Constipation

tried that too

it just makes me sick now and doesn't help

Eat some taco bell. Clears me right up and I always use it for cleanses. This isn't a joke btw but I can see how people would perceive it as such

Alright I really need to take a dump and I'm this guy Will report back in this thread if I end up shitting blood again, wish me luck bros

>Been to many doctors and they're idiots and can't do shit for me.
This is a lie.

This might sound like I am joking or being mean, but have you considered being on the receiving end of anal sex?

This might sound like a cruel prank, but I really mean what I'm about to say: have you considered falling ass first into a large pile of broom handles?

Success!! no blood!

Also OP just remembered, you should legitimately try out squat toilets, there are also "adapters" for western toilets that is basically a platform you slid underneath your feet to semi-replicate the squatting position while you sit on the toilet

This ain't even possible, babe. If you're eating, that food had to go somewhere. If you don't shit you're going to die. Also, have you tried squatting over the toilet?

Right babe?

>Been to many doctors and they're idiots and can't shit for me.

Drink more water, like literally to the point where your piss becomes pale yellow/ clear

I tried numerous medications and nothing worked for me, then I tried just the simplest thing ever - soluble fiber. You buy it in a big packet, mix it with water and drink once or twice a day and your shits become smooth and regular (huge, too). Once I'm using is a mix of "Plantago ovata" seeds (Latin name, don't know what it's called in English) and apple fibers.

You need to make sure you're getting enough magnesium. It's a nutrient many people are commonly deficient in, but aside from that it helps to soften your poop. Lemme tell you from experience, it works.

Damn, I have the exact same problem.
I shit maybe once a week, once every two weeks, and when I do it's tiny little rock hard pebbles.
I used to take laxatives once a week to get shit moving, but after I did that for 3 months I think my body got too used to it and it stopped working.

Eat a cup of plain yoghurt every day. After a week or two your shits should be a lot smoother.

Without knowing what and how much you're eating everyone in here is simply guessing and throwing around google results.

If you've tried various diets and you're still having the same results then it's almost certainly medical. Ask a Doctor and stop being a spastic.

Also you said pebbles/no poop which would make me think it's simply lack of calories and fibre, but since you've tried high fibre diets already I'd suggest this stuff. Pretty hard not to poop properly with this stuff in your colon.

eat bananas and relax

drink a lot of water

stop eating crisps, chocolate etc

On a related note.

Does anyone else's poo just won't fucking flush?

I shit massive fucking turds every morning and no matter how many times I try it fucking won't go down and is floating there untill it disintegrates by the end of the day and I can finally flush it by night if I'm lucky not to shit twice that day.

What the fuck brehs?

poorly designed "environmentally friendly" euro cuck toilets?

Check your toilet reservoir thing. There's usually a big floating bulb attached to a long screw that dictates how much water the reservoir will fill to. If it's screwed in too far, you'll have less volume in there when you flush it. Bring out the arm further and let it float higher. Also check that the flapper valve at the bottom isn't too loose or tight and that the rubber hasn't degraded. If it's not that, consider a more powerful toilet, use a plunger, use less paper or pour in boiling water to flush if all else fails.

It's a regular toilet nothing special idk

I'm thinking of shitting at work for once to see if it really is a toilet problem

If I do this it comes out in one huge constipated log they next morning. Would not recommend.

Eat a bunch of fiber. Buy some fiber one and just chug that shit. Make green smoothies. Eat oranges and bananas.

People piss and it doesn't come out clear? What the fuck?

Wow thanks plumber brah, will try that

This is information from my gf, who while very intelligent, very careful with research always tends toward hyperbolic exaggeration in speaking, so take all of this with a pinch of salt. She has or had the same problem and suspected based on other traits she and members of her family had a mild form of Waardenberg syndrome (pic related), it varies in the extremity exhibited. Apparently among symptoms of this syndrome is stomach issues, including not pooping and poor digestion, this is from inactive or under-active nerves in the stomach area. This is similar to issues experienced by opioid users, so she managed to secure a laxative specifically designed for opioid users to stimulate her stomach. It seems to work and she's convinced that is or was the problem.

>so she managed to secure a laxative specifically designed for opioid users to stimulate her stomach.
FUCK

How do I get this drug?

What is it called?

Better not be naltrexone, because I tried that and it didn't work.

Taco Bell?

I don't remember the name. My father was prescribed it when he was taking painkillers for a pinched nerve he had. I am not actually sure if it is some sort of controlled thing, I wouldn't imagine a laxative would be, but I don't know. I don't know if you're OP but I hope I helped anyone in considering another possibility especially if the regular fiber and prune juice type things don't work

I do not see daily bowl of #oats on this list?

Fixed me....

>I don't know if you're OP
I AM

also thanks

I have god like satisfying shits, literally 14 times a week.

feels good mayn

>ctrl+f flax
>0 results

baka

buy grinded flax seed, keep them in your fridge, eat 1-2 tablespoons with lots of water every day. make sure to drink 3l water over the day when consuming flax seed

Have you tried reaching your finger in there and scooping out the poop rocks lining your anus? Sometimes you just need a bit of elbow grease to get that poop out of there.

Cut back on the cheese. Really that, and you are probably eating too much protein (probably steak).

Coffee, green bananas, and soda are all poop inducers.

Drink more water, seriously!, drink more water.

Green bananas aren't a good idea, they're very difficult to digest due to the high starch levels. Those black and bruised bananas, on the other hand, will have you voiding your bowels in no time.

Metamucil or psyllium husk might help. Metamucil worked for me, but apparently its just psyllium husks.

Still personally, i would go with metamucil just for convenience sake.

Or you could try milk of magnesia, if you want something that works faster but tastes awful. Even if you do use it, i would consider adding in lots of fiber or the metamucil until things straighten out.

Also for health down the road, you could start drinking kefir.

Source: I had some terrible digestive problems for about half a year. Finally got them situated out when i did the stuff above.

PRUNE JUICE
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Hell yeah bro

Every other friday night I blast those fucking quesaritos down RAAAARGH taco bell FUCK i want some now