Shit your DYEL friends say

Read subject, shit your dyel friends say edition.

>I just want to get toned

>Creatine does not work bro

>Im Italian, so my legs are naturally big so I dont need do work them (background, my friend has skinny fucking legs)

>I'm trying to go running again, but my feet hurt.
>I didn't like the shoes the athletics store told me to get
>can we stop at the store? I need cigarettes.

>I used to bench about 315, I just haven't gone to the gym in a while.

Wat
So given the fact that I am Italian, have big legs from playing rugby 3 years + genetics i will be a fucking trex if i keep working them

My worst one is a friend from high school who I frequently consider losing my virginity to, but instead I just masturbate and immediately decide I'd have felt like shit if I actually fucked her because she's too chubby. 7/10 face but she's fridge-mode.

>looks at nutrition facts of fun size hershey bars (after eating a few)
>"wait, can I eat these? Yeah, I can eat these"
>proceeds to eat about fifteen mini hershey bars

>"French fries are my weakness. I make sure to never finish my fries at Steak and Shake"

>"I wish I was a guy so I could always eat whatever I wanted"

>"My least favorite thing about college is the freshman fifteen. I don't know how some people avoid it"

She took one cardio class in high school, but she has never been thin and now she just lifts light weights about once a week and thinks it's a good amount of exercise, bless her little heart.

LMFAO! Really like your third one, heard it many times.
LMFAOOOOO! The dyel national anthem
Apparently
Lord knows the blessings wont keep her own gainz goblin away.

>i really dont have to do anything, my metabolism is killer

>all you need to do is run

>you're eating way too much

>Why do you go the gym, user? Why not do something functional?

I can tell that you're new here

We all gotta start somewhere.
I payed my dews and read the sticky.

Just don't be happy and you'll fit in

...

>wow this grocery bag is really heavy
>I dont like milk
>how many push ups can you do?

>A grand chess master burns more calories in 1 game than a marathon runner does over 1 marathon

We roasted him bretty good after that, now he never says anything fit related

Thats pretty autistic.
I think you win the thread dude.

but muh brain burns cals just by thinking hard!

that was essentially his argument, we brought up how the body sweats to get rid of heat (energy) and a grand chess master would probably break little to no sweat compared to a marathon runner.

he refused to believe that, so we googled studies and he even refused to believe tho.

that's almost as dumb as my friend who thinks giving money to the government will fix climate change

from this chubby girl in my circle of friends that noone really likes:
>omg user why do you eat that much thats disgusting
>look at this guys, anons gonna be so fat if he eats like that for how long? 3 month

i just roasted her saying that i didnt understand why she is so bothered, judging from her belly her bulking game must be way stronger than mine

>Protein shakes don't work user. I started having them and it just made me fat.
>I bet you've got nice ripped abs under there.. oh.

A teacher of mine honestly believed that laying in bed the entire day would burn the same amount of calories as a normal, active lifestyle (i.e. walking around, doing stuff, going outside and such).
She wouldn't listen to reason either, and just kept repeating her bullshit

>6 meals a day? You'll only get fat.
>You can't cook good meals.
>Your gym stuff is taking so much space, a good pair of shoes is enough.
>I do crossfit, so I'm healthier than 95% of people.

I'm Italian and my legs would be stick tier if I didn't train them. What kinda dumbass logic

>protein powder has no nutritional value

>you shouldn't eat that much protein

>all these protein powder things aren't "natural"

>look at [some elite athlete], that's real muscle

>you cant cook good meals
Maybe it wasnt a general statement, but you actually suck

well desu over half of the protein powder out there is aminospiked and probably laden with heavy metals. so unless you buy from a company that has products checked by an independent third party lab and published publicly you dont know what you're drinking.

>t-nation is a good informative website
A tard with a PE degree said this.

>Shit your DYEL friends say.
>I like girls
>no bro that's gay

That has nothing to do with having no nutrional value

chicken mc nuggets have nutritional value...
BUT
are they good for you?
you are falling for the fallacy fallacy

GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>I do crossfit, so I'm healthier than 95% of people.
Probably true in a lot of places. If you do crossfit and don't eat like a pig you're better off than 50% of americans.

It's her little arteries I'm praying for

Hey Veeky Forums how many sheets of paper does it take to make wood?

>i don't wanna get too big
This is the funniest one.

no matter how many sheets u have, the tree remains dead.

So if you actually make gainz are you healthier than the majority + all the crossfit pussies?

>I don't wanna get big, just toned
This shit triggers me pretty hard when they say it desu senpai

>You're not that strong. X has real strength from manual labour.

>Why do you eat more than X? He works manual labour so he needs it much more.

>Protein powder isn't natural, it's terrible for you!

