Mental Veeky Forumsness

Social anxiety.

There is things that i have put off until the next day for years. I've been saying "I'll do it tomorrow" for years. Literally. This shit erodes all self confidence. Those things are of course everyday life things that involves people. I have no life. And every day I don't do anything to get better i get more angry at my self.

Are you me?

yep :(

Learn to not trust your brain. Understand your disorder. Develop an ability to understand when your bipolar is talking, and then get help because that means your mental illness is not properly managed.

You got this Bruh.

Manic-depressive bipolar.
I would be talkative and all over the place to the point that I would irritate myself, or horribly, horribly depressed with suicidal thoughts.
Taking risperdal for about a few months now. People are treating me differently at work now.
"user, you're not so much fun anymore. What's wrong, user? What happened to all your butt and dick jokes, user?"
I don't really know how to feel about it, because I honestly feel okay most days. Starting to realize that 'work friends' aren't really friends anymore.

:)

It's Isley tho

I'm pretty sure I'm not mentally ill. It's just that... Fuck it.

I have severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
I've used tons of meds most of them were useless pills with fancy side effects.
Benzos are cool but they don't really fix the problem just mask it as long as you keep taking them.
Right now I'm on Effexor and Remeron.
Effexor doesn't do shit but I still take it because hurr durr withdrawals
Remeron is pretty good though it's the only thing that allows me to sleep.
Lifting makes me feel better. It's only a short term relief though.
I gave up looking for a fix. I wouldn't commit suicide though since I don't know wtf is waiting for me when I die. It could be worse

Major Depression Disorder, Bipolar Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder.

My life is literally fucked and it's really only my fault. I don't do anything. I miss class, lay in my bed and sulk. I hate being around people but I absolutely hate being alone. I want to at least be alone with someone. I'm not an ugly little faggot, I'm not weak (albeit I'm not extremely natty either), and I have stuff going for me physically but my personality and mentality are complete shit. I can't focus on anything, I have no motivation or ambitions. I think about suicide more times per day than I can fucking count. I use it as a response for everything. "Whoops, I stumbled and nearly tripped going up the stairs to my dorm, better fucking kill myself." You know?

Life just sucks. I'm depressed as shit, I can't stand being in public most of the time and it all makes me an insomniac. I can't sleep for more than an hour or two a night and it destroys me during the day. I've dealt with this shit for years and it's ruined every chance at a relationship I've ever had. All of my exes have cheated on me. Everyone I've ever gotten close to has spread rumors around campus and told their friends (and mine) that I'm a fucking crazy psycho.

I'm literally at the end of the road, and the only option left is to just jump off the edge of the cliff. I've already burnt every fucking bridge I've come across to get to this point.

Talk to a shrink user, dammit. Seriously, if bipolar is what's affecting you it's a bitch and you need professional support. Talk to a doc.

>Taking risperdal for about a few months now
I took that for about two months. I wasnt doing great before it and only because of the sexual side effects i came off but now i have serious depersonalisation and the sexual side effects never went away so i have zero desire to ever have sex again and the thought of doing it makes me extremely angry.

>risperdal
That shit gave me man boobs be careful

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT Veeky Forums, WHY ARE WOMEN SUCH INSUFFERABLE CUNTS?
>be really good friends with this girl (7,5/10 with an amazing ass if that's of any relevance) for a few years now
>tell each other pretty much everything, secrets that we wouldn't share with anyone else
>she was at my place earlier today
>talking and what not, suddenly the subject turns to love life
>"so user, any girls in your life"
>decide that this is a good a time as any and played it relatively cool
>"well actually, I've liked you for some time now, but since I assumed that the feeling wasn't mutual I never told you about it"
>ShitDidIJustSayThat.jpg
>oh user, but you know we're just friends, best friends, I trust you better than anyone else bla bla bla" can't really recall the whole thing, but basically she blew me off in what she believes was a gentle manner, if that's even possible
>ask her to give me a good reason why we wouldn't make a great couple
>"the thing is, I like this other guy.." after that I kinda stopped listening
>was torn, and speechless for about a minute while she tried to cheer me up
>decide to play one last card
>"allright, but I gotta try one last thing"
>MoveInForTheKiss.webm
>TacticalDodge.gif, she turned her cheek away
>"No user, it just wouldn't be right"
>after that I decided to just play it cool since that way she wouldn't nag me in vain to cheer up and be worked up over me
The thing that I just can't comprehend is why can't she see that we would be great for each other, the level of mutual trust and care that we shared is few and far between. to add insult to injury, she dated a fat fuck and slept with a mutual friend who both of us now agree we can't stand, so I basically feel like I am at the bottom of the food chain.
I would get it if I was ugly but I'm not and I've been so fucking pissed off since and don't know who I should be angry at, me for allowing myself to fall so hard for a girl again, or her for being such a selfcentred cunt.

