Confidence

DMT did the same thing for me. Realization that we are so insignificant in the universe and our lives here are a speck in the river of time. Also experienced ego death from that trip, waking up and not remembering a thing about life was weird. Wouldn't recommend, but changed my perspective. Quit my dead end job, got fit, back to uni for STEM, have gf. YMMV

Confidence is an attitude first and is then reinforced by experience.

It's about seeing the value in being proactive, seeing your ability to change yourself, visualize success, and to ignore depressive thoughts. Once you have taken this attitude, it feels more logical to do things that would require confidence like asking a girl for her number.

Once you get a few numbers or do whatever else that makes you scared, you have reinforced the new attitude by succeeding and fear rejection or failure less, bringing more confidence to you.

In order to get confidence, you have to make a home for it within yourself.

It requires nothing to start but the willingness to change. It takes time, but it's worth it and you'll see improvement almost immediately..

Okay, given all the bad advice being given here, I thought I'd step in.

First off all, the very first premise that you have to understand is that you can change. Thoughts and behaviors of one kind (whether it's positive, self-affirming, negative, depressive, etc) are there as wired to your mind. The more you do something, or train yourself to think in a manner, the more easier and consistent you will behave and think like that.
With that being said, one of these thoughts that you must internalize is this: Never worry about things you cannot change. This is simple, widely applicable, but not easy to internalize. You must train yourself to remember and apply it to your life.
Now, how do you apply this? Well, an example is your past. Have you been beaten by life? Parent issues? Have done regretful things? Not experience enough? Been rejected? Well, those things are things you cannot change. They're inescapable, unfixable, and completely pointless for you to let them affect your development and happiness. Another example, the future. It is good to have a plan, have many purposes in life, lifelong goals you'd want to achieve. You must strive to do them, BUT you must realize that the world is not a fair place and will kick your teeth in whenever you think things are going well. Disasters and failures are inevitable in life. But you're doing what you think is right, so don't let the prospects of these disasters affect your development and happiness. Another example is the present. This moment right now. The reality you're experiencing right now is inescapable, inevitable and there is nothing you can do about it. So, you have the choice on how you'll react to it. Be appreciative of the things you have, put your worries aside and feel good. The things around you are beautiful, your surroundings, the people, and the million and one things you could do. Be happy with the present because it is inescapable.
Cont.

this is nice to read user

Listen to The Rock's theme from 1998 for confidence: youtube.com/watch?v=1n8yyfKYgl4

>uni for STEM

>He fell for the STEM meme!

>he fell for the uni meme

Niggas what
Can I have a red pill on why it is a meme? Cause I fell for it.

I didn't mean to single out that one post quoted in my first post. I meant every single advice on this thread is pretty garbage imo.

So, once you internalize and apply the concept of: Never worry about things you cannot change. You're left with the corollary that you should concern your thoughts to the things you can change.

Read. There is so much knowledge put out there from great wise people. Begin developing your knowledge and you'll become interesting, or will have interesting things to talk. You will also have a greater understanding of reality. Once your concept of reality grows and becomes stronger, you will communicate this on the way you carry yourself. When you talk to others, how you look at the world, you become at peace with it and your place in it.

Live your life towards purposes. Realize what is important to you. What you want out of life once you're old and dying, like if you're looking back. You realize that the world has so much to offer you, and the only person who's getting in your way is yourself. Your complacency. Your lack of adventure. Your fear. Get purposes. They can be simply "Have a family" or "inspire others" or "be a good person" or "have a good career" and strive to accomplish them. Screw failures or whether you achieve them out not. It's about you doing what you think is right. If you fail, don't worry about things you can't change.

Live by principles. Being a person of integrity is rare and becoming rarer. Have guidelines on your behavior. "Strive to tell the truth", "be the source of positivity within a social setting", "never steal", etc. These are like purposes but are meant to be smaller and applicable to the small things in life, such as the menial things you go through everyday. The more you live your life in line with principles, the more sure you'll be of yourself. The more confident you'll be. The more you do it, the stronger your identity, the concept of who you are and what you stand for, will become.
Cont.

Saying STEM is a meme is sort of a meme in itself, but there is an element of truth.

Kids go into college thinking STEM = job, ca$h money, etc.

Realistically, TEM = job, maybe ca$h money depending. T as in CS and in demand IT fields.

The caveat for M is that it is competitive, a long journey, requires drive etc.

As for S, it doesn't guarantee a job in the way that TEM is. Physics/math, as an example, may be intellectually rigorous, but you are going to want some marketable skills to show (e.g. a programming class, a lot of stats background, etc.).

Meanwhile, some people major in biology or chemistry thinking they are fine because they count as S. You aren't doomed or useless, but you really need stats, programming, w/e to get value and a job out of such a degree, otherwise you may as well have studied sociology.

Realistically, the letters for people who just want college -> job with little extracurricular skill gathering should be FTEM, where F is finance.

This is simplified and ignores things like quality of university (e.g. you could do sociology at Harvard or UChi, score a 4.0, and try and roll into an interview with an MBB or something). It also assumes you will not be pursuing a graduate degree, and ignores the possibility of professional degrees helping you change paths.

(Not OP here)
Please post more
These are very comfy to read
I feel like Luke on Dagobah

Your advice is the advice I gave in the quote you singled out, but peppered with purple prose and self-help word vomit.

It's cool that you have read the Stoics and are into virtue ethics, but adding words doesn't change the fact that the heart of the message is the same.

>Live your life towards puproses.
>Live by principles.

= Get something to focus on other than yourself.

You don't really need to gobble down Meditations or Nicomachean Ethics to get to those points, especially on a Catalonian weasel wrangling board, but sure, they will help change your perspective.