>Why are you doing exercise right after you shower, you're gonna sweat?! (After a set of like 8 chinups and max is 16 that I do throughout the day)

this

i find it funny that they think they have the drive and motivation to get too big

>omg user you got so fat, you look nothing like last summer, you need to lose weight

I'm bulking you stupid slut.

>running long distance doesn't help you lose weight at all

the first 3 trigger me beyond belief

Kek

> I get bored lifting weights in the gym, I'd rather play sports
> Why are you eating protein powder? What a tryhard

more generally

> oh what u bench bro???
> oh really I used to bench [your weight+10]

>LMFAO

stop.

>I get bored lifting weights in the gym, I'd rather play sports
Are you really so autistic that this bothers you?

I just burned 800 calories trying to process how someone could be that stupid.

> be skelly frog
> 'playing sports' means 'passing soccer ball to each other half-heartedly for half an hour between cigarette breaks'

>Not chessboxing while on a cut

Confirmed for never making it

>Why are you eating a protein bar, you're supposed to eat one before you exercise

>oh you lift x?
>i could probably lift something around that too

>bulking is easy, all you do is eat a lot and lift less
>shredding is harder, you have to eat less and lift more

>lifting is just a stage

It makes me angry sometimes how fucking stupid teachers are.

My sister is getting her teachers certification and a masters in education and the final exam was a fucking take-home multiple choice test they had a week to complete. Basically if you want to be a teacher and you have enough money they'll give you a masters and let you teach no matter how fucking retarded you are.

Italian with chicken legs here. What's this story about?
I have to train so hard to get a bit of muscle there

>I ate an protein bar this morning and I already feel my "muscles" are pumped up

>Wow i'm really sore, probably overdid it, shouldn't do that again.
On your first workout. Really. Weak-willed pussy mother fuckers everywhere.

Shit if you eat clean you're probably healthier than 50% of Americans without even exercising.

>ill get too bulky if i take protein powder

Implying schools and proffessors arent leftits propaganda centers

>I used to bench 3pl8 before my shoulder got hurt

>bodybuilders are weak

>my dad was a lumberjack
>tree trunks are heavy
>he never complained unlike kids these days

>you're getting too muscular, chicks won't dig it

>why would you eat healthy? it's all about taste
>protein shakes will fuck up your kidneys

wew lad

>wait my arm kinda hurts, I'll lower the weights
>strange, my back hurts. I'll lower the weight
>fuck neck pain again, I'll lower the weights
>man I'm not feeling it today. It's kinda like we never progress
I love him as my best friends but he's a pussy

The day my brain starts to burn calories is the day I die. I don't like thinking.

If shiv a bitch for Steak N Shake right now. Too bad none near my house. Fuck senpai why did you bring it up?

>I don't want to get too big!
I can feel the rage building up as I type it.

Jokes aside, you don't have to get fat to bulk. Just bulk more slowly.

All my friends hit me up for lifting advice, they're all lazy fucks.
> My friend who's a complete skelly thinks he can get shredded withing two months.
> Whenever my friends make plans to go to the gym with me they always change their mind at the last minute because they'd rather smoke weed and do drugs.

steak and shake is garbage food
like worse than mcdonalds tier

>crossfit is really good
>don't lift weights you'll get too buff and then look terrible

>"HEY we should all go to the gym, get shredded!"
>ok

>have already been hitting the gym for a year
>have a routine
>he asks to go to the gym with him on random days at random hours
>always tries to do random shit that has never done before, no routine
>gives up after a month

You do know that in the developed world, you can't just put anything on the market without having it pass testing by a government authority which makes sure that what you put on the label is really what's in your powder? In the US I guess it would be the FDA. Granted, your quality control and limits on stuff like heavy metals is probably more lax than here in Europe but it's still controlled.

>Bro, you don't have to go so heavy, just use lower weight and do more reps

It might not be a very bad idea, but I don't see how benching the bar for 3 sets of 20 would be very benificial for anything other than drilling form.

What is wrong with this? Is it the fact that they use the word toned?

ReAdThEsTiCkY

everything is just a transition from one thing to another if you really thin about it, dont get too hung up in the metaphysical strings being pulled and just lift heavy thins and put them back down while casuals transition into garbage

I have, though not recently. If you have the time to tell me to read the sticky you can just tell me the problem with not wanting to get too big.

>hey man thinking of going on an EC stack
>>no bro that's dangerous!
>oh yeah? Why?
>>lol idk it just is
>I'm gonna go on one next week after researching it some more
>>don't be dumb user!

What the fuck man, don't talk about shit you have no clue about

Muscle endurance, develops best in 30ish range. But obviously the faggots that give advice like that think its good for hypertrophy or strength. They probably dont even know what hypertrophy or difference between that and strength is.