i usually don't post stories like this but I've been real fucked up lately. i'm bad at greentexting and its a long one but I want my story to be seen

>at about 14 i start drifting slowly into depression
>have brother 2 years older
>come from lower-middle class family
>typical brother fighting when younger but hes always looked out for me
>brother graduates high school, has plenty of great friends, gets full ride to USC for civil engineering
>constantly compare myself to him, ask myself why I'm such a fuck up when we came from the same situation and hes doing great
>I graduate high school, severe social anxiety and depression, play video games literally 14 hours a day and sleep
>feel like shit every day but don't want to change it because i think so little of myself
>every time my brother comes back home (TX) from california the first thing he does is something with me, usually go out to eat together
>always tries to get me to go out and do stuff with other people, i never will and go back into my room and play video games
>hate parents, hate life, i was a miserable shell of a person
>i have literally a single friend
>age 20, my parents try everything to get me to do something, eventually kick me out of the house
>go live on only friend's couch
>hes the typical rave obsessed druggie, has a lot of similar friends
>need money to pay rent, start selling drugs to his degenerate friends, mostly weed
>during this time i'm too ashamed to see my brother because of what i've become
>ignore his calls
>continue this for 1.5 years, he graduates college and gets a job as a field engineer for an oil & gas company
>about a month after he starts this job, at the age of 22 i get arrested on four felony charges for selling
>get out on bond, can't afford lawyer so i have to use a public defender which means i'm fucked
>two weeks after i get arrested, hear pounding on the front door
>freak the fuck out thinking my dealer is going to stab me to make sure i don't rat him out

cont.

I feel you bro, I've been there with that knee-jerk suicidal thought.

What happened to me is one day I flipped the script. Something little happened, like I was having a shit day and work, and I just thought, "Well, when I die I won't have to worry about this anymore."

It's all about shifting your perspective from the past or the future to the present moment. Death is hanging round, mang. Morbidly, it's the only thing that loyally waits for everyone. No sense in using it as an excuse, or running towards it's embrace.

Instead, follow your journey to get there.

And if you haven't had a chance to really work out those subconscious knots, try to find a professional to talk to. That's a challenge in itself, some of 'em are right shit. But it really can help to think out loud, so to speak.

If you treat women like a friend you will get put into the friendzone.

>my brother kicks down my door and literally drags me by my shirt to his car
>physically throws me into the passengers seat
>drives to his apartment, drags me by my shirt into his apartment
>chews me the fuck out for the stupid shit i did
>in that moment all i'm picturing is going back home and shooting myself in the head
>once hes done yelling at me, he kicks into big bro mode
>tells me he already called and paid a lawyer ($3000) to handle my case
>tells me he wants to help me every step of the way to make sure i don't have my life permanently ruined
>i'm in absolute disbelief that he did this after i ignored him for an entire year and a half
>i can barely speak
>he hugs me and makes me promise to him that i'll make a change for him
>we drive back in silence
>when he drops me off he tells me he loves me and that things will work out
>get out of car and he drives off. i stand there for what feels like forever
>something inside of me clicked that day
>go inside, without a word i pack everything i own into my car and drive to my parents house
>live there for the next month while me and my brother try to work through my court case
>eventually i get a plea bargain of 1 year drug court, 4 years total of probation along with being able to expunge this entire ordeal from my record
>my brother covers literally every cost involved (court fees, lawyers, drug court fines, probation fees etc) totaled to roughly $7000
>tells me to just pay me back when I can
>start drug court, work my first job at age 22 (retail)
>hang out with brother a lot, lift together, start going to bars and parties for the first time in my life, meeting good friends
>decide I want to go back to school
>apply and somehow get accepted into the University of Houston
>live with parents and work my retail job for a year while I get through a year of school
>brother is very supportive of me and makes sure I stay on my path

cont.

>constantly get shit from old degenerate friends i used to sell with trying to get me back
>finish drug court after my first year with no fuck ups
>just on probation now, still attending school and working
>decide i want to get away from my degenerate friends and transfer schools
>transferred to school about 7 hours away in smaller college town
>transfer my probation as well
>decide I want to go for computer engineering

only 1 more post
cont.