It takes time, but as I've said the more consistent you are with, the easier it becomes. Let your brain be rewired for the better.

Have full trust on yourself. This will become better as you internalize the previous concepts better. It is a notion that you have full trust in your abilities. You trust yourself to say the right things. It's a good feeling. Embrace it. Be at peace with yourself. The more you go out there and practice this mindset, the better you'll communicate it.

Once you put all these concepts together. You realize that the way you carry yourself can be summarized a follows: You're the kind of person who is unbridled, congruent, interesting, unaffected by the outcome of a situation, and does what he thinks is right. You're happy with who you are. You don't let external things affect your well being. You know what you want, go for what you want, and you get what you want. You have therefore the qualities of a leader. You trust on yourself to do what's right. You do what you think is right and let the chips fall where they may. Unaffected by failure. Your concept of reality is stronger than others. You do what feels natural. You bring others to your reality. You bring value to other people's life and you don't seek out have a need for other people's validation.

All of this is what confidence is. I've read multiple books on the subject. I've been successful in pick up. I have become good at public speaking. And I hope to inspire to whoever worked through reading my wall of text.

You're right. I was being a bit arrogant. i
It's just I see much advise that work like band-aids. Useless, and meant to be quick fixes. Sometimes plane wrong and encourage people to grow complacent and rationalize inaction. They are things that can give you confidence here and there but never resolve the underlying problem. I should've been more careful, especially when I quoted you. For that I apologize.

I faked confidence for like a year but now i can't keep the facade anymore, my life sucks and i'm totally depressed, i don't know why i lift but i keep it because of the motions

confidence if it's not true and internalized is just a facade waiting to get explode again

That's rather circular

you literally fake it till you make it. im not memeing. act confident and you will become confident

Follow this advice to become like this

>Kids go into college thinking STEM = job, ca$h money, etc.
I wen't into stem because i have a passion for mathematics, its the only things im good at.

Your advice isn't bad (Though INCREDIBLY common on every mom-core website) but implying it's superior to the other advice in this thread is incredibly pretentious and incorrect.

It sounds like you just finished reading meditations and are riding that high of finishing a decent book.

We all have nuggets of wisdom to give.

Nothing wrong with that. There are a lot different reasons to get an education and choose what to study.

The main idea is that people know what they are getting into when they pick a major.

Adding to it, faking confidence to me meant to

>use good clothes even if you don't feel like you can pull them off (you get used to them but if you feel like shit it's the first thing you will feel insecure about),

>using those chad type necklaces or accesories like that to peacock (no fedora kek, but sunglasses and normiecore stuff

>speaking like a dudebro

>make joke battles where the less creative loses (even if you in reality can't handle much banter and feel like shit afterwards)

>trying to act independent and that you don't need relationships when you really crave for them in your interior (this specifically is poisoning as fuck because you develop this weird shit where you get bored of people quickly because of your fake confidence but at the same time you feel the need to have some longer interactions with them)

If you could point to me to advice posted in this thread that is better than what I've posted, I'd be grateful. There is good advice ITT and it deserves recognition, but you gotta admit that a lot of the stuff being said is counterproductive and inefficient.

Whatever you do, don't follow this advice.

>depending on clothes to feel good about yourself.

>peacocking

>talk like somebody else

>make joke battles

>act independent

How about:
Dress well, clean and whatever you feel comfortable, learn to bring confidence from you being you. Be happy with who you are, and simply do what you think is right regardless of consequence.

Don't rely on external things to bring you confidence.

For crying out loud, don't act like somebody else. Develop yourself and its okay to change, especially in tonality and communicating confidence in your voice, but don't try to emulate others. Develop your own voice.

Don't fall for social gimmicks. It's okay to know them, but don't rely on them. You must do what feels right and what you think the situation calls for. If you rely on 'joke battles' then you are likely to bring it up in the wrong situation. It's better to control the situation and learn to read and do what congress natural. Develop this. Don't worry about failures. And keep at it. You know you can do it.

Learn to not rely on other's validation. Know that you're interesting. Trust yourself say and do the right thing. Be strong. Be fun. Be natural in your environment. Don't depend on others for validation. Bring value to them and accept value from them. Don't act like nothing, learn to be this way or you're destined to fail. Know that you can do it.

>I meant every single advice on this thread is pretty garbage imo.

Almost every single post here except "Fake it till you make it" can be taken with success to some degree, with some being more efficient than others. I'm not linking all those posts, it's a waste of my time and you have a brain to find them.

>There is good advice ITT and it deserves recognition, but you gotta admit that a lot of the stuff being said is counterproductive and inefficient.

I agree. My only issue is that you made your own post sound like divine law while the others were worthy of nothing.

Honestly, the biggest issue isn't that people don't know how to grow confidence, it's that they always theorize and never put it into practice. That's the hard part.

I agree. I did come off arrogant. I don't want it to take anything off my advice though. I really want to inspire others, which is why I went good lengths into explaining what I think is right step-by-step. This goes well with the last part of your post too. Which is why I like to emphasize dealing with failure and the power of consistency. These two combined leave no excuses to rationalize leaving the process of self-development. They are crucial to keep going and becoming stronger, happier and more confident as a person.

You have to constantly fail

Break yourself down

And build yourself back up.

If you can rely on yourself for strength, you will be confident.

A little assurance from other people helps too.

take out all these words in your vocabulary

>I guess
>I think
>I'm not sure
>I don't know
>Probably
>Maybe

even if you are confident, its hard to meet people by yourself

everyone is with their social circle, making new friends is hard as fuck after school is done.

Good advice.

youtube.com/watch?v=tCA0jhVCFTw