Crossfit hate thread

Suicidal,in a trance a religious army
Lift without form and chug on shakes
Call it fitness call it gainz
Authorized by tumblr
Become wounded as you fail and call it a successful lift

w2c that 9gag wristband?

It's their logo

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I don't get it. Wasn't crossfit created by Mark Riptoe? Why are they using such retarded techniques, surely Rip knows this shit doesn't work.
Someone explain

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>happymerchant.jpg

serious question.

every video i see. Someone almost gets a potentially serious life changing, verge of paraplegic injury. Is anybody getting sued? Do they need to sign a disclaimer agreement?

why don't they just use styrofoam. Did they actually spend money to design and build 100 crossfit metal death trap vertical jump bars?

Made me sperg

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that webm is brutal

This is the largest amount of group retardation I've seen in a while beside Veeky Forums

Are... Are they trying to do a push up?

What a nightmare. I'd feel more sorry for them if they weren't so stupid

those are a form of burpee/skiier jump mix

my sides....

The injury rate with crossfit is so fucking high

There's a girl at my gym who does these.

Rip left when it became the shithole it is now, look it up.

saw that coming a mile away

I fucking lost it

Rip says that before beginning Crossfit you need a squat of at least 300 lbs for reps, he never intended it to be the shitshow that it is today

Crossfit says the before beginning Crossfit all you need to do is hold a 3lb PVC pipe over your head. They charge you $150 to teach you how to do this. Then the next day they've got you trying to get your bodyweight on a metal bar over your head. I can't believe nobody has had their head crushed to pulp yet.

youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ

ultimate kek

Candito failed a drug test lads, he's out for good

sauce?

Who said that>

they make you sign a waiver

In what song should I place these wonderful lyrics?

There's a faggot in my gym who does this and hogs the free weight area.

youtube.com/watch?v=viQnHOXyqEg

What is it?

I can't view webm on iPhone

>how to paralyze your son

that hwy he hasn't uploaded shit in a long time?

yes

>i did 560 lb deadlift earlier
lmao this dude's so full of his shit, even his wife doesn't want him anymore, just look at her face.

it's like a family doing two shitty ass cleans, then a clean press, then like doing burpess and jumping over the bar to do another burpee

lol white people are dumbass for liking this crossfit shit

brilliant i just shit my pants laughing

it's a sprawl dude.

Get the VLC app fellow pleb

Puts holes in the walls with dumb bells and gets kicked out. Comes back and gets multiple people fired. Fucking crossfit.

Yea you're gonna have to post some sauce for claims like that

So why does Veeky Forumshate crossfire? Is it jealousy?

this video always pisses me off. what a fucking tool.

if it were track and field training they would be doing proper hurdle form. just look up how to hurdle because thats not how to do it.

I guess that's one way to fuck up your tailbone

Thanks friend

And iPhone is the superior choice so don't discount yourself as a pleb

I'm not seeing the difference in the 2 x-rays. What exactly is broken?

The girl in the yellow has decent clean form. Too bad she's retarded and doing it for a cardio workout.

I'm disturbed by the response of "lol, I broke my spine carrying 300lb..."

300lb where? And like how? I've dead lifted 365lb recently (max was 450lb when I was younger). I can't squat 315lb but I can at least hold it.

What exactly are these people doing??

OK, serious question. People like this obviously have nigger-tier IQ. How can they afford such expensive shit like crossfit?

Judging by the name, I'm guessing the guy is a strongman competitor. There's a world of difference between putting a 315 bar on your back versus picking up a 300lb atlas stone or some 300lb implement in a loading race.

She's a crossfit "coach"

>knees

How to prevent this?