>says she's not interested
> kiss her anyway
>WOMEN ARE CUNTS
:^)
But seriously ignore her for a while. She'll miss the emotional validation and come crawling back

i'll shorten this entire section since this is so long

>rent is cheap but i still have to work 30 hours a week to afford living
>work harder than i ever thought i could for 3 years, 30 hours working and 16+ hours per semester of engineering work
>finish probation in less than half the time on good behavior, get it expunged from my record
>make a lot of friends, constantly doing social things, i'm a completely different person from that day my brother kicked my door in
>finally going to graduate with an engineering degree this coming may at age 26
>get an amazing job doing software development for a large company in austin, TX
>my brother texts me from an oil rig hes working on in west texas
>"i want you to know how proud i am of you for how far you've come. i knew you had it in you all along"
>start tearing up, call him and start crying, we talk for about an hour
>he tells me that when he settles down and stop doing field work hes going to look for a job in austin so we can see each other more
>hang up the phone, that day is probably the happiest i've ever felt

two days later while driving back to houston, he was hit head on by an 18 wheeler on I-10. this was two and a half weeks ago

I don't know what I did to deserve such an unconditional love and such an amazing brother. I'm really struggling to maintain focus through my pain. I'm trying so hard to carry on without him because I know that's what he would want but its so fucking hard. I'll never get to pay him back for what he did for me

his funeral was last weekend and I miss him so much. I'm going to graduate for him, and I'm going to live my life as if he were watching me. i'm going to make him proud of his little brother

Why lifting attracts mentally fucked up people?

Find another women, the only thing women hate is, when a other women steals their orbiter.

>have two good female friends
>thiccc freaky blonde and skinny big butt bi Cuban
>both have offered to fuck me
>they know I have gf
>"ugh user you're so loyal I love you''
I'm being trolled aren't i

Meh I doubt it tbqh, I've been in this exact same position a couple of times, tell a girl how I feel, she blows me off, I'm just done with all of this shit, but yea I will definitely distance myself from her at least for a while

Fuck dude your story is so sad. You had the best bro a man could wish for. Just try to be the man he would be proud to call his brother. Don't fuck up, he might be watching you from above

"brohug"

Hang in there buddy.

No pussy distance shit. Women love the emotional validation of relationships without the ~icky sex~. She'll offer it up to keep you on the hook. Pump and dump brah
>she'll post some passive aggressive social media shit about how guys only want sex
>implying she doesn't want a white knight to save her

Damn user, my sincerest condolences, but just keep going and keep his memory alive, dedicate yourself to making yourself into someone he would be proud of
I'm probably not as emotionally strong as you and would've broken down several times by now, you're gonna make it brah

You can do it man. Keep going and lift for your bro

I can't help but think you're a pussy.

Speak with your family about his death, not us, who are complete strangers and cannot give your brother's life any real respect.

Feel better, faggot.

Gonna save this thread for tomorrow when i wake up for motivation. I have it bad but it could be a lot worse.

Anyone have success stories?

fuck you his story is heart touching and inspiring fuck you

Are you actually retarded, or just plain stupid? God I hope this is b8
Death in a family is no laughing matter, let alone the death of a brother who literally saved his life
He probably did speak to his family about it, but it's still not something you forget over night

thanks friends. i will
I've had multiple break downs and anxiety attacks, i didn't go to class or work for a week after it happened. my professors were understanding and let me make up the work i missed. i still struggle most nights, especially when i look at his last texts, pic related.
i'm going to pull through this because i know that's what he would want
why would you assume i haven't spoken to my family about this?

Damn life user.

Your brother was very kind to you, I would like to have someone who helped me like that.

;-(

Well, this is now officially a feels thread

>said I was going to start working out again two weeks ago
>failed to start each week
>"oh dear now I have to wait until next monday to even think of starting"

Kill me familia.
If I don't get Veeky Forums then I can't get Veeky Forums

Oh yeah my conditions
Depression, sperglord syndrome

I used to take Risperdal for a while when I was trying alternatives to Ritalin.
Switched to the liquid version and accidentally took too much. Knocked me out for 16 hours

I have major depression
Would cut my legs up like a faggot and couldn't sleep.

Meds helped me live day to day, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helped me kick the disorder for the most part.

Had depression since I was young, progressed to anxiety and alcohol abuse.

Started taking anti-depressants [lexapro] a few months ago and I feel completely better but still like myself.

Give it a shot, but also try to change your environment and be some place/do something you like.

Bipolar here. I've been on both sides of the pendulum. My mania kicks in in the spring and I'd be depressed once it started getting cold again. Then one year I went so manic that I ended up in a hospital. Holy shit, the way I acted.

After that episode I was diagnosed and medicated. I went on lithium lamotrigine and latuda.

