Anger management

Rage has fueled my workouts for 3 years now. It ain't running out any time soon. Harness it.

Why does that upset you though? Seems like a trivial thing to be bothered by.

I see what you did there.

But seriously, what bugs me is failure. Like, when I'm playing a sport, there's nothing the opponent can do to tick me off, and I don't mind losing to a better player if I put up a solid fight. What grinds my gears to no end are my own failures doing things I know I'm capable of, like missing easy shots in tennis or making blunders in chess.

This attitude has helped me progress in many ways and generally I'm known as a winner at everything I do, but when I do perform poorly and lose as a result I do tend to go apeshit, which I could do without.

So what do you do in those situations? Chimp out in front of everyone?

I've started raging more since I started lifting. For example when I bench using my rack/stand pic related (home gym) I sometimes accidentally put the bench a slight bit off center so that the plates of my bar touches one of the stands a bit in the middle of my set and there's nothing that gets me into an autistic rage like it. My piece of shit poodroid phone is another source of irritation, today it was gonna software update but got itself into a boot-reboot loop and I was 2mm from throwing it into the wall, just bashed the screen and screamed at it instead. Before lifting I never raged like this.

I wouldn't do it when anyone could see it though as I can control myself. But my neighbors probably wonders what the fuck is wrong with me when they hear me unracking and a few seconds later screaming CUNTHEAD or WHORENIGGER (in my language) every other day or so.

>So what do you do in those situations? Chimp out in front of everyone?

Yeah, pretty much. And you should see me in traffic when some idiot does some idiotic thing.

If it's good enough for John McEnroe, it's good enough for you.

Then again, you're not a millionaire tennis player entertaining the entire planet, so...

unless people think of you as an easily triggered maniac i wouldn't bother doing anything about it

I kinda have the same problem op but i havent even begun to work out. This thread is quite helpful actually.

OP here. I'm gonna have a read of this mindfulness book two anons recommended and see if it opens up any ideas for improvement.

>tfw you forget to run headphone wires through shirt

>gets caught around bench/ power rack and unplugged

biggest jimmy rustler for me

Just have an existential crisis and realize literally nothing matters. I do it once a week and only get angry when I'm tired now

While I enjoy my nihilist philosophy, existential writers, suicidal French poets and Saganesque cosmopolitanism, I find it hard to think of the big picture when blood rushes to my head over some bullshit.

>While I enjoy my nihilist philosophy, existential writers, suicidal French poets and Saganesque cosmopolitanism
>being this euphoric

I have the opposite. I almost never get angry but am instead almost completely apathetic to everything. Maybe it sounds nice, like I've reached "peaceful enlightenment", but I know I should get angry at things.
It's annoying, I don't feel like a man who can confront issues.

>mfw enjoying art is now considered autistic

OP I know you said no psychoanalysis.

But you were very defensive to other user who tried to inquire as to what the root cause of this anger might be. Also starting a thread about uncontrolled rage and then restricting it to ONLY TELL ME SOLUTIONS, FUCK OFF IF YOU DONT DO EXACTLY THAT, really implies that you know what you need to do, but don't want to.

Seriously, the solution is finding the root cause. No amount of meditation or deep breathing will eliminate the trigger response. It will help you manage it, but it won't extinguish it until you sort that shit out.

Disassociation? Did it ever hurt too much to care? When that happens, especially in childhood, some people disassociate and stop feeling. Or depression?

>Disassociation? Did it ever hurt too much to care?
Not that I know of, but I've been emotionally repressed for almost as long as I remember. I remember in kindergarten I was a normal kid, running around, having fun and being loud, so I wasn't like this from birth.

>depression?
Maybe, but it just seems like an easy out so I don't want to self diagnose.

bump i had this issue since high school
> tfw people look at you like an animal
> tfw girl you love crys at the sight of your rage even if you didnt do anything to her
> fuck

i usually am a person that doesn't get mad all that much because it's not that serious, people cutting me off i just would be happy i was prepared for it or something related to that.
generally when i need things to be tight like i wanna follow a schedule on a busy day i get madder easier since i'm more in a rush, kinda relates too to lack of sleep.
i'd say kinda clean up your schedule a bit, prepare for it, i think anger might stem from not starting your day off right, maybe get a new mattress. It's usually hard to get me mad, but when I do, it's when those types of things happen to me.

Im a clinical trauma specialist, and I can tell you that even people who go through horrific abuse can recall their childhood as good. And that's not say that you were abused as a childhood and don't realize it, but this type of emotional detachment/disassociation is a sign that at some point, your mind or body felt unsafe.