I'D RATHER WATCH SHITTY GORE WEBMS THAN THIS SHIT, FUCK MAN

they appear broken in both xrays, the transverse process of the vertebrae, very dim. the piece going off to the side

It absolutely baffles me that a grown ass man could have is head this far up his own ass. I honestly didn't think people were capable of even intentionally being this insufferable. Just that shit eating tone he has when talking about getting people fired, or talking about the other people in the gym "not being as enlightened as him". The best part is that when people clearly mock him, he's so fucking delusional that he thinks it's admiration. Fuck this makes me so mad. I swear to god I could be the strongest man in the world and I would never so much as think to be as pretentious and arrogant as this man child.

JUST KEEP THEM OUT? drop it if you cant

Why.jpeg

How long has cross fit been around for? You think by now they would've been able to start churning out good coaches or something.

Everyone's form breaks down when they work at their max or go for a new one

Knee valgus also isn't dangerous although it looks really bad

Strong glutes. The knees going in like that transfers the load from the glutes to the quads.

>knees caving in to the point where they touch is okay
>it's alright your form breaks down on max sets

lolno, shoo shoo crossfit

Thanks. I squat as deep as possible so it probably shouldn't happen to me

Tight core and tight ass.

This is some Mario party tier shit

This post was beautifully written. I don't know if you're a lit major or not but I greatly enjoyed reading this post.
>Knee valgus also isn't dangerous
You really shouldn't be giving advice

Yeah but not like that. Think of the paper clip. Sure you can bend it straight and back into its original shape. And this will go on and one. But eventually...

Snap.

Guy on the left, ouch my back.

Was literally hearing that song in my head while watching the video.

It's amazing how you and I thought of the same exact song. I just didn't know what it was called.

I'll tell you how. They are upper middle class white people. Let's get a bit of a profile:
>went to a more than decent university
>majored in something broad like finance or business
>easy to pass, easy to get jobs afterwards
>coasted through on Bs and Cs
>never learned any real critical thinking
>never learned any creative or innovation skills
>got a generic job in some kind of marketing or business
>made good money from it, need something to do with it
>turn to crossfit when they want to seem better than their yoga and spin friends

The mistake you make here is thinking that having money means that you are smart. The only time it's really the case is with doctors or engineers.

my favorite part is that the guy in the background keeps curling slowly while he watches in curiosity

kek, I'm a biology major, but I am glad you enjoyed.

Sad story bro

Don't! Get! Eliminated!

youtube.com/watch?v=0U212OsEs6I

LMAO

They're not even using a specified technique, and none of the coaches care. Traditional hurdles jump, scissors kick, squat-style front jump, whatever you can come up with on the fly, and they crash hard. Shouldn't they be taught the single best technique and the focus on developing it?

And the hurdles are all the size size, despite the fact that some of the women are 5'2". They don't stand a chance and yet they are induced "compete" with a 100% chance of failure and risk of injury. Shouldn't they be of adjustable height to reflect the very real differences of ability of the participants?

And how many people actually clear these hurdles with relative ease? If 90% of the attempts by 90% of the participants results in failure, then how is this a sporting competition?

None of this makes sense to me. Someone please explain this shit to me!

>Did bodybuilding stuff, it got me nowhere
Because you don't fucking know what you're doing. That's why you're doing crossfit know.

Darwin wins again

>those pl8s
>those push ups

Holy christ.

vice.com/en_uk/read/i-said-yes-to-everything-for-a-week-876

She tilts and locks her pelvis. Twice.

>specified technique

you can't develop technique for completely random events really. I think that's the point of crossfit, random shit and see who's the best "athlete"

>And the hurdles are all the size size

it's a ladder, the hurdles go up higher each time and you end up with what you can clear, and you get points based on that like they have clean/snatch ladders

you see them fail of course because they're testing their limits

i dont defend or even like crossfit but that's how they make it work as a comp

In theory that was the point. In practice, 90% of the stuff is predictable to an extent.

so let's see you predict what they are gonna have in the next comp

these are not even main events in crossfit, just a local whatever meet from the looks of it and they can add in whatever the fuck they want

they can have you swim on land as an event, lets see you predict that shit