Now I'm ok I guess.

Chronic depression diagnosed when I was still a kid
spent most of my teenage years in the asylum while meds fucked me up. Felt numb, didn't care about my future and gained ~30kgs in just a couple of months
the turning point was when health insurance decided not to pay for my therapy anymore
my therapist told me she'd do it for free but in return I had to go to the mental hospital once again what I absolutely didn't want
two choices:
>die an hero
>fuck everything and do it on my own
Glad I didn't off myself. Don't know where the sudden strength came from but I'm fine nowadays. Went from emo crybaby to narcistic asshole so I think I did good

Holy fuck user I hope you and your family get through this well, he sounds like a stand up guy and he is probably watching you from heaven, just keep his memory alive and don't fall into anything bad, you can do it user I believe in you.

fuck dude, i was thinking "please don't die, please don't die" every time you mentionned the brother. i'm in the opposite situation. I'm the oldest brother, two younger sisters who look up to me. I dropped out of college and became an alcoholic neet, went through a really tough spot and managed to sober up even though I relapse for a night every now and then. I'm finishing my freshman year again at 21 and I hope I can get my life back the way you did, thanks for the inspiration and all my condolences for your bro

fuck off, we're his autistic anonymous friends, that's basically family

mental illnesses (the common/overdiagnosed ones) are for the most part poorly treated.

you feel blue so you go to a doctor, they put you on some SSRI (prozac, escitalopram etc.) if it's depression/anxiety and send you to a psychologist for therapy and the GP organises a psychiatrist as well. [atleast this is the most common scenario].

I was going to write the problems with this but that would require a book so heres some statistics demonstrating why this is a bad model (i will provide sources if anyone reads this).

1) medication + therapy/medication on it's own/therapy on it's own ARE ALL EQUALLY EFFECTIVE.

2) therapy does not necessarily work. comparison between types of therapies provide similar improvements, and some of those therapies seriously lack any theoretical underpinning, which means that THE IMPROVEMENT COMES FROM THE THERAPIST, NOT THE THERAPY (ie. someone listening to your shit and feeling empathy towards is what causes the improvement, not some weird ass therapy which makes no sense.

3) only symptoms are treated (poorly), not the cause, so you'll always have the problem it just wont be as bad if it's well treated. again, here i am talking about the more common disorders (depression/anxiety) not personality disorders etc.

4) to get better is ridiculously simple but difficult. just apply how you lift weights to everyday life. ie. small increments everyday. that's how you make improvement. self help books make you feel good when you read them, but it's almost all useless information that you never apply.

SO START APPLYING IT RIGHT NOW. if you do not do this you will continue to post suicide threads on /b/.

if you want to meditate for 20 minutes a day, start today and 10 seconds. tomorrow do 20 seconds etc.

all the knowledge in the world will not help your mental illness.

i've been hospitalised 4 times, 2 suicide attempts, diagnosed MDD, social anxiety, PTSD and i dont take meds/see a doctor anymore so thats my advice

I have gender dysphoria but i'm trying to cure myself. I try to assure myself that I can be ok being a man and get sick gains and all that but I can't seem to stop wanting to be feminine and feeling scared about testosterone fucking my shit up.

As for medication, I was on hormones but it didn't really help in the end, now I am back on testosterone but that seems to make it worse.

I-if I just lift enough it will go away right???

A summary of every mental health thread on Veeky Forums:

>I have severe mental health issues that I refuse to properly address. Why is my life so shitty?
>I love you, user! Not because I know you or actually care for you. It's just that you said you wished you were dead and that made ME feel bad.
>Just suck it up you fucking pansy
>I'm socially inept, have substandard heigene, and rely on offputting habits to manage my anxiety. Why are all women bitches?
>I really want a specific thing but getting it is so darn hard!

You sorry fucks need to go out and do something instead of baiting enablers in this sad echo chamber. Join a support group, see a therapist, get on medication, volunteer, and/or just do something. Pick a direction, move forward, evaluate, and alter directions if need be

Remember: Make your nest above the void. Make your own meaning. Become the ubermensch. Conquer thyself.

youtube.com/watch?v=KCLtP7JMwpU

He gave his life to save yours. Do not waste his sacrifice

...

Lifting is as much avoidance as nofap. The problem is you're a broken person. Probably because you grew up with no male role model, were raised by a TV and indoctrinated into white guilt and feminism.

You'll never "make it" until you realise you're not special, you're not useless, you're exactly as shitty as everyone else and no one is judging you because no one gives a fuck.

Headspace. Also, i think the discipline from controlling your diet successfully and going to the gym ever day help a lot.