Start eating like Veeky Forums

Many finger sized blobs two times a day every day.

Used to poop impacted dark 6-12 inch snake turds before I got Veeky Forums

Up ya fiber boi

Hemeroids from years of being a fatfuck.
Blood. Pain. Suffering. I barely eat to keep from shitting and when i do i take it with loads of liquids.
Close to an hero.

does anyone else sometimes need to lean to one side to make that last bit of shit leave your bowel easily?
am i the only one experiencing this?

>keto
>tfw only poop twice a week

I used to have to wipe 50 times when I shit but I did an enema not that long ago and now I only have to wipe extra on sloppy shits

>enema
elaborate

Never had an issue crapping.

Eating crap or eating Veeky Forums, my body handles it all.

Gallon milk a day is hemorrhoid fuel so I had to cut down to half

Ok fuck this thread I'm outta here

I think ur dying brah

He shoved a hose up his anus and turned the water on full blast

>google

Usually it's slush :( not happy about it. Diet is fruit, protein shakes, protein milk cartons, nuts, standard dinner of chicken breast or salmon with veggies.

Once in a while I will get nice poops that are solid as a rock, the one and done wipes are nice. Hate slush poop because you have to wipe so much

>mfw on a cut and decide I'm going vegetarian for the month of May
> My bowels feel great
>I feel great
> don't know if I will go back to meat
Maybe once my cut is done and I'm lifting heavy again but I didn't think I would feel this good and I'm only half way in

>im not /fit

>shit on tuesday before my math final
>thought it was nervous diarrhea
>sit on toilet
>push real hard to just get it out of me
>not diarrhea
>exceptionally large log
>exceptionally well greased log
>shot outta me like a cannon
>my asshole went from the size of a dime to a half dollar in under a second
>got raped in reverse
>feeling of pain+fire
>howitfeelstochew5gum.wemb
>gabbed sink and shower curtain
>wife and kid still asleep upstairs
>cant scream
>make noises like a puppy tied to ceiling fan for 6 minutes.
>get to university
>scored an 83% on algebra final

Not too bad i guess

Just eat more fucking fiber
Toss some flax into your shakes and be done with it.

Mine are great too. I'm thankful of that.

Before eating properly I had to shot once every 1 or 1 1/2 week.

Water and fiber

STAY HYDRATED

bro what

Are you drinking water?

i can hurt and stretch ur asshole bby

why u have wife and kids mang

Pretty bad. I have darky shits that look to be the result of digested blood and I swear I am shitting from two holes.

Gonna need to visit the doctor once this semester ends senpai.

been eating salad and steak alot, only need to wipe once

this threat is making me horny srry for autocorrect ;)

>It starts poking out of the water
NO GO BACK IN.

Does anyone's colon smell like rotting death? When ever I pass gas or make a bowel movement it is some of the most rancid stuff ever. I am usually considerate and not fart around people to spare them from this hell, but I wonder what could be causing it. Well I guess the beans partly cause it because it has the scent of them in it but this is a bit much.

>gabbed sink and shower curtain
>cant scream
>make noises like a puppy tied to ceiling fan for 6 minutes

oh man, those scraper shits you want to climb away from

recently discovered this phenomenon

my greatest discovery in life

protein farts man, they are absolutely killer

>boyfriend hates spicy food
>Cut out all spicy food from my diet (spicy is not good when you are bottoming anyway)
>boyfriend goes out of town
>Make myself spicy green curry
>toxic spicy cloud in kitchen when I was cooking it.
>eating it made my eyes water, my nose run and gave me the sweats
>IT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUS!
>Coming out it was like lava leaving my anus
>I thought about getting in the shower so I could rinse cold water on my hole to make it feel better.

More water more fibre. Death smell is not a good thing.

How was anal with fire anus?

pls learn the diff between soluble & insoluble fiber and get a good balance of both

but more soluble if u get the shits, more insoluble if u cant shit

Who else >no wipe

>keto
>fuckwit

I generally have pretty regular bowel movements. One or two big logs then a few smaller ones. One shit in the morning and one before bed. I can almost time it on my watch when I need to shit. Every shit I have is a one or none wiper.

>he examines his shits

>implying you don't

user, shits aren't something to be ashamed of. They can help you gain a better understanding of what you should and should not be eating. Shit is a physical manifestation of how your body deals with nutrition and elimination, shit can tell you if you have a disease or a messed up gut and shit can tell you what you are missing from your diet. Don't fucking turn your nose up at something that can literally save you from a life of hell known as suffering from IBS or death from internal bleeding. You need to look at your poos and use them to assess your diet. Fuck you for being demonizing a natural body process and shitting on (no pun intended) people that understand that checking out what is in the bowl is important to their health. These threads are important fucker, fuck you.

how to analyze a shit

Examining your shit is literally the best way to know your general health.
I'm not kidding.

They are what they are since i eat pretty much anything as long as i hit 4k and 200g broteins

My turds are massive and solid, but pushing them out is painful. Starting to think I might have hemorrhoids. Which would be pretty bad because due to consuming a lot of fibre my turds will remain massive.

you are probably eating too much brotein brah

Just do some research user, the gastrointestinal tract is absolutely crucial to good health. I'll link you some websites and attach a basic infographic on the subject (the infographic is not the be all and end all). Learning to read what your poo says can help you avoid so many problems with health down the track. If you start to treat your gut right, your gut will take care of you user. Think of your gut as a little bro, he can be annoying at times, play up and the like. But you gotta help him because he is close to you and you care and then the little brother grows into a good person that helps you back. If you give your gut the right stuff, the gut will make sure you keep on going. Your gut will give you warning signs that all is not well inside of you, it will tell you what is wrong. It's just up to you to learn how to interpret and use those signs that your body gives you. Here are some links: medicalnewstoday.com/articles/290747.php
greatist.com/grow/gut-bacteria
navacenter.com/community/article-library/browse/2015/06/01/your-body's-second-brain---the-importance-of-gut-health
livescience.com/39444-gut-bacteria-health.html
eleisawifelife.wordpress.com/2011/07/13/stool-analysis-and-poo-chart/
bloomtofit.com/how-to-analyze-your-stool-for-a-healthier-digestive-system
Hope this helps user.

All I drink is water, I try to make my urine as clear as I can. I often eat carrots, apples, bananas, and beans every day so I am fairly regular when it comes to bowel movements and they are often consistent. I just can't comprehend the god awful smell.

You eat a lot of eggs? The sulfur in eggs give a rancid smell to fecies. Other that that, if you have regular bowels then very bad smell can be a sign of bowel cancer.

my shit is a massive sticky blob

lmao

same problem here, starting to think i have fucking celiac disease or some shit senpai.

I have heavenly poops, most the time I whipe once and the papers clean and that's it, this happens most the time I shit. I'm also a vegan though

Meat is for peasents anyways

Some videos on gut bacteria

nutritionfacts.org/video/microbiome-the-inside-story/
nutritionfacts.org/video/prebiotics-tending-our-inner-garden/
nutritionfacts.org/video/how-to-reduce-carcinogenic-bile-acid-production/
nutritionfacts.org/video/stool-ph-and-colon-cancer/

>start eating a cup of grits a day
>have an amazing bowel cleansing shit daily

feels good man