Or you were born with a mental illness and this is just a brain disease, that could be corrected with therapy, meds, or both.

Do you ever have trouble sleeping?

that is called depression user and i have found there is no solution but medical help. there are masks and medicines to hide it but the real answer is its just like lifting. you gotta dig down and fix that shit

not him but I may have this problem. I used to have anger issues that caused myself and the people around me a lot of pain. I've experienced a lot of death in my extended family and my mom has had cancer twice.
now i don't have anger issues but I can't seem to get excited about anything anymore. I can't remember the last time I was excited about anything other than my lifts.

I think this is me

ASD or whatever

I'm sorry, user. That sounds very difficult. It is hard to properly process grief or a parent (possibly) dying, or other emotional events to begin with. It is a process that takes time. And when you aren't given the proper time and resources (unconditional love, support, basic needs are met, sense of safety) you may be unable to fully deal with the pain you are experiencing.

Spend time with yourself, no distractions for at least an hour. See what comes up. If anything makes you feel uncomfortable, sit with the discomfort. It's okay to not be okay sometimes.

My childhood was normal. Not amazing, not terrible. I just used the kindergarten as an example that I wasn't born with some illness. I think it's just because I grew up with parents who didn't express any real emotion or teach me anything, and I spent too much time playing video games instead of developing socially along my peers. Instead of trying to "join them" I just stayed in my safe zone instead. I think it's just carried over all the way into adulthood because I haven't developed much since. I've only recently started making eye contact with people.
I have no trouble sleeping, especially since I started lifting. I'm usually out in 5 minutes.

So boohoo dad didn't love me I guess.

I usually scream into my pillow after a difficult day
I also listen to metalcore
If I'm close to an incident around people I close my eyes and just focus on my breathing
If that doesn't work I just walk away
Also if I'm in a situation where I can't really walk away but can't control myself I just start laughing, it's creepy but it helps

...

Lots of minimization in your post, user.

There are things children need. And some of those things are healthy love, healthy affection, healthy boundaries, and healthy consequences. When children don't get those things, it can stifle emotional and social development.

Children also need their parents to be examples for them, before they get older and bigger and venture out into the world as independent beings.

You say NBD just minor probs like my parents were ice cold. And that's just what you are willing to say, but it's telling that you identified this yourself.

Don't try to measure your pain in the same way that you measure the root problem. Your issues are real and come from somewhere, so even if your parents are nbd, this may actual be a big deal to you, or young you. Even if it doesn't feel that way yet.

If you are disassociating, you won't feel attached to your true feelings,

Go back and look at how many times you say "it's just"

Or "I just"

When I'm angry or upset I think about cosmology, and how small our planet is in the galaxy, let alone the universe. Then everything seems sufficiently meaningless to not get worked up about.

i joined a muay thai gym where once a week theres 5 rounds of hard sparring for everybody

after that the whole rest of the week feels as if the volume had turned down anger-wise

It was hard to fight in the beginning, because like op i normally just raged at trivial shit that triggered me and i wouldnt do it willingly

but with time i learned to focus all my anger on friday afternoon where i give it all to knock motherfuckers out

Maybe I only want to manage it?

It's called little bitch syndrome, and you feel entitled for things to go your way. Once you realize nobody owes you shit and the world will constantly shit in your mouth, you can accept it and move on.

No, but seriously, I literally titled the thread 'anger management'. I don't want to be psychoanalyzed over the internet; there is no memory of a time when I didn't have a short fuse, there is no childhood trauma, there is no specific trigger, there is nothing laymen could diagnose over the internet.

The closest you could come to a diagnose is 'this guy is a sore loser'. Fine, I accept that. I'm 29 years old and that has never changed, so I don't expect it to change now through some sudden revelation. I'm looking for anger management, not anger amputation, and certainly not numbing medication.

>and you feel entitled for things to go your wa

Neh, I just haven't had enough practice at losing to come to terms with it, like you apparently have. The world doesn't shit in your mouth, the world gives you a virtually infinite array of amazing opportunities, and I have never in my life raged about some life-changing event or something requiring hard work - only trivial, menial nonsense.

Directable anger. Rralise that breaking shit or losing it won't help the situation, hold it back, and use it for something else later.

For me, it's boxing. I know for every punch i throw in anger, it will be sloppy and easily countered. But if i wait for an opening, and throw a punch USING anger, it connects and won't be countered, and will be a flush, technical hit.

Tldr; control it, dont let it control you. No situation is made better by anger

Also, you seem like a prick and i don't know why I'm helping you, you self centred fuckwit.