Sup Veeky Forums I've got 3$. What's the cheapest most calorie dense food I can buy?

Regular thing, I have 30 dollars left after rent and utilities each month which doesn't go far in canada because foods expensive. Even mr noodles are like 1.20$

Peanut butter

They don't have any honey packets sitting out in the mcdonalds by my place

This

Get a jar of mayo and eat it

Buy some oil and drink it. Or eat mayonnaise.

you've gotta be wealthy as fuck to live in canada or else you're gonna have a shitty life there

Pretty much man they should raise the minimum wage to 25 dollars an hour here because everything is way too expensive

>tfw I couldnt afford heat this winter for my place and got hypothermia

That would have been me but thankfully the heats covered in my rent here

please be sarcasm

If you knew the price of living here you'd know that you need at least 25 an hour just to live somewhat comfortable

>tfw make 19.50$ and work 45 hours a week and still can't eat healthy and properly here

I've been eating potatoes and peanut butter sandwiches for months. Thank god for multivitamins

U wot? I make 11.75 per hour and work 30 hours a week and I'm fine financially, I can pay for rent and food in one 2 weeks paycheck and the rest is money to splurge with and party

This

I dont know wtf that guy spends his money on but I pay rent and my groceries easily off 1 paycheck and I only make 12$ an hour

Do you even economics?

No but I know poverty at 19.50 an hour m8

Raising the minimum wage will decrease employment and raise prices. Work harder and spend less

mc gangbang at mc dicks. Mc double with a junior chicken in it

>2016
>still doesn't get that minimum wage is just an arbitrary number, and that inflation will effectively negate any effect of raising it

This question might be better asked in tumblr m8, Ask them how do they are capable of permabulk with no wage or minimum wage.

Rent and grocery off less than $400? Do you live in a shack?

Cheapest studio app are $800 here in Philly suburbs.

Can you buy rice on amazon? How much are eggs.

I live in the states and if I had 30$ a month I would buy discount meat, potatoes (I can get a lb for $1), frozen veggies, milk, pb, and a cheap multivitamin.

Are you eligible for assistance? I'm feelin kinda bad for you bruh.

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Where do you live? $1.20 for mr noodles is outrageous, are you in a fly in fly out NWT outpost?

if you don't give a shit about macros then rice is very good.

No, that sounds about right. Where are you such that Mr. Noodles is less than $1.20?

>underrated

What the fuck? You can get potatoes at $1 per pound? Here if you were to buy discount eggs, milk, frozen veggies and a pack of meat you're paying $30 right there. My entire budget is spent on food.

Cheese

You the same canuck who was complaining on /pol/?

This is why you are poor.
Because you are an idiot and don't know anything about money or economics.

You're retarded. I lived comfortably in Victoria on $14.50 an hour. I wasn't saving any money, but I wasn't hard done by and could afford to go out occasionally. You need to take a good look at your expenses.

you should be the president of zimbabwe

Some grocery store butchers have fat trimmings they give away for free. Make tallow for calories on the go.

If not that, get a gallon of vegetable oil.

Your own semen is free.

However, you might run out of supply before you hit your calories for the day. It's suggested that you go to a local gay sex club and advertise yourself as a cum dumpster- instruct the dozens of ugly middle aged men to not spill a drop of your RDA of %cum.

Bag of lentils or black beans from Walmart is 3.50 it's got dat protons and dat cals

I bought 20 mr noodles for $12, they were on sale 5 for 3 bucks this was on vancouver island. Regular price is 79 cents I think

I seriously hope you aren't spending your money on premade foods. Of course you're poor. But this is a personal finance issue, not a dietary issue.

Step one is moving somewhere cheaper. If you have an apartment to yourself, get a roommate, if you already have a roommate, get another. If you live close to the city center, weigh the cost of moving farther away and commuting.

Step two is going to be reducing all of your other costs. Check absolutely everything you can cut. Cut your cable, use minimum internet, stop buying random shit you don't need.

Step three, AFTER YOU HAVE ALREADY MINIMIZED SPENDING ON HOUSING AND NECESSARY PAYMENTS, is to worry about food. Rice is cheap as shit, rice makers are cheap as shit, and you can combine it with a bunch of other cheap shit. How do you think Asia thrives despite being so poor? After rice, the few veggies and meats you need will be cheap. Stop buying anything liquid (except maybe milk), drink tap water and thank god you live in a real country where tap water is an option.

Step four is that you need to raise your income. Get a second job if you need to, or get a primary job that doesn't suck. Pick up a hustle, an online business, freelance, whatever. Work gigs when you can fit them in to your schedule.

