell them if you're not meshing with them. I have a great relationship with mine and we get lost following thoughts, definitely has helped.

4. MAKE THREADS ON HERE OR WHEREVER ABOUT IT, TALK TO PEOPLE

its not a bad thing, my girlfriend actually quite likes it as it's a part of my character and we've embraced that sometimes it's a fucking pain when I'm not enjoying something, but I know what I need now and am far happier for it.

thanks bro, im glad to hear that CBT has worked for you. yeah im not planning on taking any drugs, i just want to be strong enough to stand on my own as a man and be able to face these issues as a man

For sure that's the perfect attitude.

There will be days where you feel shitty too but just find your comfortable spot that you go back to if you need.

Have a go at the GAD 7 and PHQ 9 tests and see where you score. Most of the time I'm low on the depression and high on the anxiety but there are some days where I'm high on both.

Also I find lifting helps but more as a thing I do on my own, I go into my own world and don't have to think about much. I usually call bullshit on "lifting takes away anxiety" but that's me.

>tfw all this advice is for people with mild- moderate social anxiety
>tfw realize mine is severe as fuck
>tfw get a full blown panic attack and hide in a corner when someone knocks on the door

I tried going to uni and I almost passed out on the bus before I even got there every day

what is ur definition of a panic attack?

feels like your dying, uncontrollable physical shaking. heart beat through the roof, sense of complete doom

The shaking part is the worst. I cant keep my head or hands still when that happens.

one of my biggest fears is writing in front of people because of it. I literally can't put pen to paper and if I do it looks like a 5 year olds handwriting

I will say however I've started taking 5 htp, l theanine and l tyrosine very recently and they seem to be helping me a lot

I´ve stopped eating, or doing stuff in general around people. Who knows what they are thinking when they see shit like that.

Not really answering OP's Question but this is stuff I wish I could of told myself 5 years ago

1. most of your anxiety will stem from reasons you that wont be immediately obvious

for example, i was the youngest of 7 and never got much attention and only spoke to adults when i was in trouble (not complaining i had good childhood), but this meant i associated attention with 'being in trouble' a common sign for this is children crying when talking to adults. whereas my friend who also was diagnosed with anxiety was the eldest and had to help look after her disabled sister from a young age and basically had to grow up and take care of herself meaning she was independent but also cold and distant.

we all have these reasons and recognising them will help you change for the better

2. Do things that make you uncomfortable

I gave myself challenges that put me out of my comfort zone, like 'try talk to 3 new people today' or 'audition for the play' (accidentally got the part and ended up doing that which was terrifying)

3. Remember that people are not a big deal

I thought my life would be over if I did something embarrassing in front of my friends but then I moved abroad realised the world is massive and you could make friends anywhere these 10 peoples opinions mean nothing in the grand scheme

4. Be open about it

Im not saying tell everyone about your anxiety constantly but if you are having to do something which make you feel nervous tell people you'll probably bond over that more, also a lot more people struggle with this than people realise

5. People like genuine people
People may bond well with people with similar interests but pretending to be 'party animal' when your not will just fuck you over. people will recognise that your bullshitting and don’t like to be brown nosed

6. Quality over quantity
5 good friends > 20 acquaintances > 100 facebook friends

what you have to realize is that therapists and psychologists never cure you, they treat you. Ask your psychologist if hes ever cured anyone of anxiety, he'll tell you no. Its just a matter of whether the treatment is worth it to you. Some people say it helps other people think its all bullshit.
Good luck

I agree with 5 for sure but I'd say just be yourself. Whether I have social anxiety or not, I'm an introverted person. Most of the things I do at their base level are introverted activities (lifting, motorsports photography, pc stuff) but I can be social with them when I want.

For example with the photography, I just go do it on my own, during the week read up on techniques and see where I can improve and try make those improvements at the weekend. I talk to people at circuits I'm photographing at but and instagram photos but I'm not blasting my Facebook with them or looking for compliments, whereas a few friends also tried it but try make it social - bringing lots of people along and then filling their Facebook with it. That's not my bag so I stay away and open up when I'm happy too.

So figure out your Lane, get in it and when you're comfy and set think about opening up.

decent advice for getting started. that shit definitely changed me.

bad idea. weed makes me hate myself and occasionally gives me panic attacks and do shit like tremble like I used to when I was a kid and really anxious.

It's genetics. Genetic destiny.

It sucks, but it's the way it is. Hell, even drugs won't help completely, as their results are temporary.

I mean seriously. You have forums FULL of people researching the best ways to cure anxiety, taking all sorts of medication, using all different techniques and it NEVER helps. I CONSTANTLY see people talking about their anxiety, but I never see anyone who's managed to cure it.

Some people can walk onto a stage and speak to 10,000 people unfazed, others can't even leave their room, let alone their house. It's not like the "confident" group of people did anything in particular to make themselves that way, it's just the way they are. It can't be improved or changed. Genetic destiny.

Oh, snap, meta

Its not about curing its, its about living your life despite having it. Its gonna be with you on the ride forever, but at least you can make that ride worthy so to speak.

>had GAD diagnosed by psychiatrist
>prescribed Lexapro
>took exactly one dose
>worst decision ever
>felt like my head was in a fishbowl full of shit
>stop taking it
>back to normal self in a couple days
>still get situational anxiety from time to time
>parforthecourse.mpg
>months later, annual physical time
>new doctor, tests vitamin D levels
>ridiculously low levels detected
>start 10,000 iu of D3 per day
>one week later feel like a new man
>happy, no anxiety, have fun with friends again

Truth. The only time I ever get anxiety any more is when I smoke or drink too much.

the current body thread helped you? how the fuck does that work.

lol'd

seconding both the retail and RSD thing. and don't expect to ever feel ready. the key is doing shit you don't feel ready to do any just not die. if you have some source of guidance (books, social, mentor, friends etc.) to guide you in a desireable direction you will learn in time.
don't believe any of your doubts.

been there. at this point that was a few years ago but i actually had multiple panic attacks on a bus when i was like 16.
much like training it will take years for you to get good but if THIS isn't worth the effort then nothing is.

Actual best advice

>tfw too old to work retail, and have a full time job
What should I do instead?

you could volunteer somewhere

start by breathing more deeply.

youtube.com/watch?v=XE0T_zUCjPo

Help with a local food shelf or or habitat for humanity.

Feels good man