Step five is learning about personal finance, how to save, and generally getting your financial shit worked out so you can be a functioning member of society.

atleast you have free healthcare, right? For when you cant afford to feed yourselves or heat your apartments and you suddenly need to go to the hospital. Just think, if you lived in America you would be able to avoid all of this, unless you are retarded and injury yourself frequently.

It's extra nice because hospital waiting rooms take so long there's always homeless people using then as a place to catch a few hours sleep while they wait.

sounds great. Well here in America, im a student taking no loans, working 15 hours a week, paying for my apartment, tuition, etc. Atleast you get healthcare and free college though, you can eat a portion of your knowledge dense brain when you are starving to death, and sleep with bums in the hospital.

In suburbs if columbus oh you can get a decent 2 bedroom for 700, or a shitty 2 bed for 500.

studios are very rarely the cheapest option. If you want to save money, you get roommates.

cronometer.com/

Check price of food at store, and min/max your calories and protein with that site. With your 3$ its likely oats until your next salary. With 30$ per month its oats, white sugar, olive oil, some boiled cabbage and egg per day.

Realize that on long term you are fucked, unless you change something.

First consider buying long term food instead of internet and losing time on Veeky Forums

Holy shit shut up dude.

You realize this is the best advice in the thread? This guy sounds like he's already been through it.

pure sugar

No it's just some pretentious long winded response saying to flip his life upside down and giving vague "just figure it out" advice to an OP who just want's to eat $3 worth of food and some ketchup packets.

I bet you're him, too.

Wal-Mart, or at least Alberta Wal-Mart's have bags of produce marked down to a dollar. Most of the time the shits fine but isn't the best looking of the bunch. You can get a shit tonne of potatoes for cheap that way.

So let's just solve a problem temporarily, instead of a long term solution. It will be better for OP to have to scramble for food every day.

OP is basically a fatty coming in asking what the best exercise is to burn weight, only it's finance instead of health. You can give them an exercise and set them on their way, and in three months they'll be no better off than they were in the first place. You give them a complete path to getting their shit in order and understanding how fitness works, they actually have a chance to lose weight--same goes for monetary shortfalls and your finances.

It's not pretentious to give simple financial advice that anyone can apply.

It's like some guy is coming in asking if whole or nonfat milk is better for fitness and you fucks go on some rant around how to raise a baby calf so you can suckle the milk directly yourself. It's pretentious. It's reddit. Saying shit like "Just move somewhere cheaper and stop buying things" isn't actually helpful, it just makes the writer feel like they're more intelligent than the OP for 15 seconds. It's obnoxious.

Milk here is $1.49 a gallon. Three dollars would get you two gallons, or 4,800 calories.

Pretty sure you ain't gonna beat that.

stop being a fag go and fish or go some place and hunt something. you know how easy it is to kill ducks? go to the places where familys feed them they will walk upto if you have bread.
srsly dont understand how you can go hungry in a first world country

I think you can get 500g of macaroni and 1kg of potatoes for under $3 Canadian. You should be able to get about 10 meals out of that. If you really need it to stretch, eating only twice a day it will last about 5 days.

Listen dude, if you're really hungry, go to a soup kitchen. You might feel ashamed but it's better than going hungry. Or if you don't want to do that, try looking in the bins at grocery stores for all the food they throw away.

It has only as much to do with intelligence as eating healthy or any other good habit does.

OP isn't asking for help making a decision between two binary options, he's asking for advice on how to plug up holes when he needs to replace his pipes

I'm pretty convinced everyone on this board is retarded, but I'm fairly sure if OP honestly needed financial help he could ask for it in a variety of outlets.

You're honestly assuming OP is too stupid to realize that if he literally was starving because he coulden't afford food it's a problem. I think he's fine, he probably woulden't be posting on Veeky Forums if he was in his death throes.

Also I used to be a credit counselor for a living. That advice is just garbage anyway.

>if you are ashamed of going to a soup kitchen go literally dig through dumpsters

okay

Pride my dude. People don't like relying on others

Like that other dude said about pride, all that matters is that nobody sees you

many people realize they have a problem, but don't actually know what the problem is. OP thinks his problem is that he has $30 a month for groceries. The actual problem is that he's allocating way too much of his income to other parts of his budget; living in a place he can't afford. This is like fatties blaming their fat on thyroid problems.

>Also I used to be a credit counselor for a living.

Wow, no wonder you quit, you must've been fucking awful.

If you have any bakers squares or village inns near where you live they sell a pie called caramel pecan silk supreme, here's the nutritional facts for one slice.

Good for a dirty bulk.

Peanut butter. Vegetable oil. Lard.

Is that like infinite calories? Surely you burn some producing/extracting the semen.

>Is that like infinite calories?

jesus christ Veeky Forums really is this stupid